bodybuilding1 Posted January 27, 2018 Posted January 27, 2018 Hi first time poster here. Just trying to get some opinions on if this girl sees me as a friend or maybe something more. A little of the back story. Been working with here for the last 5 months and we both were in relationships at the time. I ended up breaking up with my long term gf and shes been having issues with her Bf. A few months ago at this party I drank too much and told her I liked her. She didn't say anything just stared. The next day we had plans to meet and when I showed up she said she didn't think it was a good idea because of the night before and she didn't think we should hangout anymore. At the time I was thinking well I messed up oh well. Fast forward a month later and shes still hanging out with me 1 on 1. (still with her bf at the time) One time she was using my phone and when she gave it back I noticed she had looked at my pictures of my with no shirt on (I;m really into working out so I take progression pics) and she doesn't know I know she was looking at them. Basically when you look at a picture on someones phone if you don't back out it will stay on the last picture you were looking at. She has told me before I am one of her closest friends which makes me think it might be nothing more than friendship. However last week she came over and it was getting late 11pm and she was having issues with her bf. I almost got her to stay the night but she said she didn't have her clothes for work the next day. (She knows I only have 1 bed). Long story short what are thoughts on this?
Chuck Woolery Posted January 27, 2018 Posted January 27, 2018 I find it's a great idea to abide by certain rules when dating. In this particular case, you are pursuing someone in an exclusive relationship would should be off limits. Dating someone you work with is also something I personally won't do. There's attractive people out there as we speak that you could be a first option for if you turn your focus towards them instead! 1
viatori patuit Posted January 27, 2018 Posted January 27, 2018 You over think. Just ask her. What’s the harm? Be prepared for a letdown though. She already told you no.
Author bodybuilding1 Posted January 27, 2018 Author Posted January 27, 2018 I find it's a great idea to abide by certain rules when dating. In this particular case, you are pursuing someone in an exclusive relationship would should be off limits. Dating someone you work with is also something I personally won't do. There's attractive people out there as we speak that you could be a first option for if you turn your focus towards them instead! Very good advice! It's true but it can be hard to walk away from certain things that could be or have the potential to be good.
justwhoiam Posted January 27, 2018 Posted January 27, 2018 Long story short what are thoughts on this? She's keeping her boundaries with you. She might like you, but she has a boyfriend. My suggestion is the following: Don't make any move with her. Treat her like a male friend. If she comes to your place, change t-shirt in front of her as if nothing happened. If she says anything, try to behave normally, saying she's not attracted to you, so it shouldn't affect her. Don't talk about other girls. Be vague about what you do at night. If you have one on one talks, express how you'd love to find your soulmate. Then see what happens.
justwhoiam Posted January 27, 2018 Posted January 27, 2018 You over think. Just ask her. What’s the harm? Be prepared for a letdown though. She already told you no. So what's the point? She already knows he likes her. Also, she's in a relationship, he shouldn't ask her out on a date. She needs to make herself available. The ball is on her court now.
Author bodybuilding1 Posted January 27, 2018 Author Posted January 27, 2018 So what's the point? She already knows he likes her. Also, she's in a relationship, he shouldn't ask her out on a date. She needs to make herself available. The ball is on her court now. Well I played it off as me being drunk and not meaning it which she responded with "the truth comes out when you're drunk"
smackie9 Posted January 27, 2018 Posted January 27, 2018 So if you two start having a relationship...guess what she's going to do when you two have an issue or two..... 2
KBarletta Posted January 29, 2018 Posted January 29, 2018 She's involved with someone else. Whether she's having "issues" or not is not a factor. As long as she's in a relationship, to me, she's off limits. Once that ends, then you can maybe see what might happen. But if you were to start something with her before her relationship is over, you're starting out on an awful footing for a long-term relationship and (if it were me) trust would always be an issue. Be a friend to her, but don't try to be more while she's still with someone else.
