shydude Posted August 25, 2005 Posted August 25, 2005 I've been dating a terrific girl for almost 3 months now, but I've always been really shy and I'm always really nervous when I'm around her. I'm afraid I might lose her if I don't start talking to her more. What can I do?
noname Posted August 25, 2005 Posted August 25, 2005 to put it bluntly... you just gotta get over it. you know what the problem is. either kick the habit or if you feel it is a really serious problem... seek some help. a lot of LS'ers find help in books. maybe somebody here can give you a title (sorry can't help you cause i don't read them). it may help to see a counselor too. what your main focus should be is to find out exactly what the source of your nervousness is. is this normal dating behavior for you or does she not make you feel comfortable enough to let loose around her? it may also help if you tell her that you feel exited around her. don't use the word "nervous", but let her know that you like her so much that sometimes you feel shy. maybe getting it off your chest will loosen you up a bit, and it will help her understand you a little better. if you have been dating her for three months you must have been talkative enough to keep her coming back. you just be putting too much pressure on yourself and the anxiety is killing you. who knows? maybe she even likes you the way you are... good luck
Jayhawks Posted August 25, 2005 Posted August 25, 2005 Is your g/f also shy? You need to date outgoing people to bring you out of your fear. Two shy people will not work. You have to make yourself open up more. Tell her what is going on in your mind. Don't worry that she will think it's silly or nuts. Just talking about anything is better than just sitting there saying nothing. After awhile you will get comfortable and talk a blue streak.
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted August 26, 2005 Posted August 26, 2005 Just be careful that when you are in a quiet mode that you don't give her the impression that you are mad with her. I sometimes take someone's silence as hostility, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who interprets things that way. Some shy people are just not sure how to start or keep conversations going. When you are alone make a mental note of the things you want to know and learn about her, and then when you hit a lull in the conversation you can ask her about those things. Of course, telling her she's beautiful is always a way to get out of a dead spot in the conversation!
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