Is this petty?

[gcp]

Back story: Met an amazing woman, we dated for 6 weeks, had great chemistry and spent quite a bit of time together in those 6 weeks. Then suddenly she drops the bomb on me that she has clinical anxiety and has suffered from it for a while, has started to over think things, and is afraid shes going to get hurt again and isn't ready for a relationship. After that she went no contact with me.

 

I admit I tried for a few days to at least talk to her over the phone about everything (she dumped me over text) but got no response so I left it.

 

But, and as ridiculous as this sounds, I let her borrow some clothing items one night and she wore them home the next morning. The thing she wore has some sentimental value to me, it was a pair of PJ pants that I received from my mother, its tradition that every xmas eve we open 1 present.... and its always pjs, but I STILL have all of them and like to keep them for the memories.

 

Anyways, I hadn't seen or spoken to her in about 3 weeks and decided to send her a message simply asking if she could leave the pants on my doorstep while I was at work. I was friendly in the message. That was 2 weeks ago and I haven't heard anything or gotten them back yet.

 

I know this sounds ridiculous but I would really like them back, would it be to petty of me to send another text telling her why they are significant to me and that I am willing to pay for the shipping or let her know when i wont be home so she doesnt think its a trap to force her to see me?

 

Thanks

[d0nnivain]

No it would not be petty. She's being petty by not returning them to you. You do need to tell her WHY they are important to you if you haven't already. Do give her options on how to return them, including reimbursing her for mailing them.

 

Unfortunately I think this may be a lost cause.

[gcp]

I think I might wait a few more days and maybe send something along the lines of

 

"Hey there, I just wanted to see if there is some way we can work out getting those pants back. Like I mentioned before, I get a pair of pjs from my mother every christmas eve (told her the tradition around xmas when we were still seeing each other) and those happen to be a pair of them. I have kept them all because they are meaningful to me, and would really appreciate it if I could somehow get those back. I will be gone Mon-Thurs 5AM-5:30PM if you think it would be possible to leave them on my door step, great! If not I would be willing to pay for the shipping costs or any other options you might have I am all ears. Hope all is well, thanks."

 

I don't wanna be a jerk about his or sound petty because I for the most part have taken the moral high ground during all of this, but dang it I want those back!

[jorainbow]

I think that text is perfect - you're giving options and explanations. I'm a mum who buys my boys an Xmas t shirt for tradition every year and I know they still have them all so I understand exactly where you are coming from. I hope she does the right thing.

[ExpatInItaly]

It's not petty of you, but are you sure she's even getting your messages? Perhaps she's blocked you.

 

What will you do if she still doesn't reply to you?

[gcp]

She still follows me on Instagram and still watches all my stories. My first message was over IG and you can see if they’ve read it, which she did. So I’ll do it over that so I can know if she’s actually reading it.

 

If I don’t get them back then I’ll leave it. I’m not crazy enough to drive over to her house and ask for them back. It’s not a good look and worst case scenario she claims I’m stalking her or something, don’t wanna deal with any of that at ALL

[gcp]

I'm getting them back! She replied saying she was sorry she didn't do it earlier, she "forgot". Anyways she said she will bring them by monday or tuesday.