Author bodybuilding1 Posted February 4, 2018 Author Posted February 4, 2018 Just wanted to give a update on events that have happened. She came over uninvited wanting to know why I had been backing away essentially over the past week. (I stopped messaging her) I told her I didn't think we should be friends anymore because I was interested in a romantic relationship. She got pissed because she said we could still be friends but I wouldn't have it. She said she's had guys in the past tell her they like her and she remains friends. I asked her if she was single would the answer be different and she paused for about 3 seconds and said no. I then got up and left. For me right now it sucks that I lost a friend but at the same time I know what I wanted and wasn't willing to be dragged along. I honestly don't know if I made the right choice or not. 4
MaleIntuition Posted February 4, 2018 Posted February 4, 2018 I think you made the right call. Remaining “friends” with someone with whom you have a romantic interest is dishonest for both. 3
olivetree Posted February 4, 2018 Posted February 4, 2018 Just wanted to give a update on events that have happened. She came over uninvited wanting to know why I had been backing away essentially over the past week. (I stopped messaging her) I told her I didn't think we should be friends anymore because I was interested in a romantic relationship. She got pissed because she said we could still be friends but I wouldn't have it. She said she's had guys in the past tell her they like her and she remains friends. I asked her if she was single would the answer be different and she paused for about 3 seconds and said no. I then got up and left. For me right now it sucks that I lost a friend but at the same time I know what I wanted and wasn't willing to be dragged along. I honestly don't know if I made the right choice or not. You made the right decision. You prevented yourself from becoming another one of her orbiters. 3
justwhoiam Posted February 4, 2018 Posted February 4, 2018 I honestly don't know if I made the right choice or not. I think you made the right choice. It made you stand out of the crowd, and stronger. 2
phineas Posted February 4, 2018 Posted February 4, 2018 You did the right thing. she has a BF and you want more than friends. I don't know this woman but I do know plenty of women who do keep orbiters around for essentially free attention and the ego boost. also i have lol at the "you're my closest friend" she's known you for 5 months. Again, you did the right thing. also, imagine if you did get together. Do you really want to invest in a woman who will run off to a guy friend whenever you get in an argument? What happens if she doesn't have to work the next day? 2
smackie9 Posted February 4, 2018 Posted February 4, 2018 I honestly don't know if I made the right choice or not. yes YOU DID! You don't wan't to be one of those shelps that orbits around her. Friendship? Nah she's in it for the attention. Do you really want to have a relationship with a girl that keeps orbiters claiming they are just friends? You dodged a bullet my friend. 1
CommittedToThis Posted February 4, 2018 Posted February 4, 2018 Good job. Disappear on her. I recently had a woman tell me she wanted to be friends so I said, "You mean like being one of your girlfriends? We go to the ladies room together, get drunk and hang off of each other, dance together, have sleepovers, try on clothes, that kind of thing?" She didn't find it funny. My stock line with any woman I'm dating who ultimately wants to "be friends" is, "I'm interested in you romantically so being your platonic friend would frustrate me, I hope you understand. Call me if you change your mind." 2
Author bodybuilding1 Posted February 4, 2018 Author Posted February 4, 2018 yes YOU DID! You don't wan't to be one of those shelps that orbits around her. Friendship? Nah she's in it for the attention. Do you really want to have a relationship with a girl that keeps orbiters claiming they are just friends? You dodged a bullet my friend. Thanks for all the support. It really helps.
Author bodybuilding1 Posted March 14, 2018 Author Posted March 14, 2018 Hi everyone. Never thought I’d be back on this thread but I have a new update. I started dating this new girl and things have been going well. I ended up blocking the other girl who put me in the friend zone. Well today she told me in person she wanted to talk after roughly 6 weeks of no communication so i agreed. She told me she did like me more than a friend. Long story short I’m being civil with her but am sticking with the new girl I have found. Just wondering everyone’s thoughts on this is? 2
preraph Posted March 14, 2018 Posted March 14, 2018 She's already said no. If a woman has romantic interest in you, even if they're with someone, you won't get a no. You'll get a "maybe someday." I would say her interest is weak. Remember women can be perfectly happy just being friends with guys if they're not wanting more. I wouldn't make anything of the phone thing. It was a strange phone. She probably moved it by accident.
thefooloftheyear Posted March 15, 2018 Posted March 15, 2018 You absolutely did the right thing.... Unfortunately a lot of women like keeping orbiters around as a safety net, a ego boost, whatever...So you get a gf and now she says she liked you more than a friend.??..Typical garbage.... Don't give them the satisfaction...If you hung around, and waited like a little hungry puppy, maybe she'd give you a piece or try you out for a legit relationship when she got dropped on her head....But you weren't her first choice, so who needs that?? GTFOH:rolleyes: TFY
hercules22 Posted March 15, 2018 Posted March 15, 2018 stick with new girl this one will just play games even though you liked her in the past i dont think it worth going back she just loves the attention off you
CptInsano Posted March 15, 2018 Posted March 15, 2018 [...] She said she's had guys in the past tell her they like her and she remains friends. I asked her if she was single would the answer be different and she paused for about 3 seconds and said no. I then got up and left. Very direct communication, addressing clearly what you want, and leaving no doubt about what that means. That takes balls, congratulations! P.S.: There are women where an offer of friendship means truly just that, but they are not just looking for attention.
smackie9 Posted March 15, 2018 Posted March 15, 2018 Hi everyone. Never thought I’d be back on this thread but I have a new update. I started dating this new girl and things have been going well. I ended up blocking the other girl who put me in the friend zone. Well today she told me in person she wanted to talk after roughly 6 weeks of no communication so i agreed. She told me she did like me more than a friend. Long story short I’m being civil with her but am sticking with the new girl I have found. Just wondering everyone’s thoughts on this is? My thoughts? She's just full of it. What made her poke head out in interest? You have a GF. When you have a GF or women wanting to be with you, it brings up your value. This girl found out you are taken, which makes you now desirable to her. Well tough ti&s, she lost her chance. 1
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