28 year old guy - should I completely ignore dating for about 10 years???

[Maggie4]

my hair - it's very dense now but my hairline has slightly receded and my crown has slightly thinned.

 

Why didn't you say so in the beginning? NOW it all makes sense!

[Highndry]

my hairline has slightly matured. My hair still looks very good. People love my hair - it's thick/dark/nice waves to it

 

I trim my body hair very short- I have to. I'm a hairy bastard

 

I usually wear the button up there. dunno why it was buttoned down in the pic

 

Just be yourself. Different strokes for different folks. You'll find the right one.

[LoverOfDance]

Hi OP - you're not bad looking.

 

Some people on here can be a little harsh sometimes with their critics. I would say don't get too defensive. Just look for the constructive criticism and adopt them so that you can start to see some positive changes.

 

I think the reason you come off as arrogant on here is because you're being completely honest since you're anonymous.

 

You look like a successful guy in that pic and you look like you have your life together. Maybe this is why you get more interest from older women. Older women are usually looking for men who have their sh*t together.

 

Don't worry too much about your receding hairline to be honest. I see hot bald men quite often. And don't worry too much if you're not perfect. Perfection is literally impossible to achieve. I'm sure you know this. Aim for perfection only for the purpose of achieving excellence.

[olivetree]

Any time someone reasonably attractive says that they have difficulties in dating it is always something to do with their personality.

 

Shallow things like money, looks, etc. is not the issue.

Though I personally wouldn't be attracted to your style (button up, dress pants and shoes).

I love a man in well-fitting jeans and a t-shirt.

Not too tight, not too loose.

Way more approachable and just.. hot.

 

Having your life together is great and gets you in the door.

But what most people are looking for is a genuine connection.

THAT is what makes someone want to get to know you.

Focusing on perfection takes you away from that.

[mike3838]

Yeah I just saw the picture.

 

You're probably looking at the wrong places. Try a dancing class for example. Women love men who dance.

 

Just because you have a good job and look the part doesn't guarantee you a relationship. One of my friends has a law degree and is absolutely stunning but she's been single for 7 years. Dating is about finding someone compatible, it's not a reward for having succeeded in other areas.

 

Don't worry just keep on trying =)

 

 

 

your friend is single because she refuses to put in an ounce of effort. She can create a dating profile and get a million messages a day. I will not get any replies on dating sites unless I'm okay dating someone overweight or 10 years older than me

 

cute girls my age on dating sites want someone much much much much much better looking than me

[mike3838]

Why didn't you say so in the beginning? NOW it all makes sense!

 

it's incredibly dense in the other areas so nobody ever notices

 

I'm getting surgery to have it fixed in 2 months anyways. I will have perfect male model hair

[mike3838]

Any time someone reasonably attractive says that they have difficulties in dating it is always something to do with their personality.

 

Shallow things like money, looks, etc. is not the issue.

Though I personally wouldn't be attracted to your style (button up, dress pants and shoes).

I love a man in well-fitting jeans and a t-shirt.

Not too tight, not too loose.

Way more approachable and just.. hot.

 

Having your life together is great and gets you in the door.

But what most people are looking for is a genuine connection.

THAT is what makes someone want to get to know you.

Focusing on perfection takes you away from that.

 

I don't know if you guys understand what I'm telling you. I simply don't come across any attractive women my age who want to get to know me. If I try to talk to them, they want nothing to do with me

 

I'm very confident in my ability to have s great connection and relationship with someone but I have to have a real opportunity

 

gay men and older women approach me all the time and ask me out but I never get a fraction of that attention with attractive ladies my age

[CptInsano]

I am super nice towards everyone- I have gay men who ask me out all the time and I'm super nice in turning them down.

 

That might be a hint. What men consider an attractive attribute often does not line up with a woman's perception. When I immigrated I had to change my clothing style, because gay men were hitting on me. My behavior and style were sending the wrong signal, and I was also a guy who was most comfortable around his buddies.

[mike3838]

 

I think the reason you come off as arrogant on here is because you're being completely honest since you're anonymous.

