ninol Posted February 3, 2018 Posted February 3, 2018 (edited) Long story short: The girl accepted my invitation for a second date, and we had a great chemistry, I probably didn't use the moment in the middle, went for a kiss at the end, but in the meantime we also met with my friends... she's gone cold until then. She's a very mood shifting girl, I noticed. Kind of a friend-zoned until then (couple weeks ago), though I teased her over the phone (we only spoke once over the phone, we mainly chat) and I called her late at night. The day after, I asked: I hope you're not mad I called you late, she said: no, no at all. That was 5-6 days ago. But she didn't want to see me when I asked for a date over the phone (i was also not that specific, i said tomorrow or day after tomorrow, and I asked that right at the beginning of a conversation). The connection connection on a first and second date was great, (she let me touch her) but like I said, I probably didn't use the right moment. Any ideas where to proceed from now? She liked the company of my friends, it's just that she gone cold for a romance after that. Should i call her to hangout again with friends, like "fight fire with fire" (it's the same social sircle)). Or insist on a third 1 to 1? Text or call? Edited February 3, 2018 by ninol
act00 Posted February 3, 2018 Posted February 3, 2018 (edited) You're description and writing style is very confusing. I don't understand what's going on. I don't know what you mean by using the moment in the middle, and I'm lost on these dates because you seem to suggest they've been group activities with other people? What stands out is that you state she's "mood shifting." You seem to use this also in the context of "friendzoning." If this girl is that confusing you have no idea if she is interested in you romantically, you're already hitting a wall. She likes the attention and kind of keeps you at arm's length the rest of the time? She is either into you or not. She's not worth your time and energy if she plays hot-cold and can't communicate with you. If she doesn't know what she wants or what she's doing, you don't want to be the experiment, the rebound, or the boy on the side when there's nothing better to do. You state you contacted her late at night and you were worried about her being mad at you. Do you contact her during normal hours? Do you talk or text during normal times or just late at night once in awhile when you're bored and feeling lonely and horny? In other words, outside of your two dates, have you had normal correspondence during normal hours, or do you only contact her and nail down a date when there's nothing else going on? There's way too much unknown and weird dynamics to consider this situation to go anywhere. I'd be especially careful of someone who is "mood shifting." That one begs trouble. I don't know how or when you contact or communicate with her, and if it's consistently late and outside of normal schedules. This is a problem for you if you only contact her when it's late and you're bored. You need to have time for her during normal hours. I'm thinking this one is a bust...move on. Edited February 3, 2018 by act00
Miss Spider Posted February 3, 2018 Posted February 3, 2018 (edited) This is meant to be constructive, so I hope it is taken that way. First, you can never say "we had a great chemistry" unless you know that from the other person 100%. If one person feels chemistry, it usually means there was effort from both people on to get some decent interaction going. It doesn't mean it stemmed from romantic interest. Basically, it doesn't mean the other person felt the same way as you felt during the same interaction. You asked her out over the phone and she declined. Did she give an excuse? Did she offer up an alternative time? Or did she just say she doesn't want to go out again. If she says she is no longer interested, you ought to take her for her word. She just wasn't feeling it. Oh well. There are plenty others out there. There is a chance if you machine gun text her for weeks she will break down and go out with you, but more likely to get a block/number switch/police report filed. My advice is to move on and find someone interested. Edited February 3, 2018 by Cookiesandough
Author ninol Posted February 8, 2018 Author Posted February 8, 2018 Well, I probably wasn't quite clear in my first post - anyhow, this is what happened: We had a second date, and in the middle of it, she leaned towards me, I touched her hair, she flushed and giggled... I made a critical error in that moment that I wasn't progressing toward kiss (that's if I want to analyze things) and decided to go to a party near at friends house, deciding that I'd go for a kiss at the end. She went cold, and when I drove her at her house she said: We're not going to kiss now! I just smiled and hug her, I texted good night later and she responded good night. After a while I called her, like I said, and now I haven't contacted her for a week or so, I don't know if I should invite her to a same social circle gathering, or a gig or something.
Miss Spider Posted February 8, 2018 Posted February 8, 2018 This girl wasn't that interested. You broke down her down for a second date, but she still isn't that interested. She didn't want to kiss. Move on, ferreal.
Author ninol Posted February 8, 2018 Author Posted February 8, 2018 She said she'd like to see me again in a text later... though it's different situation now. I'm just confused as how to proceed. I'd like to see her again even in a friendly manner.
Author ninol Posted February 8, 2018 Author Posted February 8, 2018 Well whaddaya know, just today, after 10 days, she texted me first...
Kentucky Posted February 8, 2018 Posted February 8, 2018 She said she'd like to see me again in a text later... though it's different situation now. I'm just confused as how to proceed. I'd like to see her again even in a friendly manner. Dude, feelings can change on the fly for a young lady who is dating multiple people. Perhaps right then and there she wanted to see you again, but you didn't attempt to setup a third date fast enough or you were on her mind and she was creeped out that you tried to kiss her (not all girls kiss on the second date). As for being just friends, you obviously like her and are attracted to her. You can't be just friends with her. It doesn't work like that. If you try and kiss her again, she will run or hit you.
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