Happy Lemming Posted February 2, 2018 Posted February 2, 2018 I am going to take a guess you are over 35? I think I'm going to need to start dating men over 40 just to get away from the texters. It drives me mad, really. It's like an IRC used to be if there as a ton of lag but you still feel the need to look and get back to them ASAP I'm 52... I'm not a fan of texting. I think a woman should hear your voice. In my opinion, it also shows confidence, the ability to think on your feet, and the skill of keeping a conversation going. I think we are losing the art of listening... "Learn to listen, Listen to Learn..." - Author unknown. 4
Jj66 Posted February 2, 2018 Posted February 2, 2018 Fiancée said I did it perfectly for her. I let her know at the end of the first date that I definitely wanted to see her again. She said she would like that too. I said I would call her in a couple of days to set something up. I texted her to make sure she arrived home safely but I didn't contact her the next day. The day after that I texted her to see if it was good time to call. Then I called her to set up the next date. She was available that weakend so we spent Saturday together at a sporting event since that was going well so we decided get dinner and drinks afterward. We had handled the first date the same way with a change of venue in the middle. So in a way the first two dates were really four dates. At no point in the dating process did she wonder whether I was interested and I didn't overwhelm her with text messages in between dates. As a busy professional that would have annoyed her. Much better to get to know her in person. The texting was enough to let her know she was on my mind but not so much that it felt I was coming on too strong. 1
smackie9 Posted February 2, 2018 Posted February 2, 2018 I'm 52... I'm not a fan of texting. I think a woman should hear your voice. In my opinion, it also shows confidence, the ability to think on your feet, and the skill of keeping a conversation going. I think we are losing the art of listening... "Learn to listen, Listen to Learn..." - Author unknown. What you are saying is they should have social skills because yes they are lacking most likely due to the wonderful invention of texting. That's why there is so much frustration/anxiety because the lack of, or too much texting or the messages themselves is misinterpreted. It's turned into a bat sh&^ crazy world over texting. 1
Happy Lemming Posted February 2, 2018 Posted February 2, 2018 (edited) What you are saying is they should have social skills because yes they are lacking most likely due to the wonderful invention of texting. That's why there is so much frustration/anxiety because the lack of, or too much texting or the messages themselves is misinterpreted. It's turned into a bat sh&^ crazy world over texting. I also think texting is a bit impersonal, almost like a business or form letter (like they are using a copy/paste feature). Someone who lacks confidence can hide behind a text. A phone call is definitely more personal. A while back I dated a person with a new smart phone and it had some keyboard app thingy and she could text at lightning speed. I was always 3 texts behind, so a lot of times I would give up and just call her. I also didn't understand all of the abbreviations. Yes, after being on this forum I have learned that dating has devolved into "swiping left or right" and all of this "texting". I know nothing of all of these apps, social media, blocking, unfriending, tagging, etc. etc. It is becoming quite clear as to me why there is so much dating "anxiety and frustration", as you put it. Edited February 2, 2018 by Happy Lemming 2
Happy Lemming Posted February 2, 2018 Posted February 2, 2018 ... to get away from the texters. It drives me mad, really. Cookie... Why don't you communicate that to all of your potential suitors. Is that something you can list on your profile?? After initial communication require they "talk" to you by calling. Refuse to answer texts (with a text) and call them back if they forget and text you. Repeat your requirement that all communication be done via voice, if the gentleman can't follow that simple instruction, throw him back... NEXT!! 3
Miss Spider Posted February 2, 2018 Posted February 2, 2018 To be completely honest Lemming I don't want to talk on the phone either I just wish they'd only use text to set up the dates instead of trying to build a relationship in between the dates with it. 1
grays Posted February 2, 2018 Posted February 2, 2018 It's all the social pressure to "be cool". We men can't let you ladies know we're interested because then we'll seem needy or clingy. Yup. We are all so busy trying to pretend we don't like each other. It's a wonder anyone ever gets laid. I'm 48 and I love texting. Current boyfriend is the only person I've ever enjoyed talking on the phone with because I'm crazy about him and perk up at the sound of his voice.
she'stheone Posted February 2, 2018 Posted February 2, 2018 Yup. We are all so busy trying to pretend we don't like each other. It's a wonder anyone ever gets laid. Right?!!! We have made it so hard to date and fall in love. We are so judgmental of everyone, especially ourselves. So we hide behind a mask and act like someone where not because we don't love ourselves enough. We're so focused on the other person liking us, because we don't like ourselves enough and we need confirmation of that from someone else. Then when things start to go well, it all comes crashing down because the REAL us comes out and the other person's like WTF? Who's this? We avoid working on ourselves hoping the world would change or the opposite sex would change and we never look at the real problem US. We are our own worst enemy and we are in so much pain that we can't even face ourselves to do the work, much less actually do the work. We keep hoping things will get better. If only he/she would just change a little. If only he/she was more xxxx. If only. I say this in most of my posts. We all could use personal development and spiritual work to heal ourselves of the pain we've been hiding from... ...so we can open our hearts and love ourselves more. Then and only then can someone else love us at least as much. Sending you much love and light
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