georgiagirlie Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 Hi guys, So there are lots of "googlable" articles out there that talk about the typical time frame for a couple move in together, when both people are without kids. It seems to say that around 1 year is normal. (That sounds a little fast to me, but Ive read quite a few articles that all come to the same consensus..) It seems harder to find articles that discuss any standard time frame for people to move in with each other when kids are involved. I do not have kids myself, but my boyfriend does, and he is the primary caregiver (has them all the time). We have been together for just over 16 months now. i do not feel ready to move in completely just yet, but I would like to know your thoughts. I'm thinking in the next 6 months or so might feel right, but I want to know your thoughts as to what you all would consider in the normal range when kids are involved. Thanks in advance. Link to post Share on other sites
kassy Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 My boyfriend has kids, we have only been dating for 5 months (and I haven't met the kids yet but will after we get back from holiday in a few weeks). It's a pretty intense relationship. Assuming all goes well (as well as it can with tweens) we are thinking of moving in together when his lease runs out. That will be 18 months dating. Obviously it depends on how it goes with meeting the kids and this timeline could totally change. Not sure if that helps. But really, it doesn't matter what the norm is, what matters is if you feel ready for it and how things are going with your boyfriend and the kids. I would say discuss it with him and move in when feels right for you guys in your relationship. Of it's going to be a forever relationship then there is no need to rush it if you aren't feeling ready. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 Personally I could not see myself moving in with somebody before marriage if kids were involved, especially if it involved any child changing schools. 1 year for DINKs is a minimum, not a recommended timeframe. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 It depends on many factors. * How old are the kids? * How long dad has been divorced? * Would you move in with him or you would all move in a new house? * Would you change neighborhood? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 My boyfriend has a teenage son who lives with him for part of the week. We have been dating for about 20 months now. His son is well adjusted, he has been very kind and welcoming to me, and we haven't had any problems. We talk about moving in together "someday" but we have no definite plans... no rush because of his son. Although, we both say we would be living together now if he didn't have his son to consider. I'm hopeful that it will happen, in another year or two. It all depends on his son and how comfortable they are with the plan. And, I would move in to their house because the child will attend the same school. We would want minimal disruptions for the child. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author georgiagirlie Posted January 31, 2018 Author Share Posted January 31, 2018 It depends on many factors. * How old are the kids? * How long dad has been divorced? * Would you move in with him or you would all move in a new house? * Would you change neighborhood? *The kids are 6 and 8. They often plead with me to stay over more, and one has already suggested I move in with them. So they like me, lol. *Dad is not divorced yet, but separated, living in different countries for 3.5 years. I would not move in until divorce is finalised. *Initially I think I would move in with him and then after a bit of time, maybe a year or so, move somewhere new together (we have discussed moving somewhere new). I'm just really wondering what timeframes people think are normal in these circumstances, given that I know not every situation is the same. Would people say 2 years is acceptable, or too soon? Or within the range of normal? We have talked about marriage etc and overall this has been a pretty serious, committed relationship from early on. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 Do what feels right. Although, I am a firm believer that slow and steady is the way to go... But obviously, DO NOT MOVE IN until you see those signed divorce papers. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Sunlight72 Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 Would people say 2 years is acceptable, or too soon? Or within the range of normal? We have talked about marriage etc and overall this has been a pretty serious, committed relationship from early on.I strongly and exclusively second what d0nnivain posted. No other respectable option in my mind. When you get married is when you can live together. If you're not comfortable committing to and following through on getting married, you should not live with this family. I say this having dated a mother of two for 3.5 years, and we were engaged for a short time before breaking it off. Our parenting styles are too different. Really sucked. Awful, because otherwise we both feel we are a lifetime match. To get real about the impact you'll have on the kids' lives, you need to go through many serious discussions and follow through about raising the kids and parental decisions, etc., which really only gets real when you're married. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 I will say, neither my boyfriend or I feel the need to be married. We are not young anymore and he has been married before. But, I'm not sure that I would feel comfortable moving into their home if we are not married. I wouldn't have said that before we started dating... It just seems like the right thing to do now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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