jujuju Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 This girl and I have been dating for a few months. She's been my official girlfriend for a month. But we were good friends for about a year before that. Recently an ex who had dumped her asked to get drinks and catch-up. She texted him back that she hated him and didn't want to talk to him. The last couple weeks we haven't had sex. She always says she's tired, or not in the mood. We talked about it recently and she says she's started thinking about her ex. She says she's been thinking about him more than me, and feels guilty for it. She also says she's scared, because we've been dating for awhile and she really likes me but has "screwed up" in the last few relationships. I asked her what she wanted to do about this, and she said she "wants me". I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do in this situation. TL;DR- Girlfriend thinking about her ex. Sex has stopped. Still "really likes" me and "wants me" though
Lorenza Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 She tells you just enough to make you stay around while things with her ex are unclear. 4
preraph Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 If she doesn't want you bad enough to get her past thinking about her ex to the point where it makes her not want to be with other guys, she doesn't like you enough. Sorry. 3
lolgorgeous Posted January 31, 2018 Posted January 31, 2018 She says that she wants you, but her actions show the complete opposite. Dump her. 3
kendahke Posted January 31, 2018 Posted January 31, 2018 This girl and I have been dating for a few months. She's been my official girlfriend for a month. But we were good friends for about a year before that. Recently an ex who had dumped her asked to get drinks and catch-up. She texted him back that she hated him and didn't want to talk to him. The last couple weeks we haven't had sex. She always says she's tired, or not in the mood. We talked about it recently and she says she's started thinking about her ex. She says she's been thinking about him more than me, and feels guilty for it. She also says she's scared, because we've been dating for awhile and she really likes me but has "screwed up" in the last few relationships. I asked her what she wanted to do about this, and she said she "wants me". I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do in this situation. TL;DR- Girlfriend thinking about her ex. Sex has stopped. Still "really likes" me and "wants me" though How recent was this break up? She wasn't done processing the demise of that relationship. She instead got underneath a new guy thinking she could sex her ex out of her system with someone new. When that didn't happen, she stopped having sex with you and has instead begun pining for him. You are rebound guy. A placeholder for when her ex tells her he wants her back. She isn't ready to be in any relationship right now. She's got a lot of emotional heavy lifting she needs to be doing and she's instead distracting herself from doing that with you---and that's why her ex---that she supposedly hates---wasn't blocked on her phone/social media and could call her up and put something on her mind. I'd step waaaaaaaaaay the hell back from her before she hands you a shredded heart. 3
rickwman Posted January 31, 2018 Posted January 31, 2018 Sounds like she is double minded about her relationships. I would be patient and give her time to figure this out. Share each others expectations. Be honest with one another. Peace unto both of you.
kendahke Posted January 31, 2018 Posted January 31, 2018 Sounds like she is double minded about her relationships. I would be patient and give her time to figure this out. A double minded person is unstable in all their ways... She should have had this figured out before she entered into a new relationship with OP---but she didn't. She chose instead to immediately get under a new guy fresh on the heels of a break up when she wasn't over the guy she is showing she'd rather be with. Who gives intimate time and access to someone they're supposedly no longer romantically involved with? A cheater, for one. A liar, for second. Her ex can still reach her any time he likes and if she "hates" him that much, why is he still able and allowed put things on her mind? The opposite of love isn't hate, btw--it's indifference and she ain't there yet. Hate is just angry love. She knows she's with someone new and should be acting accordingly. Instead, she's being deceptive and is letting her ex back into her intimacy. 1
smackie9 Posted January 31, 2018 Posted January 31, 2018 She's telling you she's not emotionally ready for a relationship with YOU, but is willing to stay with you as she tries get over her ex. She doesn't want to be alone so basically she is just using you as a stepping stone to heal. I'd dump her and tell her when she has "sorted" herself out, to call you. Go no contact for awhile. 2
doyathinkso Posted January 31, 2018 Posted January 31, 2018 Be honest with her. Tell her that you are not interested in doing the "pick me dance", and to please not call you anymore until she gets her head straight. Consider yourself a free agent once more. 1
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