mushroomlol Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 Wouldyou ever do that? What if you went on dates with tat guy before and also slept with him before?
d0nnivain Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 I may travel with a truly platonic guy friend but I would never travel with an Ex-lover while in a relationship with somebody else. 10
doyathinkso Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 Well if you want to throw your current relationship in the toilet, then, ABSOLUTELY!!!!!! This is the thing to do. 3
Gaeta Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 No I would not, it would he highly disrespectful toward my BF. 7
BaileyB Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 Not if I wanted to keep my current relationship... 2
d0nnivain Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 Let's be clear though. Travel with means share a car or an airplane. Possibly stay in the same hotel. It certainly does not mean share a room or a bed. Years ago I was living with a guy. My college alma matar changed football conferences & I said I really wanted to go to the College Football Bowl game that conference attends the 1st time my team made it. My BF said sounds great; he promised me we'd go. Nobody ever thought my team would make it that first year. So I started making arrangements for me & the BF to attend. BF balked. He said he couldn't take time off, it was too expensive, blah, blah, blah. I started looking around for another friend to go with me. None of my female friends were interested. With BF's blessing I asked a few buddies if they wanted to go. That trip was about FOOTBALL. It had nothing to do with interpersonal relationships, cheating or disrespect. It ended up being 9 guys & me. I had my own room & my own bathroom in the big condo we rented together. Even my conservative dad joked that this wasn't a male / female thing. I was just the fan who couldn't pee standing up. I was just one of the guys. About the only concession that they made to my gender was we bought some wine to go along with all the beer & of our pooled money I made them buy some food. Really the food issue -- which cut into the beer budget -- was the most gender recognition / division about the whole trip. I was not allowed to complain about anybody leaving the seat up though. 1
dude360 Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 F*ck that. If she does that to you, you are getting cuckolded.
Gaeta Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 I assumed by traveling OP means vacationing. D0nnivain makes me doubt what the question really is. Is it traveling as in visiting a place together or just getting a ride with someone? 1
d0nnivain Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 I assumed by traveling OP means vacationing. D0nnivain makes me doubt what the question really is. Is it traveling as in visiting a place together or just getting a ride with someone? That is why context matters. Going on a whole week vacation with an opposite sex friend & ditching your SO is a problem. However if that trip was planned before you & the SO got together, that changes the equation too. So, mushroomlol -- can you put some more facts around this trip, please? 1
Author mushroomlol Posted January 24, 2018 Author Posted January 24, 2018 And my boyfriend is okay with it. He says he trusts me. By traveling I mean taking vacation together. It’s also traveling abroad.
Author mushroomlol Posted January 24, 2018 Author Posted January 24, 2018 That is why context matters. Going on a whole week vacation with an opposite sex friend & ditching your SO is a problem. However if that trip was planned before you & the SO got together, that changes the equation too. So, mushroomlol -- can you put some more facts around this trip, please? I am visiting my family in another country. My boyfriend (which is new) can not afford that trip this year. I was talking to that guy the other day and he says he wants to go there as well. So I said I need to ask my boyfriend first. Me and the guy friend are friends now and he says he will respect me and if my boyfriend says no he won’t travel with me. If we travel first I won’t let him meet my friends or family and prob just go to places together as like showing friends around. But we do plan on going to another country together while he visits.
d0nnivain Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 It's nice that your BF trusts you but why do you need to go now? Can't you wait & go on vacation at a different time with your BF? I would think that would be preferable. Again if your traveling companion is an EX-lover, that is a recipe for disaster. A little wine, a moonlight stroll close quarters . . . the next thing you will be saying is that "you didn't mean to kiss him; it just happened". Giant cop out. Don't put yourself in that situation. Just go visit your family by yourself. Leave the EX to his own devices. 4
kendahke Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 Wouldyou ever do that? What if you went on dates with tat guy before and also slept with him before? Would you? And my boyfriend is okay with it. He says he trusts me. Then problem solved. What is your issue here?
