nospam99 Posted January 27, 2018 Posted January 27, 2018 Exceptional event and coincidental with this thread being active .... Due to 'circumstances', I 'unhid' my usually hidden POF profile Wednesday evening. That opens the 'floodgates' to being selected on POF's Meet Me feature. Up until this morning I had only received 'bad' unsolicited Meet Me hits - 44 by count, mostly generally undesirable with a few otherwise desirable but geographically undesirable sprinkled in. This morning I received a Meet Me from a lovely woman I can only describe as a soulmate - pushing ALL my buttons in her profile. In rapid succession, I replied, she sent her phone #, I phoned, and we spent 40 minutes talking. She lives an hour away, beyond my 'usual' 45 minute travel limit. But everything else is a great match. We have scheduled a dinner date at a location that splits the difference. Just an example of a 'match'. Of course only time will tell how the story ends. Nevertheless she is one more woman who I owe whatever opportunity WE will have to OLD. 2
central Posted January 27, 2018 Posted January 27, 2018 Shyt ,you were a busy man. C. <sigh> Yeah, but the vast majority of those contacts were total mismatches. A great many weren't attractive to me, or had fundamental differences in beliefs or attitudes, or couldn't write a coherent sentence to save their lives. That's why so few were even worth meeting - about 5% (that's what I'd call my match rate). Of those, for about half I knew within 10 seconds there would be no second date - but it was still fun, and I met some amazing people. A few of them became lifelong friends. Being scientifically inclined, I kept a spreadsheet of everyone so I could both track my contacts, and figure out ways to identify and attract the most compatible early on. It seemed to help. 2
alphamale Posted January 27, 2018 Posted January 27, 2018 Being scientifically inclined, I kept a spreadsheet of everyone... that's sort of creepy man 3
central Posted January 27, 2018 Posted January 27, 2018 that's sort of creepy man My memory wasn't up to the task or remembering everyone who contacted me, and the outcome. Many were repeats, and I did not have to waste time on them again. 2
Chilli Posted January 27, 2018 Posted January 27, 2018 Exceptional event and coincidental with this thread being active .... Due to 'circumstances', I 'unhid' my usually hidden POF profile Wednesday evening. That opens the 'floodgates' to being selected on POF's Meet Me feature. Up until this morning I had only received 'bad' unsolicited Meet Me hits - 44 by count, mostly generally undesirable with a few otherwise desirable but geographically undesirable sprinkled in. This morning I received a Meet Me from a lovely woman I can only describe as a soulmate - pushing ALL my buttons in her profile. In rapid succession, I replied, she sent her phone #, I phoned, and we spent 40 minutes talking. She lives an hour away, beyond my 'usual' 45 minute travel limit. But everything else is a great match. We have scheduled a dinner date at a location that splits the difference. Just an example of a 'match'. Of course only time will tell how the story ends. Nevertheless she is one more woman who I owe whatever opportunity WE will have to OLD. Nice to hear nos, what a nice little bonus. But your spot on too in that we just wouldn't have met these people if not for the online thing soooo, never know eh. Great way to look at it. Good luck at dinner . 1
SevenCity Posted January 28, 2018 Posted January 28, 2018 Part of my problem in using OLD is that I do not come across nearly as well in pics and profiles as I do in real life. I hate taking pictures and rarely take any of myself. My FB profile pic is even a bit outdated now since I took it at the beginning of the summer. I just don't go around taking pics of myself. So, when I created an OLD profile, I only really had a couple crappy pics to put up there. I honestly had no idea just how important pics were to OLD at first, so I didn't think anything of it. I think a lot of guys are in the same boat I am when it comes to that sort of thing. Men on the whole just don't take all the selfies that ladies do. We don't go around taking pics of anything, period. So, when it comes time to put up some pics on our OLD profile, we don't have much to pick from. If we do take some new pics for that purpose, they will likely not be nearly as good as anything women would take, since we don't do that sort of thing often. OLD for me came down to playing the game most guys do on there. Date down and look for easy sex. Most of the women I normally date in the real world either are not on OLD sites, or they never message me back on there. OLD was only good for finding some easy lay for a boring Thursday night. Not anything I would try to use to aid in finding a relationship. I fall into the same category and agree the good ones are not on OLD. I think the answer is professional pics. They can be had for a couple hundred and likely will get you a lot more matches. I'm debating going this route as most have said I'm better looking in person. Women who use old (with associated hourly selfies) come across to me as narssasstic and attention w's and not really my type. I prefer shy reserved women. Moreover, the amount that attractive women get hit on IRL leaves me questioning why they even need OLD. Usually I find out why they are single within a few weeks. The other set is those who have the last guy who was playing hide the salami with them cut off so there is half a pic. The two best pics I have were with a girl I had dated for a few months but I feel it won't do me any favors to put up obviously cropped pics. 2
