winny Posted February 2, 2018 Posted February 2, 2018 I don't think there are. I am tired of all the disappointments, truly. Whether it's OLD or otherwise, I don't think anyone wants me because I'm too weird or whatever else. I saw an old friend from my college years a few years ago and she said she thought I would never marry or have children. I didn't question her as to why she said that, I was not going to come off as offended but ... That was hurtful and I'm starting to believe it now. Someone will always find some reason or excuse as to why something can't be done when it comes to being with me. Well, my Mom was once heartless enough to say that I will never find anyone... People say such things... and it only reflects their own nature and their lack of compassion... it has absolutely nothing to do with you or your character. DONT BELIEVE SUCH NONSENSE!!! I will not tell you some crap like.... oh there is someone for everyone... I don't know that. All I can tell you is that, keep trying. Try to learn from every disappointment. Whether someone wants you or not is not a measure of your worth. If you truly believe that you deserve a great guy then you cannot let such random stupid guys and dumb friends to let you believe otherwise! Keep trying, if you want to take a break, take it... but keep trying...! 1
Popsicle Posted February 2, 2018 Posted February 2, 2018 (edited) I’d say none of the above, but if you feel like you have to choose go with #3 Edited February 2, 2018 by Popsicle
Popsicle Posted February 2, 2018 Posted February 2, 2018 All 3 have vanished. I think that's for the best. Next for all 3. It's what it is. Vanished? What does that mean. Does that mean the ignored you? Does that mean they stop initiating? Or does that mean they lack enthusiasm? To be fair, you weren’t all that enthusiastic about any of them either. I believe men pick up on these vibes.
lana-banana Posted February 2, 2018 Posted February 2, 2018 Mortensorchid, you have repeatedly said you live in a small town or isolated area. If it's really that small, then no amount of online dating or bookstore meetings are going to help. How far are you from the closest city or large town? If I were you, I'd start spending weekends or any time off in the city. The sheer numbers will work in your favor. 1
BluEyeL Posted February 2, 2018 Posted February 2, 2018 Go to meetup events in a bigger city over the weekend. But stay in OLD and have faith. Maybe your guy is out there but not available yet. Maybe he’s just going through a divorce or maybe he will move in your town three weeks from now. You have to believe. Put yourself out there so he can find you. These three guys were no good anyway and once you meet your partner you’ll see that clearly. I felt the same as you do when I was searching but the truth is my husband wasn’t really available until I met him and the timing worked perfectly. The only way not to meet him would have been if I wasn’t out there and I was hiding. Stay strong and have faith!
PrincessWarrior1 Posted February 3, 2018 Posted February 3, 2018 Be careful with the carpenter guy that is separated along with the fact that he drinks and smokes alot. Most separated guys almost always do tail spins. He is looking to have some casual fun and he is most definitely emotionally invested with his wife. Also the smoking and drinking is probably why he is separated. She got sick and tired of coming second to his first love, his vices. That is an extremely selfish lifestyle. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted February 3, 2018 Posted February 3, 2018 I don't think there are. I am tired of all the disappointments, truly. Whether it's OLD or otherwise, I don't think anyone wants me because I'm too weird or whatever else. I saw an old friend from my college years a few years ago and she said she thought I would never marry or have children. I didn't question her as to why she said that, I was not going to come off as offended but ... That was hurtful and I'm starting to believe it now. Someone will always find some reason or excuse as to why something can't be done when it comes to being with me. This doesn't mean anything. I was always pretty popular in high school and had lots V day cards every year. I wasn't interested in dating at all back then so I rejected everyone. Still, I got voted as "most likely to marry under 25". Yet I am in the same boat as you. HS stuff is dumb. 1
act00 Posted February 3, 2018 Posted February 3, 2018 I read your update, but I'm going to put out my thoughts on these three dudes anyway: Carpenter - the guy seems "real," but I wonder if he's a good match. You seem to have the most attraction to him. The thing is, how is this going to work in the long run with his admitting to drinking and smoking "a lot." He's setting the stage of "take it or leave it." You work as a home health aide and sub teach, and I question if these vices will work for you. If you smoke as well, his excessive smoking won't do well for you, and if you want to quit, or if you don't smoke, and drinking and smoking go hand-in-hand, these are going to be major issues. Smoking is going to be the deal-breaker if you don't smoke, and if he also drinks to excess regularly, there will be issues. You also have to consider the 2-year-old who will be your life. IT Guy - I think this one is a bust. Never married, no kids, angry. The fact that he has had a long-term, live-in relationship is a good sign, but he doesn't seem in a place to date or pursue anything serious if you've captured anger this early on. There's a lot under the surface. Rider - He seems the most stable and most promising, but does he drive? I don't know what region you live in, but for me, independent transportation is a deal-breaker for me. Maybe not for you. This can be a demographic issue. Can he not rent a car? He seems stable. He has good relations with the fam...though not necessarily a reason to judge if no good relations, but definitely a good sign. Hopefully once back home, you can explore more. His kids are older, and this is potentially a good thing, but even adult children can be a nightmare, so hopefully these relationships work well for you as the potential mate/stepmom...you can only date and see what happens with that. You won't necessarily take on a motherly role, but you will take on Gramma, and you will have to deal with three adult children and the family dynamics. The guy sounds like a descent guy, and hopefully 5 years out of a 25 year marriage is enough, and the kids are in a good place and working to leave the nest, as they should, but they will be a staple in your future, so those relations have to work as well as with Rider. I know how you feel, working and not having much left to go out, particularly when you spend your days caring for other people, and their families. You are exhausted, and as an aide in particular, you have to be "on your game," and can't afford to be going to work tired and slightly hungover. You've encountered three different personalities, and it seems there were good parts, and parts you can store in your memory bank as yes's and no's for future dates, personalities, and maybe you'll meet someone when you're picking out avocados in your grubbies for the guacamole for potluck...keep on. It's fun. I'm taking a break right now from actively seeking, but you never know. Just keep having fun with it. Dating older sucks. There's so much more to deal with!
Miss Spider Posted February 3, 2018 Posted February 3, 2018 (edited) I don't think there are. I am tired of all the disappointments, truly. Whether it's OLD or otherwise, I don't think anyone wants me because I'm too weird or whatever else. I saw an old friend from my college years a few years ago and she said she thought I would never marry or have children. I didn't question her as to why she said that, I was not going to come off as offended but ... That was hurtful and I'm starting to believe it now. Someone will always find some reason or excuse as to why something can't be done when it comes to being with me. Hey I feel the same way. I feel like I'm too 'quirky' (nice way of saying weird af) yet at the same time not very cool/interesting. That's a pretty out there thing for that woman to say. How would she know? I think there is someone who can appreciate you for your quirks and how different you are. Though there's one thing I think holds true - weird is way better than being bitter, jaded, tired of dating(which are often understandable feelings from continual dating disappointments/burnout). Adopting a positive attitude helps tremendously. I don't know if this applies to your dating troubles or not. Just throwing out suggestions Edited February 3, 2018 by Cookiesandough
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