girlinNYC Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 (edited) I’ve started chatting to a guy and we seemed to have hit it off. Conversations flow, we make each other laugh, he’s been extremely complimentary etc. He has suggested a second date, nothing’s set in concrete yet but his intentions to go on another are clear. All of this may sound rather positive but I have see him interacting with new girls on social media over the last few days? He tells me that he’s a nice guy but I can’t help but feel it’s a decoy. Why would he waste mine and his time on a second date if he has a wondering eye? He’s single, he can do as he pleases, like I can, but why ask me out again if I’m not the only one on your radar? It makes no sense to me so some insight would be nice. Do I proceed or call it quits? Nothing phases me anymore Edited January 24, 2018 by girlinNYC
Miss Spider Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 If this is the same guy who told you he wants you to be his wife a week after talking online and never having met you, yes, this is a red flag, but no redder than the aforementioned behavior. It sounds like a a- typical love bomber 5
Sm12345 Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 Dating multiple people at a time has its benefits. For one, he can determine who best deserves his time instead of putting all his eggs in one basket. It can also help reduce oneites, where a potential relationship partner gets hung up on one person. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, and one date in is far too early to be thinking about exclusivity. You barely know this guy. 1
d0nnivain Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 Wandering eye? Wandering from what? You? You have been on 1 freaking date with this guy. You have no right to expect him to stop talking to or interacting with other women. You are not exclusive. You are not even "dating." You are getting to know each other. I'd be way more upset if some guy focused all his attention on me after we only went out once. So what if he's multi-dating or even thinking about it? You should NOT be the only woman on his radar. You are still in the weeding out process. Maybe you will make each other's cuts. Maybe you won't, It's way too early to tell. Since you have only been on one date get off his social media. It's a window / insight that you don't need right now. In the old days you would have no idea what he was doing or who he was talking to outside of your presence. Ignorance is bliss. Go back to that. 7
stillafool Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 Some people like to multi date until they find the one they want to be with. How else is one to know? 2
Gaeta Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 (edited) He has suggested a second date, nothing’s set in concrete yet but his intentions to go on another are clear. A man genuinely interested would not suggest a date and not book it. This man is simply dangling a carrot at you to keep you around. All of this may sound rather positive but I have see him interacting with new girls on social media over the last few days? He tells me that he’s a nice guy but I can’t help but feel it’s a decoy. Why would he waste mine and his time on a second date if he has a wondering eye? Nice guys do not need to convince others they are nice, they ARE and they act like nice guy. This guy is blowing sand in your eyes. He's all talk and no action, no he's not a 'nice' guy. He’s single, he can do as he pleases, like I can, but why ask me out again if I’m not the only one on your radar? It makes no sense to me so some insight would be nice. Do I proceed or call it quits? Nothing phases me anymore He did not really ask you out again didn't he? Continue your search and don't waste your time on this one. Edited January 24, 2018 by Gaeta 3
kendahke Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 (edited) why ask me out again if I’m not the only one on your radar? Mixed messages... Seems you're the one getting too attached. You've only gone out once. He's not your boyfriend. He's some dude you're getting to know. That's it. He owes you nothing, really, certainly not exclusivity when YOU are the one who last week said: However at the moment I feel he’s showing signs of being attached already? Leading to some clingy signs? We have only known each other a week He’s also hinted to a future with me, entailing marriage and kids. I’m not ready for a relationship at the moment, Do you think he’s becoming attached? He's just a dude you're getting to know. That's it. That's as far as your projection should take you. Right now, you should be dating others, too. Keeps you from getting serious. Edited January 24, 2018 by kendahke 3
she'stheone Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 (edited) I’ve started chatting to a guy and we seemed to have hit it off. Conversations flow, we make each other laugh, he’s been extremely complimentary etc. He has suggested a second date, nothing’s set in concrete yet but his intentions to go on another are clear. All of this may sound rather positive but I have see him interacting with new girls on social media over the last few days? He tells me that he’s a nice guy but I can’t help but feel it’s a decoy. Why would he waste mine and his time on a second date if he has a wondering eye? He’s single, he can do as he pleases, like I can, but why ask me out again if I’m not the only one on your radar? It makes no sense to me so some insight would be nice. Do I proceed or call it quits? Nothing phases me anymore Hi girlinNYC, I am sorry you are still struggling so much with your attempts at dating. Nothing phases me anymore but, clearly you ARE phased. It bothers you that someone who you liked after one date is possibly interested in other women. In a different post you were complaining that a guy was getting too clingy too fast. You are all over the board here and it comes back to your low self-esteem (which we've discussed before). Again, you should work on yourself, personal development, spiritual work. Learn to love yourself so you are not desperately searching for love from someone else. When I met the love of my life, love goddess, soulmate. I looked at, talked to and went on dates with other women. Over time, as we got closer we became exclusive. Why would I date, talk to or interact with other women? Because after only one date (in your case) I have NO IDEA of who this woman is. I have no idea if she's right for me. Sure I liked her and I could see a possible future with her but, as comedian Chris Rock says "When you meet somebody for the first time, you're not meeting them, you're meeting their representative.” We are all on our best behavior early in the dating cycle (Again, you've been on one date). We need to get to know someone better before we're ready to ONLY see them. Why would he waste mine and his time on a second date if he has a wondering eye? How can you accuse a man to have a "wandering eye" after one date? Did he commit to you? Did he say he wants to be exclusive? From your post, it's obvious the answers are no. So again, you are allowing your low self-esteem and desperate need to be loved (you do NOT love yourself, as we have discussed before) to cloud your ability to discern proper/normal behavior. Sending you much love and light Edited January 24, 2018 by she'stheone 1
clueless_4ever Posted January 25, 2018 Posted January 25, 2018 Being completely honest, you guys only went on one date so far. Him talking to other girls is not a red flag at all. It also doesn't reflect anything on you. He could be totally into you but still talk to other girls cause he doesn't know how you feel yet. I honestly wouldn't expect a guy to stop talking to other girls until discussing being exclusive. Don't overthink or worry about it!
Author girlinNYC Posted January 26, 2018 Author Posted January 26, 2018 Wandering eye? Wandering from what? You? You have been on 1 freaking date with this guy. You have no right to expect him to stop talking to or interacting with other women. You are not exclusive. You are not even "dating." You are getting to know each other. I'd be way more upset if some guy focused all his attention on me after we only went out once. So what if he's multi-dating or even thinking about it? You should NOT be the only woman on his radar. You are still in the weeding out process. Maybe you will make each other's cuts. Maybe you won't, It's way too early to tell. Since you have only been on one date get off his social media. It's a window / insight that you don't need right now. In the old days you would have no idea what he was doing or who he was talking to outside of your presence. Ignorance is bliss. Go back to that. I think you’re misinterpreting. I’m not expecting him to treat us like a relationship after one date, as per what I originally said about him being single and he can do as he likes. I needed insight as to what’s normal behaviour and what isn’t, I’m new to this. That’s all
Author girlinNYC Posted January 26, 2018 Author Posted January 26, 2018 Being completely honest, you guys only went on one date so far. Him talking to other girls is not a red flag at all. It also doesn't reflect anything on you. He could be totally into you but still talk to other girls cause he doesn't know how you feel yet. I honestly wouldn't expect a guy to stop talking to other girls until discussing being exclusive. Don't overthink or worry about it! Oh no, not worried ha. I’m new to this so I’m unsure as to what normal behaviour is. I’m not expecting one date to automatically mean relationship, when borh parties are single they can do as they like. I haven’t been completely open yet with how I feel so logically I think you’re correct.
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