Coastal10 Posted February 1, 2018 Posted February 1, 2018 Hi guys, I would like some advice or thoughts on how to proceed with my situation please - I met a lovely girl around mid December 2017 so things are still pretty new. I'm 37 and she is 32 and it turned out we both live very close in the same neighborhood. Her parents also live a few streets across from me. We hit things off really well and you could say we've been dating about 7 weeks now and things got physical in week 2 or 3 but things are not being rushed either. We had arranged to get together this previous Sunday and I texted lunchtime that day to see if she wanted to call at mine or vice versa. I didn't hear anything back from her all day so I texted her last thing that night to say I was looking forward to seeing her and wished her a good night. She got back to me immediately say that her mum had been rushed into hospital and that she was in hospital with her all day. (I had already known about her mum having problems with her heart as she had mentioned to me a few times previously but this still came as a shock to me when I had heard she was taken into hospital). She apologized for not getting back to me sooner and I just wished that her mum gets better soon. Obviously her communication with me since Sunday has been minimal and withdrawn. Previous to Sunday our communication between dates was active and flirty. I texted her yesterday morning asking how her mum is doing. She responded very quickly saying that her mum is still in hospital and not doing so good. I told her that I am there for her. She noticed that I had changed my WhatsApp photo and complemented me on that and I just responded with a light-hearted comment and thanked her. That was our last communication. I feel all I could do was tell her that I am there for her and then back off. We have only known each other for 7 weeks and I have never met her family so I feel I shouldn't interfere with her situation. Should I reach out to her again later in the week to see how things are or leave it if she wants to contact me? What is the best approach to this situation? I don't want her feeling more stressed about 'dating' etc when she has enough going on. But I also don't want her thinking I don't care when I do care about her. Thanks
Maggie4 Posted February 1, 2018 Posted February 1, 2018 You don't have to keep asking how her mother is. Ask but don't overdo it. Keep in contact. Tone down on jokes and flirting and making out. You can meet up for dinner after visiting hours, bring her coffee and sit in a park, or lunch at the hospital cafeteria. She still has to eat and take breaks. Those are not dates. You're just meeting as friends.
winny Posted February 1, 2018 Posted February 1, 2018 You should text her every couple of days... and act like you would do with a friend. Keep it short n dont try to flirt. But sound supportive, appreciate her for being there with her Mom. Maybe send a light hearted GIF sometime to make her smile... but dont disappear n act like you dont bother.
Gaeta Posted February 1, 2018 Posted February 1, 2018 Has she given you any details of what is wrong with her mom? Will she need a surgery? Does this lady has siblings attending to her mother? Does she have a father standing by? also, is your new girl going to work?
Miss Spider Posted February 1, 2018 Posted February 1, 2018 Sure, check in on her. That would be nice 1
kaitlynlily6 Posted February 1, 2018 Posted February 1, 2018 Check on her, she may be busy or sad or needing comfort. It would also be nice if you could visit her since you're just in the same neighborhood.
Author Coastal10 Posted February 1, 2018 Author Posted February 1, 2018 Has she given you any details of what is wrong with her mom? Will she need a surgery? Does this lady has siblings attending to her mother? Does she have a father standing by? also, is your new girl going to work? Hi. The only details she mentioned about her mum was on earlier dates and that her mum had a few hospital visits for a heart condition and treatment but things sounded like they had stabilized for her mum. That's all I know until she was taken into hospital. Yes she has a good support network with 3 sister's and a father also. She works full-time.
d0nnivain Posted February 1, 2018 Posted February 1, 2018 Do you know her address? If so, send a "hang in there" card. If you don't, just send supportive e-mails or texts periodically. Perhaps ask if there is a task you can do for her, like pick up her dry cleaning or something.
Aiuta le mani Posted February 4, 2018 Posted February 4, 2018 Hey man! Thanks for sharing here! In this situation, she needs a friend so, be a good friend and offer help! Check on her and ask her if she needs anything, any favors, coffee or anything and be supportive in that way! If you really like, it will be natural and good for her, for you and for your relationship!
justwhoiam Posted February 4, 2018 Posted February 4, 2018 What is the best approach to this situation? I'm fresh out of a similar situation. I took care of my mother until she died towards the end of last year. I feel that she feared for her mother's life. And when you face this type of thing, you must put on a brave face with everyone, but then it comes a time when you break into tears to just let go. I would alternate times when I could talk about things without a problem, and others when I just wanted to avoid it. Especially if there weren't any news, at times for weeks. What did I need? Lots of cuddling I guess. Just feeling someone near and feeling loved. A little bit of distraction, even when everything looked loomy. Empathy and understanding. Unfortunately, I couldn't count on any domestic help, so at times it was hard to keep up with everything (as I also have a family to take care of). And my job was impacted (I work on my own). If you think she might welcome it, make her dinner as a treat. Also, make sure she's OK. At times, I wouldn't mind dining out, as I didn't have to cook late at night. All in all, I had only one person checking on me if I was feeling OK quite regularly. At first, I was unsure how to feel about that. But then I could tell she was really caring about me and feeling I could break down from stress, etc. I hope this helps.
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