Lillyb Posted January 29, 2018 Posted January 29, 2018 Last night I sent him a Snapchat in response to the Snap he sent me yesterday. He didn't open it until the morning after, did not tell me Goodnight, or anything at all that night. And also the morning that he opened it, he didn't send me anything like an apology or whatever. He didn't message me until then and it is about to be the afternoon. Is he ghosting me since he didn't respond? He defintely did ignore my Snap... What should I do? He hasn't really done this before and yesterday we didn't talk much at all but in the late evening for a little time just exchanging some snaps..
MaleIntuition Posted January 29, 2018 Posted January 29, 2018 Snapchat is a terrible communication tool. I never know if or when I’m supposed to respond. If you are talking/chatting, he isn’t ghosting you. I think you where asked in your last thread about how old you are and how long you have been dating? Hard to answer questions without context. 1
Author Lillyb Posted January 29, 2018 Author Posted January 29, 2018 Snapchat is a terrible communication tool. I never know if or when I’m supposed to respond. If you are talking/chatting, he isn’t ghosting you. I think you where asked in your last thread about how old you are and how long you have been dating? Hard to answer questions without context. Well the reason why I thought ghosting was because he didn't respond to me when he was active and all on there. I am 18 years old and we have been dating for almost 3 months.
Author Lillyb Posted January 29, 2018 Author Posted January 29, 2018 Do you see each other? or is this a LDR? We usually see each other 2-3 times a week. But not for very long. Today we are usually supposed to meet, but I guess not if he's not answering
smackie9 Posted January 29, 2018 Posted January 29, 2018 What is not very long? An hour? and where do you see each other? at school? at work? Do you actually go out and do things together? and why so little time to see each other?
Author Lillyb Posted January 29, 2018 Author Posted January 29, 2018 What is not very long? An hour? and where do you see each other? at school? at work? Do you actually go out and do things together? and why so little time to see each other? It's quite a weird situation but we don't see each other long Because that's the only available time we have in college. My mom won't let me hang out with him asides from college, so that little time I have with him is really it. We don't get the change to go out and do things together because I have strict parents
Author Lillyb Posted January 29, 2018 Author Posted January 29, 2018 Ehm... why don't you just call him? I personally am not one for calling. It's an introverted thing.
smackie9 Posted January 29, 2018 Posted January 29, 2018 It's quite a weird situation but we don't see each other long Because that's the only available time we have in college. My mom won't let me hang out with him asides from college, so that little time I have with him is really it. We don't get the change to go out and do things together because I have strict parents Sorry but there is no way to have a relationship with someone under those circumstances. I'm sure he really likes you, but I'm taking a good guess here, he wants more than what you can give him. Call him, and have a talk so you can have closure.
Gaeta Posted January 29, 2018 Posted January 29, 2018 I personally am not one for calling. It's an introverted thing. If you like this guy you should want to hear his voice and have a laugh with him over the phone. Introvert or not, you will need to use the phone in your life, better get used to it. That being said, seeing this guy 3 times a week for an hour inside the college is not dating. I suspect he got tired of it and he's putting some distance between you 2. As long as you live under your parents roof and they pay for your education unfortunately you have to obey by their rules. It would be better you forget about dating for now and concentrate on your study and your friends. It's much more fun to be with friends at 18 than being with a boyfriend. 5
d0nnivain Posted January 29, 2018 Posted January 29, 2018 Social media is MEANINGLESS. Stop freaking out about his failure to respond on a fake platform. You two don't get to see each other often because you have strict parents. Of course he's holding back because you are being held back by your parents. If you can't even fit in some time for a proper date, when exactly do you think you are going to find time for sex? Your BF's response that he's only a "little bit" excited about the prospect of sex makes more sense now. How can he get excited about something that might not happen or when it happens will be rushed? More importantly you can't dissect his every word that way. Assuming he's a contemporary, you have to recognize that he's not a linguist & his poor word choice is a function of his age / inexperience & still evolving word choices. What would it take for your strict parents to loosen the reigns? Have you introduced your BF to them? Do they know he exists? Can he be given the opportunity to reassure them that he's a good guy? You can't assume that he won't show for your "date" later. But you will ruin things if you blow him off. Despite your preference for not calling, you need to find the courage to call. It will save the humiliation of showing up if he's planning to ghost you. It will probably give you the reassurance that you are over reacting. More importantly you have no business getting involved in an intimate relationship with a man you don't even trust enough to call. If you can't tall on the phone because you find it to be "too much" or "too scary" or whatever your issue is how the <bleep> do you think you are going to manage a conversation about exclusivity, sexual medical history or even just getting naked? Finally, being able to talk on the phone is part of growing up. Presumably you are in college with an eye toward getting a job. Having a job generally involves human interaction on the telephone & in person. Get used to it. A conversation with a BF should be easier then one with a prospective employer. 4
Iseult Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 Hey op, the people above giving advice are in their 50's and above so take it with a grain of salt when they start disparaging SNS as a communication tool or advise you to pick up the phone. They're sad floppy disks are gone. Anyway, it's obvious that he's disrespecting you by not responding for a whole half day. He probably thinks he's better than you because he's so busy with trivial stuff like sleep and school. He doesn't appreciate the fact that your emotional well-being teeters on his responses and disregards your minute-based time frame. It's nothing short of emotional abuse and you should probably start a new hashtag to call attention to it.
