jamiemm Posted January 28, 2018 Posted January 28, 2018 I met someone and things got intense fast. I fell for him hard and fast. He was two years separated following a long marriage. After a short time, he ended things with me. He told me that after coming to the realization that I could be 'the one', he realized he that he wasn't ready. And that in order for us to have a chance long term, he needed to be alone for an undetermined period of time. After initial confusion and anger, I came to understand and respect his decision and resumed dating other people. We haven't been in contact since. It's been over a year now. I know my job here is to continue to move on with my life. I'm just wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation and can share some wisdom from that. It's the second time I've really fallen for someone in over 20 years, and am having a hard time letting go of the hope he will come back.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 28, 2018 Posted January 28, 2018 I think he lied about his reason for ending things, and possibly about some other things as well. 1
Author jamiemm Posted January 28, 2018 Author Posted January 28, 2018 Can you share why you have that perspective? Given my understanding (which I gained after this experience), his behaviour appears to be pretty typical of someone who doesn't realize he's on the rebound until forced to confront it.
Author jamiemm Posted January 28, 2018 Author Posted January 28, 2018 He told me he was two years separated, and the details finalized but not signed off.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 28, 2018 Posted January 28, 2018 Can you share why you have that perspective? Given my understanding (which I gained after this experience), his behaviour appears to be pretty typical of someone who doesn't realize he's on the rebound until forced to confront it. True, but needing to be alone for an undetermined period of time in order to give your relationship a chance, and a year later, still no relationship? I'm also wondering if he was actually on the road to divorce or just saying so.
Author jamiemm Posted January 28, 2018 Author Posted January 28, 2018 I see what you are getting at. I met his family more than once - he gave me no reason not to believe the timing or circumstance. We also had mutual acquaintances. I think you are right about the time it's been - I am quite certain his feelings were genuine at the time. However, given that it's been over a year since with no contact, it's become clear those feelings were fleeting. Unfortunately, that hasn't been the case for me. I feel pretty lame continuing to hold this torch so long. We work and live in the same area. I hate/love having the anticipation of maybe/maybe not seeing him when I'm in potential proximity to him.
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