shellybing Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 What do you think about older men? I had a man older than my father let me know he was interested. (in a respectful way, which I can appreciate) It feels weird. I probably wont go out with him, but i would just like some opinions for future reference.
BaileyB Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 A man who is older than my father... No. For many reasons, I would not be interested in pursuing a relationship. 3
Author shellybing Posted January 30, 2018 Author Posted January 30, 2018 A man who is older than my father... No. For many reasons, I would not be interested in pursuing a relationship. what are the reasons? Mine is that it feels weird. That is all i can come up with.
Highndry Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 A man who is older than my father... No. For many reasons, I would not be interested in pursuing a relationship. For some reason that just made me laugh out loud. Anyway, it works for some folks, not for others. Do whatever makes you feel good - within reason of course. 2
Chilli Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 Don't worry l use to get that from older women all the time and nothing subtle about it either. l dunno. 2
Scarlett.O'hara Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 Some women feel attracted to much older men, whereas others don't. However there are obviously considerations that have to be taken into account if you are dating someone 20+ years older, especially if you are younger. If it makes you feels weird then it probably isn't right for you. Trust you instincts. 3
joseb Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 Who cares what others think. The important part is what you think. Are you attracted, interested? Or just feel weird. Also, how old are you? 1
Arieswoman Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 shellybing, Older than your father - nooooo, that's creepy There are advantages and disadvantages for a women getting together with an "older" man. When you are in your 20's, 30's and even 40's the age difference isn't as important (I'm talking about 10/12 years here) and you have the advantage of a man who is mature, setled, reliable and at good stage in his career, who is earning good money and able to provided a nice lifestyle. However, when you are in your late 50's and he's talking about retirement, he'll be winding down and preparing for a cut in income. Unless you have your own career you could lose the financial advantages you had earlier. Also, as men tend not to live as long as women, you could find yourself bereaved earlier than "normal". The few girls I know that married "older" men ended up as chauffers/carers/nurses as their men struggled with age-related health issues. Just some points to ponder..... 4
BluesPower Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 I get that... I have had much younger women hit on me, and it makes me feel creepy. Some are younger than my daughter, and that REALLY creeps me out. So it is understandable that you would feel the other way. My GF is a little older than me, and I say I am her boy toy, and she hates that... 5
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 My rule is that the man has to be closer to my age than to my mother's age. My dad is deceased, but he'd be the same as my mom. I'm 45 and my mom is 76, so a man older than his late fifties would be a definite no-go for me. 1
Summer08 Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 What do you think about older men? I had a man older than my father let me know he was interested. (in a respectful way, which I can appreciate) It feels weird. I probably wont go out with him, but i would just like some opinions for future reference. If the guy is older than your dad I'd say he is waaaaaaay too old. Find someone else. 2
Art_Critic Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 Who cares what others think. The important part is what you think. While I totally agree with this I also think his motives are possibly more important.. is he interested in her or just looking to get his noodle wet 5
SevenCity Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 shellybing, Older than your father - nooooo, that's creepy There are advantages and disadvantages for a women getting together with an "older" man. When you are in your 20's, 30's and even 40's the age difference isn't as important (I'm talking about 10/12 years here) and you have the advantage of a man who is mature, setled, reliable and at good stage in his career, who is earning good money and able to provided a nice lifestyle. However, when you are in your late 50's and he's talking about retirement, he'll be winding down and preparing for a cut in income. Unless you have your own career you could lose the financial advantages you had earlier. Also, as men tend not to live as long as women, you could find yourself bereaved earlier than "normal". The few girls I know that married "older" men ended up as chauffers/carers/nurses as their men struggled with age-related health issues. Just some points to ponder..... Well it seems we make good ATM machines...so there’s that. 3
central Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 As an older man, I can of course be interested in younger women for dating. However, it would not feel right or fair to pursue something permanent. Eventually I'll probably be in poor health and she would be in her prime, and - probably - regretting the relationship. It wouldn't be kind or loving to leave me at that point, but it would probably happen. Since I don't want to deal with that, and wouldn't want her to do so either, I avoid permanent relationship when there is more than 10 years difference. That said, if a younger woman wants to date me, and is doing so because she likes me and is not looking for a daddy-figure or sugar daddy, then I'll date her if I like her too. I have a woman friend who is 27 years younger than me, and for more than half our years as friends, we've also been FWB. We're very compatible - just not permanently - and we both know it. 4
BaileyB Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 (edited) what are the reasons? Mine is that it feels weird. That is all i can come up with.. Well, there is the fact that it would be really awkard to bring him home to meet my father. If you are a young woman, do you want to have a child with a man who is old enough to be their grandfather? And, I am not interested in being a young woman in a relationship with an older man who has all the health issues of an older man... I wouldn't want to be caring for my children, my parents, and my husband. But, that's making a lot of assumptions... We don't know the specifics about your situation. Perhaps, it's different. Edited January 30, 2018 by BaileyB 1