heavenonearth Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 Hey op, the people above giving advice are in their 50's and above so take it with a grain of salt when they start disparaging SNS as a communication tool or advise you to pick up the phone. They're sad floppy disks are gone. Anyway, it's obvious that he's disrespecting you by not responding for a whole half day. He probably thinks he's better than you because he's so busy with trivial stuff like sleep and school. He doesn't appreciate the fact that your emotional well-being teeters on his responses and disregards your minute-based time frame. It's nothing short of emotional abuse and you should probably start a new hashtag to call attention to it. Last time i checked i was 30. 2
Iseult Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 Last time i checked i was 30. Ok, 30 going on 50.
RecentChange Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 Okay..... Did she text him? Or only snap chat? You know what EVERY relationship needs? Communication and communication skills. If they can't communicate. If she is too "introverted" to text "hey you saw my snap but never responded, what's up?" Well then they do not have much of a relationship. Signed - geezer in her 30's. 4
d0nnivain Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 Hey op, the people above giving advice are in their 50's and above so take it with a grain of salt when they start disparaging SNS as a communication tool or advise you to pick up the phone. They're sad floppy disks are gone. Anyway, it's obvious that he's disrespecting you by not responding for a whole half day. He probably thinks he's better than you because he's so busy with trivial stuff like sleep and school. He doesn't appreciate the fact that your emotional well-being teeters on his responses and disregards your minute-based time frame. It's nothing short of emotional abuse and you should probably start a new hashtag to call attention to it. I really hope you are being sarcastic. Failing to respond to a message may be rude but it's hardly abusive. If you need a safe space to deal with the fact that life is rough, I can't help you. 3
whichwayisup Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 It's quite a weird situation but we don't see each other long Because that's the only available time we have in college. My mom won't let me hang out with him asides from college, so that little time I have with him is really it. We don't get the change to go out and do things together because I have strict parents Not advocating lying (well maybe a little) but at 18 years old, it's time to tell your parents you're spending an evening with "Julia". 2
Iseult Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 If you need a safe space to deal with the fact that life is rough, I can't help you. Are you trying to hurt my feelings? Because if so, you are succeeding. Fortunately, my feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal man's. -Dwight Schrute
act00 Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 You have strict parents who won't let you date...or date the man of your choosing...and you only get to see him for an hour or so three days a week at school, and probably on the sly. I'm afraid this is going to go nowhere. He wants some evenings and he wants some weekends...you are not available during normal, grownup times for a normal, grownup relationship. You're not in 7th grade anymore with a lunchtime boyfriend. You're an adult. As long as you live under their roof and they pay for your education, you'll have to suffer the consequences of their rules. I can assure you, few men will accept this "cafeteria boyfriend" situation for weeks. So your boyfriend is ghosting. He's probably 18 as well, 19, 20? He's not handling it well, and he should tell you this isn't working for him instead of blowing you off. I am sorry about this. It really hurts. Even at 18, 19, if a guy was completely unavailable outside of the hour or so three days a week at the Student Union, he would be getting the boot. More realistically, he'd lose out to the guy that was around and available without a strict household where I knew I would be hated and I could actually SPEND TIME with him on the WEEKEND when you get to stay out late and sleep in a little the next morning! Your guy probably stuck around as long as he has because he is interested in you, but nothing has changed. He's still spending Friday and Saturday alone, and let's be real, how much making out do you get when you meet at school in between classes for an hour or so three times a week? Nothing is progressing. Your parents dictate your time and availability. You are stuck with this as long as you are reliant on your parents and live under their roof. See what you can do about some freedom to date or at least go out with friends. Maybe boyfriends aren't in the cards for you right now. If you want independence, move out. Cover your own costs. Few men will tolerate weeks of "cafeteria dates" like back in Junior High/Middle School, and a girlfriend who is firmly pinned under the thumb of mom and dad that he can't even get a Friday night...oh and that curfew will have any adult male running for the hills as well. We're not in high school anymore.
Highndry Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 Are you trying to hurt my feelings? Because if so, you are succeeding. Fortunately, my feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal man's. -Dwight Schrute It's too bad your maturity doesn't follow suit. 2
ExpatInItaly Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 OP, if you are not allowed to see your boyfriend anywhere other than school, then this relationship will likely meet its end very soon. Him replying later than usual on social media may or may not be a reflection of his interest, but I can just about guarantee he won't stay patient with this arrangement much longer. His communication habits are not the biggest problem here.
Noproblem Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 If I do such behavior with someone. That means one thing and one thing only, the other person has annoyed me or hurt me or said something bad. Remember what you did and you will figure the answer.
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