clueless_4ever Posted January 25, 2018 Posted January 25, 2018 (edited) I'm still new to dating and would appreciate everyone's experience and advice Just want to start a simple thread. I went on a date and noticed what might be some red flags. Let me know if you agree or disagree! 1. He kept talking about how amazing he is at his job compared to other people. But he would start off by saying "I don't mean to brag..." 2. He invited me out and is older and way more financially stable than me, but he never offered to pay and we split the total for coffee and pastries. (this one is kind of a grey area with many arguments possible) 3. He didn't laugh at any of my jokes. 4. By the end of the date, I knew everything about him and he knew nothing about me. I'd love to hear about everyone else's experience so feel free to add more! What are your red flags? And why? Edited January 25, 2018 by clueless_4ever
Miss Spider Posted January 25, 2018 Posted January 25, 2018 I'm still new to dating and would appreciate everyone's experience and advice Just want to start a simple thread. I went on a date and noticed what might be some red flags. Let me know if you agree or disagree! 1. He kept talking about how amazing he is at his job compared to other people. But he would start off by saying "I don't mean to brag..." 2. He invited me out and is older and way more financially stable than me, but he never offered to pay and we split the total for coffee and pastries. (this one is kind of a grey area with many arguments possible) 3. He didn't laugh at any of my jokes. 4. By the end of the date, I knew everything about him and he knew nothing about me. I'd love to hear about everyone else's experience so feel free to add more! What are your red flags? And why? I'd say you're right. All red flags (unless he was just trying to be funny about the first thing) He sounds pretty rude. 2
MaleIntuition Posted January 25, 2018 Posted January 25, 2018 1. Not a very good conversationalist. Perhaps he was nervous. Inexperienced at dating (which could be a good thing). Or simply narcissistic. Hard to tell. 2. Hmm. Some have very strong opinion on this one. But I mean, coffee? We aren’t talking about a fortune here... and by simply taking care of it, he would’ve made a better impression. So, not very experienced at dating. 3. You don’t share the same sense of humour. That’s not good. 4. He was probably trying to impress you. This sounds mostly like an inexperienced dater. In my opinion, you should be more on your guard (i.e looking for red flags) when you go on a date with someone who does know what he is doing.
act00 Posted January 25, 2018 Posted January 25, 2018 I had a guy who was super into a sports event on the weekend and was of course planning to watch. We planned to meet, and it was before "the big game." I asked if this was okay, and he was all up for it. I want to meet sooner over later, so I was okay with the arrangements. I asked him to choose a time since he was the one with the time constraints. He did. I chose a place. Casual, a drink or two, maybe an appetizer, nice weather, patio. He wanted to get lunch at a restaurant in the same complex. Okay. He complained the whole time. The food sucks, the environment sucks, the prices suck, every time he goes there, it sucks...dude...you PICKED this place...why?? So, yeah, there was no second date. Lots of combative attitude. 2
todreaminblue Posted January 25, 2018 Posted January 25, 2018 (edited) a guy who is unkind to waitstaff ...... gropers ..... a guy who talks to my breasts a guy who isnt really interested in me .....just my breasts... a guy who has no desire to play a word association game with me....i use this game often to test the deep waters.....in regards to personal history it can also be light hearted.....and funny....at the same time a guy who doesnt like board games.....in saying that its because im not having sex till marriage if a guy doesnt like board games...it cuts out possibly really enjoyable dates..... a guy without dreams... in eme not contiuing to date a guy......i have dealt with gropers and unkindness.adn a person who actually had only itnerest in my breasts he patted one of them like a cat......they aint cats...i actually was going to give that guy another chance.....but i met someone else who didnt pat them........deb Edited January 25, 2018 by todreaminblue 2
d0nnivain Posted January 25, 2018 Posted January 25, 2018 The above would not have made me want to run but it would convince me to pass on a 2nd date. I wanted to run when he was crass; kept talking about the 300+ first dates he'd been on; invaded my personal space / failed to maintain appropriate social space; and then started describing in detail some woman who had made out with him. Upon further reflection I suspect despite him being almost 50 that may have been one of the 1st times in life he had a make out session. 1
todreaminblue Posted January 25, 2018 Posted January 25, 2018 (edited) The above would not have made me want to run but it would convince me to pass on a 2nd date. I wanted to run when he was crass; kept talking about the 300+ first dates he'd been on; invaded my personal space / failed to maintain appropriate social space; and then started describing in detail some woman who had made out with him. Upon further reflection I suspect despite him being almost 50 that may have been one of the 1st times in life he had a make out session. i agree with you the groping and the invasiveness theres no better way to feel liek dirt than to have a man ona first date put his hands all over you uninvited and without permission...... having my breasts patted made me want to run what i actually did though was freeze .with the guy who patted them....i did after feeling totally creeped out .....remove his hand with my other arm and dropped his hand in his lap....he ignored me and did it quite a few times.....the other things i wrote i also wouldnt want to run from, like you donnivain and i would not go in for seconds either...i havent had too many runn far far away thoughts on dates.....i am normally pretty cautious before i accept date one i do normally like to know the guy as a friend...online dating and me ...catastrophe.......deb Edited January 25, 2018 by todreaminblue 2