 

correct. I'm not arrogant at all in real life

 

You look like a successful guy in that pic and you look like you have your life together. Maybe this is why you get more interest from older women. Older women are usually looking for men who have their sh*t together.

 

 

so what's the difference between what girls my age want vs the older crowd???

 

I'm not boring or too high strung or anything. I'm all about having fun and a good time while being very responsible. I can party until you know 3 am on a work day, sleep for 5 hours and then crush it next day at work

[mike3838]

That might be a hint. What men consider an attractive attribute often does not line up with a woman's perception. When I immigrated I had to change my clothing style, because gay men were hitting on me. My behavior and style were sending the wrong signal, and I was also a guy who was most comfortable around his buddies.

 

 

what do you think it could be with me?

 

I posted a pic- my face and body are extremely masculine looking as you can see

I have a deep voice

all my interests and hobbies are mostly masculine (except for how much I like fashion I suppose)

my mannerisms are very masculine

 

 

Although I do love fashion, I generally wear masculine colors - black, dark blue and dark gray. Once in a while I'll wear a pink or purple shirt in summer but only as a chance of pace

[Miss Spider]

I hope you take no offense to this but my first thought was you look a bit older than your age. It might also be the beard or just that particular pic. But if you agree that might explain why you are cougar bait

[mike3838]

I hope you take no offense to this but my first thought was you look a bit older than your age. It might also be the beard or just that particular pic. But if you agree that might explain why you are cougar bait

 

 

people say I look about 32-35 in real life. Even so, why wouldn't a 27 year old girl want a 33 year old guy??

 

 

and yes I know I have super thick facial hair. I recently trimmed it down just a little bit to where you can see more of my facial features. I have a nice smile and dimple and you can see it more with less facial hair

 

 

my facial hair is actually very short there. It's really more of a stubble than beard- it just comes in so thick and dark that it looks longer than it is but I trimmed it even a little shorter

[olivetree]

I don't know if you guys understand what I'm telling you. I simply don't come across any attractive women my age who want to get to know me. If I try to talk to them, they want nothing to do with me

 

I'm very confident in my ability to have s great connection and relationship with someone but I have to have a real opportunity

 

gay men and older women approach me all the time and ask me out but I never get a fraction of that attention with attractive ladies my age

 

The way you look and act is attractive to women older than you only and not to women your age, at least in your area.

 

I'm not really sure how we are supposed to help you here... but something just doesn't add up.

 

I'm trying to say that if you're going to make a change, it's probably something personality wise... the way you start up a conversation, for example.

Maybe your tone of voice... maybe it's too intense?

Maybe you talk too fast?

Maybe you're too type A personality?

Maybe you think you come off genuine but you don't?

 

I haven't a clue because I've never interacted with you.

And though your style isn't for me, perhaps it would be for someone else.

[Versacehottie]

There's something missing here...

 

The eye roll emoji????

[mike3838]

The way you look and act is attractive to women older than you only and not to women your age, at least in your area.

 

I'm not really sure how we are supposed to help you here... but something just doesn't add up.

 

I'm trying to say that if you're going to make a change, it's probably something personality wise... the way you start up a conversation, for example.

Maybe your tone of voice... maybe it's too intense?

Maybe you talk too fast?

Maybe you're too type A personality?

Maybe you think you come off genuine but you don't?

 

I haven't a clue because I've never interacted with you.

And though your style isn't for me, perhaps it would be for someone else.

 

I try to have normal conversation in all facets

 

as far as my style goes, I generally get about 4 to 7 compliments for how I dress every night I go out

 

here's a more recent pic with the shorter facial hair

 

https://s17.postimg.org/wiy0bs4un/20180126_134447.jpg

 

 

I don't see a chance in hell how I could be successful in online dating. I'm like a 6/10 there at best. Women on dating sites are wanting a David Candy or Zach Efron

[Ruby Slippers]

I think the kind of girls you're looking for want "fun" at this time in their lives. I agree you look a little more serious and stable, which is why you're attracting older women, who are now seeking more substance than "fun".