Art_Critic Posted January 28, 2018 Posted January 28, 2018 Many were repeats, and I did not have to waste time on them again. That makes sense.. Back in the day Match didn't have a way to delineate people who you had contacted before so you didn't contact them again after a rejection so I would block any person who rejected me so they wouldn't show back up in my searches and I wouldn't contact them again. Today I think they have those tools available so you don't have to do what I did. My match rate.. they didn't do swipes but I would send out about 20 emails a week and get replies from about 75% of those and made phone contact with a about half of those and some weeks I would turn those into one or 2 dates... I'm just average in looks but my profile was funny, and honest on how others viewed me in my life and came across as genuine and I was able to get dates off OLD easy... I would get about 8-10 emails a week from women and of those only a few even made it to phone contact... 2
SevenCity Posted January 28, 2018 Posted January 28, 2018 Better you than me. There is no way I would pay for professional pics just to score easier on OLD. IMO, if I had to do all that just for some girl to message me back, then I wouldn't want her to begin with. The most I ever did was hang out with a buddy of mine who was also single, and we would take pics of one another while we were out doing stuff. We both felt lame even doing that. I took some pics at the gun range that really helped my cause though. That feeling is why it's been over a year and I still haven't paid for them. It's not the money, but the "FU if I'm not good enough" feeling. Moreover, most of the ones who reach out flake anyway. But the sad truth is your pics are the most important things on your profile. The better they are, the more hits you will get. I would love to add some pics with my plethora of firearms but dating in liberal NYC would cause my match rate to go to zero if I even mentioned a gun. 2
Chilli Posted January 28, 2018 Posted January 28, 2018 Yaknow you can set your phone of camera of whatever sort up on the 10sec timer on a shelf and go stand for pics. Then just snap away until your happy with a few of them. 1
SevenCity Posted January 28, 2018 Posted January 28, 2018 Yaknow you can set your phone of camera of whatever sort up on the 10sec timer on a shelf and go stand for pics. Then just snap away until your happy with a few of them. Indeed. But you won't get the quality that a professional will take. But it's more than that. I (and enigma32) just don't like taking pictures of ourselves. Perhaps if they matched what I saw in the mirror I would. 2
Shining One Posted January 28, 2018 Posted January 28, 2018 Most of the pictures I ended up using on OLD were professional pictures, but I never paid to have professional pictures taken. They were taken at weddings, IT conferences, and for various work events. Those were the pictures my female friends recommended I use on OLD. The ones taken at weddings were the most popular. 1
SevenCity Posted January 28, 2018 Posted January 28, 2018 If those ladies are that opposed to firearms they will bail on you once they realize you have a collection at home. I would rather put myself out there as I am and let people decide right away whether they approve or not. Not true. It's funny how you can turn around a belief when a woman is interested. One girl I dated said on our second date on a Friday "I hate guns" to which I replied "I love guns". I have many". This promoted her to start asking questions about it and asking me to take her to the range on Sunday. Afterwards we had sex for the first time. We dated for 4 months but she ended up being an entitled leech, but the guns didn't turn her off. She had a great time at the range. Another one was shocked when I said I had guns but asked me to take her to the range half way through our first date (I didnt because she was showing signs of entitlement and possessiveness already. People don't like what they don't understand. Most people who say they hate guns have never even seen one and assume they are only used to kill children. 2
Philosopher Posted January 28, 2018 Posted January 28, 2018 When I was doing OLD, about a quarter of those I messaged would reply and I probably got a date about 10% of the time. However I only tended to message those whom had liked me first, which I found to be pretty rare. On both Tinder and OkCupid I would say I would get a mutual like from only 1 or 2 percentage of those whom I liked. 2
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