ctlguy Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 The big question. Let go or hang on while having patience. My GF and I broke up because we grew complacent, fears, and honestly we stopped putting in effort. We split, then got back together but to many question marks stayed on her mind, so she split up with me after a petty argument. We love and care for each other, wanted it to work, not a lot of arguing. We used to have an amazing time and loved being around each other all the time. I self analyzed what happened and we talked about it. It was tough seeing the things we did wrong and wished we did. So its been a month and we have made little contact. Sunday, it was so ironic. We go to different churches and both of the sermons were on relationships. We mentioned it via text, and she stated I know its a heart breaking situation. Well I was supposed to go to her house and get the last of my stuff. She text me and said where it all is, but she couldnt be there when I came by, and that it is way to hard for her. I brought up at sometime the potential of trying a fresh start, and she stated I wish I could answer that right now but I cant. I left it as whenever you close that door in your heart let me know (stupid comment I know) so I can fully move on. Mind you all the while she is on match, and she admitted she did to get forget and get over us. Basically a rebound.
smackie9 Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 I think you both simply long for the old days when things were trouble free. Well you can't go back. The relationship ran it's course. It's all about letting go now, and adjusting. She's adjusting and working on letting go. Don't worry. The less you think about it, the quicker you will move on.
d0nnivain Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 You are broken up but still talking. That in & of itself causes confusion in the mind of the one who didn't want the BU. What's going on here is that she is a fundamentally nice person. That means she does not enjoy being the source of your pain. Because she still cares about you on a basic human level, she does not like seeing you upset & wishes you were over her already. In addition, she is probably a little lonely herself. You are familiar & safe. None of those things are reasons to jump back into a relationship that stopped working but it does make her nostalgic for a time when you two were good together. Again, she doesn't want YOU back but she would like to eventually find a healthy happy relationship for herself & she probably wishes the same for you. 1
BC1980 Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 Mixed signals means no signals Exactly. If it's not consistent, it's not good. Also, the mixed signals here aren't mixed. They are clear. She's doing nothing to indicate she wants to get back together. When you love someone, you see things that aren't there.
Young mind Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 Well, as other have rightly said, although not clear to you, she's using you to move on, it's not so long after the breakup and those type of words from the dumper are normal, some soothing in a way. Believe me you won't wanna be there when she eventually moves on, when all of a sudden there will be another guy in the picture, you have the chance now to call it quits, and move on with your life and top hanging around. Accept the finality of the break up and start establishing your life without her
ExpatInItaly Posted January 31, 2018 Posted January 31, 2018 My GF and I broke up because we grew complacent, fears, and honestly we stopped putting in effort. We split, then got back together but to many question marks stayed on her mind, so she split up with me after a petty argument. What were these fears about? And what doubts was she still having upon trying again before? It sounds to me like she isn't a bad person but she lost interest trying to make it work anymore. How long were you together?
jm5423 Posted February 1, 2018 Posted February 1, 2018 @Young Mind is absolutely correct. She is using you to move on. She's on match.com looking already, once she has a potential relationship lined up she will cut you loose. This exact same thing happened to me. Immediately after we broke up my ex-girlfriend was on match.com all the while giving me mixed signals about getting back together. Once she found someone she dropped me like a lead balloon. It was so painful thinking about someone else with her. It's best you go no contact and unwind your feelings now or you'll get crushed down the road.
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