CptInsano Posted January 25, 2018 Posted January 25, 2018 The only date I ran from was with a woman who confessed she was married, showed me family pictures, and then told me she had a hotel room for the two of us. She was also very specific on what she wanted from me. How that came about still puzzles me. 2
Maggie4 Posted January 25, 2018 Posted January 25, 2018 I don't do online dating, so my dates are within my own social circle, not complete strangers, so they tend to be not too wacky. I don't like it when the man keeps asking me questions. I know some people think that's a way to get to know someone. But it feels like an interview. 1
smackie9 Posted January 25, 2018 Posted January 25, 2018 Any negative comments, or racist comments would have me getting up and just leaving. 1
Gaeta Posted January 25, 2018 Posted January 25, 2018 I remember once I told a guy I was heading to the washroom and I ran away. We were having a coffee, he excused himself and headed to the washroom. When he came back he had a little bit of white powder under his nose and at the corner of his mouth. I pretended to head to the washroom and left the date. 4
todreaminblue Posted January 25, 2018 Posted January 25, 2018 Any negative comments, or racist comments would have me getting up and just leaving. ahh racism so ugly smackie i have to agree with you.....racism makes me throw up a little bit in my mouth......i dont find racist jokes funny either.....deb
I'veseenbetterlol Posted January 26, 2018 Posted January 26, 2018 I wouldn't run, but I would def not consider another date. I went on a date w/a guy like that. First off, he flaked on me last minute. I accepted a 2nd date (mistake). He talked all about himself and actually rushed the date because he made plans w/a friend (tacky and waste of my time). He ended up texting me the next day how crappy his trip went w/his friend and how he wished he stayed and played w/my pet (yes I brought along my pet, I was doing errands). I called him out on his **** and he got upset w/me lol. That is a huge red flag!
preraph Posted January 26, 2018 Posted January 26, 2018 Yeah, he's making a point of trying to one up you and being cheap at the same time. I'd have ran too.
mortensorchid Posted January 26, 2018 Posted January 26, 2018 I would run from someone like this. He's vain and self centered and doesn't care about you only him.
phineas Posted January 26, 2018 Posted January 26, 2018 All first date "see ya's". talks about living together gets drunk talks about all her guy friends and all the things they do for her. has more than two baby daddy's who don't pay child support. "separated" shows up 50lbs heavier than her pics and at least 5 yrs older.
Highndry Posted January 26, 2018 Posted January 26, 2018 I really like these threads because I am laughing out loud right now, shaking my head that guys even pull some of this stuff, not to mention on a first date. Going to the bathroom and doing some coke? Groping? Talking about ex-gfs or themselves the whole time and not asking about the woman? Wow, if I could be the follow-up date to these guys, I'd have to beat the ladies off of me. 1
SevenCity Posted January 26, 2018 Posted January 26, 2018 Not that I've actually run, but: - talking about exes - combative, argumentative - trying to prove how they are right and I am wrong - telling me how attraftive they are - showing up heavier/older than her pics
melonmint57 Posted January 26, 2018 Posted January 26, 2018 Three Things That Make Me Run: 1. Unable to hold an intelligent conversation 2. A guy that wants to do all the talking, but not ask any questions to learn more about me 3. After a couple dates I had a guy specifically invite me to a German Festival. Upon arriving with him he walks up to the ticket booth and buys 1 ticket for himself. After he stands back and waits while I go buy my own $8 ticket. I'm all for sharing costs, but when a guy invites me to a particular event, my feeling is the nice thing for him to do would be pay. Our previous date was at a comedy club that I suggested we visit, so I purchased 2 tickets for both of us. Needless to say, that was pretty much the end of our engagements.
Highndry Posted January 26, 2018 Posted January 26, 2018 Three Things That Make Me Run: 1. Unable to hold an intelligent conversation 2. A guy that wants to do all the talking, but not ask any questions to learn more about me 3. After a couple dates I had a guy specifically invite me to a German Festival. Upon arriving with him he walks up to the ticket booth and buys 1 ticket for himself. After he stands back and waits while I go buy my own $8 ticket. I'm all for sharing costs, but when a guy invites me to a particular event, my feeling is the nice thing for him to do would be pay. Our previous date was at a comedy club that I suggested we visit, so I purchased 2 tickets for both of us. Needless to say, that was pretty much the end of our engagements. That's disgusting. That guy has absolutely no class whatsoever, just an absolute imbecilic turd.
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