 

I'd try dressing a little more "fun", not as serious and mature. Fitted shirt that's a little less dressy, maybe a little color.

 

Also, keep in mind that in general, women hold the dating market advantage in their 20s. This power starts to wane around 30, and men take over the upper hand in their 30s. In other words, you'll have a stronger edge and be at your peak in 5-10 years.

[d0nnivain]

I'd try dressing a little more "fun", not as serious and mature. Fitted shirt that's a little less dressy, maybe a little color.

 

 

Maybe fashion has changed but nothing about that looks dressy or serious to me. It looks casual without being sloppy. He's not wearing a suit & tie.

 

 

But Mike, try jeans & a Henley or some other non collared shirt & see if that changes anything.

[mike3838]

I think the kind of girls you're looking for want "fun" at this time in their lives. I agree you look a little more serious and stable, which is why you're attracting older women, who are now seeking more substance than "fun".

 

I'd try dressing a little more "fun", not as serious and mature. Fitted shirt that's a little less dressy, maybe a little color.

 

 

aren't most 27 or 28 year olds looking to get married soon though? the average age of marriage in my state is 28 - which means they started dating that man at like 25

 

 

Also, keep in mind that in general, women hold the dating market advantage in their 20s. This power starts to wane around 30, and men take over the upper hand in their 30s. In other words, you'll have a stronger edge and be at your peak in 5-10 years.

 

 

yep, totally aware of this. which is why I made the thread to begin with

 

with that being said, I want to start dating now. Why is this stuff so unbelievably difficult??

[Versacehottie]

You look older than 28. I'm sure, like your dad, that you won't still look the 38 that you look now when you are 48. I don't think you will age much but you definitely look older than 28 to me. I like shirt but not the way you rolled the sleeves. Actually, it says a lot how you rolled the sleeves. You were aiming for totally perfection and it comes off as uptight, stiff, not much personality because you are overly concerned with your image (and by that I mean in total).

 

And why shouldn't good looking 28 year old girls be picky--you are being picky. Same-same

[mike3838]

Maybe fashion has changed but nothing about that looks dressy or serious to me. It looks casual without being sloppy. He's not wearing a suit & tie.

 

 

But Mike, try jeans & a Henley or some other non collared shirt & see if that changes anything.

 

 

did you see the second pic with shorter facial hair?? I think I look younger with less facial hair so I cleaned it up a bit

[d0nnivain]

did you see the second pic with shorter facial hair?? I think I look younger with less facial hair so I cleaned it up a bit

 

 

No but what does facial hair have to do with whether you are wearing a collared shirt?

[Versacehottie]

just curious, are you from the chicago area? You remind of someone else that used to post here saying almost identical things.

[clia]

You've gotten a ton of advice here over the years. Have you ever taken any of it? I'm just asking because you keep coming back with the same questions and getting the same advice.

[mike3838]

 

And why shouldn't good looking 28 year old girls be picky--you are being picky. Same-same

 

so explain to me what standard I'm not satisfying

 

I'm

- extremely intelligent

- genuinely a very good person (everybody who knows me says the same thing). I'm ferociously loyal, unselfish, honest, affectionate, caring. I have old school middle eastern values ' we do anything for friends and family.

- make about a top 0.01% income for my age and I'm great with managing finances. Most guys who make good money at my age are horrible overspenders.

- in great shape, at least decent looking

- super fun lifestyle- go to the best bars, clubs, restaurants, concerts, sports events

- great family and friends. I'm all about quality interpersonal relationships

 

I don't understand what it is that I'm lacking

 

and yes i am aware that this post makes me look very arrogant or conceited but thats an honest evaluation of myself. Everything I said there people have told me about myself a million times.

[mike3838]

No but what does facial hair have to do with whether you are wearing a collared shirt?

 

 

it doesn't

 

it's more in relation to the people who said I looked much older. I feel like I look more my age with the shorter facial hair

 

as far as fashion goes. I sometimes wear a polo or a simple long sleeve shirt when I go out also but i have like 20 button downs. I love my button downs - everybody just raves and raves about how I dress