kendahke Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 IME, the only men who were ever OK with me traveling with someone I'd had sex with in the past are men who were having sex with other girls behind my back. Seems to me the only kind of person who is OK with this arrangement are those into cuckolding, swinging/swapping, open relationships or cheaters. The temptation after having had too many drinks (and thinking you're so desirably sexy when you're drunk) to scratch that itch with whomever is closest and certainly someone with whom you've shared a previous sexual history is a disaster just waiting to happen. It's an unforced error. 3
Gaeta Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 I am visiting my family in another country. My boyfriend (which is new) can not afford that trip this year. I was talking to that guy the other day and he says he wants to go there as well. So I said I need to ask my boyfriend first. Me and the guy friend are friends now and he says he will respect me and if my boyfriend says no he won’t travel with me. If we travel first I won’t let him meet my friends or family and prob just go to places together as like showing friends around. But we do plan on going to another country together while he visits. If my boyfriend could not travel to my home-place with me I would never ask an ex boyfriend or a male friend to make the trip with me. I'd go on my own or ask a lady friend. If I told my boyfriend I will travel with an ex-boyfriend he would probably say *ok* to appear modern and not create drama but deep down he'd be disappointed at me and at my lack of class and boundaries. It would probably change his opinion of me as well. 9
2much4 Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 I don't really get why you'd want to travel around your home country....especially if it's a family visit.... I guess it depends. Staying at the same hotel would be weird. If you're just showing him around your hometown I don't think there's anything wrong with that. As long as you pick appropriate activities like visiting churches and such If it's an ex, forget what I said. Just don't do it.
central Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 It would depend on the friend and the overall situation at the time. If I fully trusted her, I'd be okay with it if they do not share a room (not that it would prevent anything, but it would require a conscious decision to cheat). We have an open relationship, but even so there might be limits or situations where this would not be okay. It would have to be discussed first, but would normally be okay, even if sex were likely. Of course, open and poly relationships are not typical in this regard.
KBob Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 I went camping with a girl I hooked up with while traveling, when she came to visit in Canada. Nothing happened nor did I have any feeling to make something happen, but to this day I felt like it was a mistake to go on a trip alone with her while I was with a girlfriend at the time. Honestly, I am shocked she was even ok with it 1
Author mushroomlol Posted January 24, 2018 Author Posted January 24, 2018 I think I won’t do it then. It’s just weird. 3
drakon12 Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 Can you name one good reason that you would go to that vacation with an ex-lover instead of your boyfriend? I don't think you can. If he says he's okay with it, you're either hiding the fact that you guys used to bump uglies, or he's just not that into you. 2
Author mushroomlol Posted January 24, 2018 Author Posted January 24, 2018 Can you name one good reason that you would go to that vacation with an ex-lover instead of your boyfriend? I don't think you can. If he says he's okay with it, you're either hiding the fact that you guys used to bump uglies, or he's just not that into you. Like I said, I am visiting my family and that’s the main purpose. He suggests that he can visit for a week and we can travel to other nearby countries. I wasn’t planning my vacation with him. Maybe you are right that my boyfriend just doesn’t like me. Fine.
Author mushroomlol Posted January 24, 2018 Author Posted January 24, 2018 I personally just feel like it’s okay since I really trust myself and my guy friend. But at the same time, I know that even nothing happens it might still come up as an argument point later. Just have a feeling that it won’t do any good. But both my boyfriend and my guy friend say they are okay with gf traveling with other guys (that she slept with) so I am just curious if guys think differently.
Author mushroomlol Posted January 24, 2018 Author Posted January 24, 2018 If my boyfriend could not travel to my home-place with me I would never ask an ex boyfriend or a male friend to make the trip with me. I'd go on my own or ask a lady friend. If I told my boyfriend I will travel with an ex-boyfriend he would probably say *ok* to appear modern and not create drama but deep down he'd be disappointed at me and at my lack of class and boundaries. It would probably change his opinion of me as well. I really didn’t ask that guy to travel with me. He suggests he could visit for a week when I am home and we can travel somewhere else.
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