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Not interested or hard to get?


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Posted

So I’m very confused as to if this girl is interested in me or not. Getting mixed signals, basically we met each other through our friends and she started flirting hard and then we were sitting on the couch together and just talking all night. Then I went to kiss her a few times and she kept pulling away and smiling, she said one time “I’m not that easy” , not sure if that means anything. Then she was sitting on top of me, playing with my hair, hands all over me and we were just talking for a while, she was messing with my phone and Facebook profile. Then we finally went upstairs into my bed and slept together(but didn’t have sex), she still wouldn’t let me kiss her. She seemed very into me at this point, then when the morning came around she kissed me when we woke up and we made out a bunch of times and continued to talk, she was wearing nothing but one of my shirts and her underwear, sitting on top of me, sleeping on me, rubbing my body all over, she seemed extremly interested. And we talked for a few more hours in the morning. She asking about my family and all that. Now I go to text her the next day and she seams very distant, taking hours to respond sometimes, I asked her to hangout that night again but she said she had a lot of homework, now later today I texted her asking if she wants to hangout sometime this week and still haven’t gotten an answer after 4+ hours. She did initiate one text message late last night. Is this girl just not interested or is she playing hard to get? I’m very confused by it.

Posted

Here is my suggestion, take it for whatever its worth.

 

Research a date, call her and invite her, if she picks up (describe the date you would like to take her on); if not leave a short message describing the date and that you would like to take her out. Stop with the texting, let her hear your voice.

 

If she doesn't call you back in 24 hours, one more phone call with a message asking her something different about your planned date (Chinese or Tex-Mex food), and that is it. No more phone calls, no more texts, that's it.

 

You'll have put the ball in her court, left two voicemails and you've done your "due diligence" to set up the next meeting/date.

  • Like 1
Posted

She's playing hard to get. What grade is she in?

 

Slow it down, blow hot and cold awhile. Make her chase you some too. If she takes 4 hours to return a text, you take 5-6. Show her that you aren't that easy either.

  • Author
Posted
She's playing hard to get. What grade is she in?

 

Slow it down, blow hot and cold awhile. Make her chase you some too. If she takes 4 hours to return a text, you take 5-6. Show her that you aren't that easy either.

 

We’re both juniors in college. It was so weird she was very into me in person and never wanted to leave my side and now shes pulling this.

Posted

Hey op, you've never heard of a cock-tease? If blue balls is your idea of fun, have at it.

  • Author
Posted
Hey op, you've never heard of a cock-tease? If blue balls is your idea of fun, have at it.

 

Thanks for the advice.

  • Author
Posted
She's playing hard to get. What grade is she in?

 

Slow it down, blow hot and cold awhile. Make her chase you some too. If she takes 4 hours to return a text, you take 5-6. Show her that you aren't that easy either.

 

Idk she still hasn’t responded, I feel like she’s not that interested.

  • Author
Posted
She's playing hard to get. What grade is she in?

 

Slow it down, blow hot and cold awhile. Make her chase you some too. If she takes 4 hours to return a text, you take 5-6. Show her that you aren't that easy either.

 

Idk she still hasn’t responded, I feel like she’s not that interested. Would it be bad if I texted her “I’m not sure if you’re playing hard to get or if you’re just not that interested, I thought we had fun together.”

Posted
Idk she still hasn’t responded, I feel like she’s not that interested.

 

Sounds like it. No one plays hard to get unless they are just in it for a ego boost. When someone likes you, the signs will be obvious. Someone looking for a serious relationship doesn't play games.

Posted

I've dealt with this hot-cold, push-pull stuff before. In my experience, one of three things (or a combination of them) is going on:

 

1. Narcissism (or looking for an ego boost)

 

2. Some form of mental illness (Bipolar, BPD, anxiety, etc.)

 

3. Substance abuse (some people behave extremely differently under the influence of alcohol or drugs)

 

Regardless, if you stick with this, you're likely in for more of the same, which is ultimately a recipe for frustration and disappointment.

 

I'd move on.

  • Like 1
Posted (edited)

If you message someone and they don’t respond or give a short response you have **one**more free card to try again. After that it is done. STOP texting, DROP interest, and ROLL on out of there

 

Anything else just looks like unabated thirst

Edited by Cookiesandough
  • Like 2
Posted

I wouldn't text her your comment, nor would I engage in ping pong texting with a near stranger. When you're attracted to someone go ahead and ask them out on a date and cut ties with anyone who gives you a vague or 'busy' response.

 

It sounds like typical validation/ego boosting behavior and any further attempts on your end would be a tiring effort for little to no return. Why give the best of yourself - your time and affection - to someone who acts like that?

  • Like 1
Posted

If a girl won’t let you make a move after displaying that kind of behavior, then she’s messing woth you and isn’t really interested. You already messed it up by sleeping with her and not doing anything. That’s an absolute no-no. You can’t recover from that. When you tried kissing her and she turned away that’s when you get up and find an excuse to leave. There are women especially in college who use people for validation/ego without any intentions of going further.

 

Also, usually when a woman says “I’m not that easy” it’s not rejection but just an indicator that you need to get her in the mood. Talking is fine and all but did you physically escalate with touching and stuff before going in for a kiss? Also, don’t be on your phone when you’re talking to her.

  • Author
Posted
If a girl won’t let you make a move after displaying that kind of behavior, then she’s messing woth you and isn’t really interested. You already messed it up by sleeping with her and not doing anything. That’s an absolute no-no. You can’t recover from that. When you tried kissing her and she turned away that’s when you get up and find an excuse to leave. There are women especially in college who use people for validation/ego without any intentions of going further.

 

Also, usually when a woman says “I’m not that easy” it’s not rejection but just an indicator that you need to get her in the mood. Talking is fine and all but did you physically escalate with touching and stuff before going in for a kiss? Also, don’t be on your phone when you’re talking to her.

 

Yea I assume at this point she’s not interested. But she did kiss me in the morning and was very talkative, she wanted to know everything about me. Seemed like she was very into me, but I guess she just wanted an ego boost, idk, she kept crawling on top of me, touching my face, kissing me, etc.

  • Author
Posted
. You already messed it up by sleeping with her and not doing anything. That’s an absolute no-no.

 

Why is that an absolute no-no. We made out a bunch, but that’s about as far as we got.

Posted

This girl sounds like a messy, loose character.

Don't even bother about her. She might be doing this with random guys all the time. You deserve better.

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