lbh33 Posted January 31, 2018 Posted January 31, 2018 My boyfriend has often told me he’s going to sleep over text and an hour or two later will make Facebook statuses and reply to comments. I understand if he wants some alone time before bed without texting. That doesn’t actually bother me, but for some reason it does when he makes statuses and interacts with others on social media later. Is this normal or am I overthinking it?
staggerlee71 Posted January 31, 2018 Posted January 31, 2018 overthinking. keep thinking this way and you will be codependent tortured soul 2
Gr8fuln2020 Posted January 31, 2018 Posted January 31, 2018 To be honest, I really think that’s his way of telling you that he wants to stop talking w/o hurting your feelings when in reality he isn’t going to bed. Unfortunately he feels he needs to lie about it. 3
staggerlee71 Posted January 31, 2018 Posted January 31, 2018 there is nothing to see here just breathe 1
basil67 Posted January 31, 2018 Posted January 31, 2018 To be honest, I really think that’s his way of telling you that he wants to stop talking w/o hurting your feelings when in reality he isn’t going to bed. Unfortunately he feels he needs to lie about it. This ^ Would you be mad if he said he was going to have some "me time" and do some quiet surfing? If not, then lead the way and say "goodnight, I'm gonna go chill for a bit". He'll probably follow your lead. I think it would be far more concerning if he said he was going to bed but instead went out. 2
grays Posted January 31, 2018 Posted January 31, 2018 When I "go to bed" I almost always surf the web for a while lying in the dark. I look forward to that time and sometimes I'll text my bf gnight before I do it bc its my winding down time. I dont really want to be engaging w an actual person. 2
JS84 Posted January 31, 2018 Posted January 31, 2018 You're probably overthinking. Whenever I "go to sleep" it's usually preceded by at least 30 minutes to an hour on my phone while I'm lying in bed in the dark. Especially facebook, Netflix, and news apps. It's kind of crazy but when I think about it, me going to sleep without using my phone beforehand is extremely rare. Wow when did that happen O_o And again it's possible he might just not feel like talking or texting either at the end of his night and just doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Which honestly isn't a big deal either. I wouldn't read too much into it.
d0nnivain Posted January 31, 2018 Posted January 31, 2018 This is part of the problem with social media & all the connections we have with people. This window into his life is making you nuts. Unfollow him. Don't unfriend him. Just make sure his stuff doesn't pop into your feed. If you don't see him on line unless you affirmatively go there, you will be less upset by what he's posting. Would you be any happier if he told you the truth -- "I have to go now because I want to post on social media more then I want to talk to you"? Of course not. Accept the feeling saving white lie & let it go.
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 31, 2018 Posted January 31, 2018 I do that even if I really like someone. I need some down time without responding to texts and sometimes in the early stages of becoming bf/gf, I feel the pressure for my texts to be witty all the time. It gets tiring so I sometimes need a break.
act00 Posted January 31, 2018 Posted January 31, 2018 I can certainly understand you feeling wounded by this. BUT ya' gotta chill. He's saying "bed," when really he just wants to relax without having to actively engage in any conversation. He doesn't want to be "on." That's not to say he doesn't adore you and enjoy you. It's quiet time and "me time," and a time for some mindless surfing and likes and posting a comment w/o having to seriously engage with anyone. I would be more concerned if he used the bedtime excuse and then went out on a repeated basis. That's when you have issues. Try not to let this get the best of you. Perhaps avoid social media or take him off any "alerts" that may exist, so you don't see it or focus on it. He is his own person. Allow his time to decompress. 1
heavenonearth Posted January 31, 2018 Posted January 31, 2018 Yeah my ex used to do that too. Drove me nuts. My boyfriend now and i we always call last thing before we turn off all lights. It’s very comforting to know we sort of “go to sleep” together in separate cities. Closer to falling asleep beside each other. But i don’t think we always did this. Not in the beginning. If you’re in love, you do crazy things. Give it time. 1
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