heavenonearth Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 My partner is 8 years older, that's the oldest I ever dated long-term. I have had short relations with older guys, when I was 23 I dated a 36 year old and a 45 year old, I also dated a 45 year old last year, now that I am 30. I think that's in the realm of acceptable tho. If you are 19 and dating a 45 year old, different issue... I feel... 2
Lamartine Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 I married an older man: I was in my early thirties, and he was in his early fifties. Our life was very exciting when we were dating. We traveled, ate, drank, and had a great time. We were both making a lot of money. I loved him immensely. Then, very quickly, he got old and sick. The last year and a half of our marriage was sexless. He couldn't work anymore, and I had to quit my job to care for him because I could never find nurses who would show up in time for me to get to work. We couldn't afford the big house he insisted on having anymore. I never had children and took a lot of cr** from his teenaged daughters. We divorced in July of 2016, and he died this past July. I don't know if I'll ever be the same. I don't regret marrying him, but I'd likely do it differently if I knew then what I know now. By all means, if you can live with the strong possibility that you will spend as much time as a nurse and then a widow as you spend as a wife, the go for it. Each of us has to make decisions to forward our individual happiness. Just don't let romance blind you to the reality of the situation. 10
Author shellybing Posted January 30, 2018 Author Posted January 30, 2018 Well I know the guy from a friend finder. We just Have a lot in common, a lot of the same viewpoints and such. I am not interested in him like that, but I have to shut down his references to dating and stuff when we talk. He is an all together okay person, but I don't want to go out with him. I am just wondering though because I find that a lot of men my age are so immature (34) and I really can't find a lot in common with them. Maybe sometimes, but I do tend to pursue men that a older than I am. Just not threat much older wow. He is 4 years older than my dad. like in his 50s. It's weird. I would say 10 years is the cut off for me. 1
Author shellybing Posted January 30, 2018 Author Posted January 30, 2018 My kids are almost grown. I don't really want to get married. But I just can't. I wouldn't be able to get physical.
GorillaTheater Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 My kids are almost grown. I don't really want to get married. But I just can't. I wouldn't be able to get physical. I feel like this is probably critical information, but I can't quite figure out what you mean. 1
carhill Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 Probably an Electra complex inhibition. Not uncommon. Old guy tip: We don't see what's in the mirror when looking at an attractive younger woman. We just see that woman and forget we're old guys, until rising from that chair to do something about it. Then, ouch .... Sounds like you have it figured out so go with that. Some women are OK with the older guy thing, others not. OK to be direct with the gentleman that he's too old for you for any dating consideration. We're used to rejections so no biggie. 1
Ruby Slippers Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 Since my dad is 40 years older than me, there's no way I could date someone older than him! The last man I went out with is 14 years older than me, which is the biggest age difference for me yet. Then I went through a spell with a health issue and just had surgery, so I wasn't up for dating. But he kept in touch all the while, and he took me out to dinner right before my surgery. He's been calling to check on me every couple of days. The obvious negatives are that he's older, nearing the sunset of his life, so that youthful energy is fading. The positives are that he seems very stable, knows what he wants, we have great compatibility (two water signs , both musicians, deep thinkers, a certain calm audacity about us both), he seems to have a crush on me, treats me like a queen. He still works out regularly, strong as a bull, very manly. Our first few dates were dreamy. He just kept looking for ways to make the evening even better. Since I completely took myself off the dating market, he's my only real potential at the moment. He said he wants to take me to do something special to celebrate getting through my surgery, and I said anything would be exciting after all this sitting around the house recovering He's a bit odd in that he's clearly highlighted his ability to protect and provide, but seems very sensitive to being used for that. He hinted that his wife of almost 20 years never really loved him but was using him as a meal ticket. Definitely not my style, which seems unknown and intriguing to him. We'll see. 1
LuckyM Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 As an older man, younger women are very tempting but I refrain from asking. I chat with them and I hope they don't think I am flirting. I would just assume that a much older guy could not hold her attention long or play him along and drop him whenever a younger guy comes along. Sexually, someone 20 years or more older cannot be too compatible or may lack the energy. Unless she is looking for some father figure type. But even if he spends more money on her, she may still drop him or not be happy. When women say they are lonely, that does NOT mean for anyone. It means for a peer to talk to. It's an old story, a thousand years old.
central Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 As an older man, younger women are very tempting but I refrain from asking. I chat with them and I hope they don't think I am flirting. I would just assume that a much older guy could not hold her attention long or play him along and drop him whenever a younger guy comes along. Sexually, someone 20 years or more older cannot be too compatible or may lack the energy. Unless she is looking for some father figure type. But even if he spends more money on her, she may still drop him or not be happy. When women say they are lonely, that does NOT mean for anyone. It means for a peer to talk to. It's an old story, a thousand years old. Yes, it's an old story, but your assumptions and stereotypes are wrong - they aren't true for every age gap relationship, or for every older man. If you are speaking for yourself, that's fine, but you aren't clear that you are. 1
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