guild11 Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 Hello guys, I have a new co worker in my department. She is 23 and been working with me for about 4 month while I was supervising and became my assistant when I got promoted to department manager. I never requested for her to be my assistant, it was my bosses decision and I didn't complained since she is extremely efficient at the office. She has a boyfriend for about 5 years, he is the only boyfriend she ever had. I respect her since she is very helpful and a good person in general, she never complaines about work, and I was informed that she gets into arguments with co workers that say something bad about me. As time passed it seems that we are getting way too close, even one my collegues who is also a close friend of mine said that it getting weird since we are acting one way with each other yet differently with the rest. Lately she comes to work dressed over the top, we joked about something and she said something like "even my family know who you are :)" but didn't gave any details. She also seems to spend more time close to me and hinted multiple times that her and rest of the crew will hang out at local bar and telling things like "we are hanging together and you're not invited" jokingly. I'm afraid I might cross the line or if I'm being played. Thoughts guys ?
d0nnivain Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 She may be too naïve to understand what is happening. She is currying favor with you because you represent a sophisticated older man. Just be more conscious of your behavior. Take a step away from her. Never be alone with her behind closed doors. Don't consume alcohol with her after work. Minimize the private jokes. You can increase the distance without ruining your working relationship. Whatever you do, don't talk to her about it. Let your actions say everything. 4
Mr. Lucky Posted January 25, 2018 Posted January 25, 2018 Let your actions say everything. Bingo. I'm afraid I might cross the line or if I'm being played. Either would be a disaster if allowed to happen. You can easily create a professional distance simply by treating her like anyone else in the office. Since this will represent a change, be prepared for some moodiness. Keep her at arm's length and never mix work and play. Is this your first position as Manager? Mr. Lucky 1
BC1980 Posted January 25, 2018 Posted January 25, 2018 I was thinking the same thing too. She might be naive at that age. It's probably her first real job.
CptInsano Posted January 25, 2018 Posted January 25, 2018 It looks like something of a "work wife" situation. This is fine and not uncommon if you get along well at work. Just keep it work-related and don't push it beyond something that feels like friendship. I also think you are reading a bit too much into her behavior, especially at her young age. 1
Author guild11 Posted January 27, 2018 Author Posted January 27, 2018 (edited) Bingo. Either would be a disaster if allowed to happen. You can easily create a professional distance simply by treating her like anyone else in the office. Since this will represent a change, be prepared for some moodiness. Keep her at arm's length and never mix work and play. Is this your first position as Manager? Mr. Lucky Yes, its my 1st time running a department. I'm almost 28 and I'll be honest, I have a crush on her which I built over time and her asking me to massage her back multiple times didn't make my life easier. But any way... I decided to follow Donnvain's suggestion and it probably will save me from unwanted problems. Thank you. Edited January 27, 2018 by guild11
Mr. Lucky Posted January 28, 2018 Posted January 28, 2018 her asking me to massage her back multiple times Which I'm hoping stopped when you became her supervisor? guild11, it's a new world with (deservedly so) new rules. Be careful... Mr. Lucky 1
OceanBlues132017 Posted January 28, 2018 Posted January 28, 2018 I'm afraid I might cross the line or if I'm being played. You may not bet getting played, she may actually like you and is open in her flirtation. She is young. You may be young as well. Either way, the most important part your posted on here is the word SUBORDINATE. That is what she is at work, your subordinate. Take it from a subordinate who is in an AE with a MM at work. I have video, I have saved chats, I have THE WORLD against this man. Luckily for him, I care about him, and I'm not a person to get revenge, ruin someone's family life or career... but guess what? I could. So whatever you think is going on, whatever this girl is or isn't to you at this point at time, my advise is BE CAREFUL. Everything is recorded, everything is saved. In good times and in bad, all of this data is there and if things get bad it could be used against you. Be smart and stay at a professional level. Don't open your mouth or type anything out that can cause your future at work to be in jeopardy. I wish you the best of luck in love and happiness with little complications!
Recommended Posts