Iseult Posted January 4, 2018 Posted January 4, 2018 Yeah, part of me is curious to hear what BS he’s going to send my way, so I was thinking of responding (if he does text me at all), but at the same time, I’m wondering if I should waste anymore of my time. You checked and you have your answer. I’m sure it doesn’t feel good but now you know and you’re free go on to bigger and better things. If you feel like you need a little more drama today, go watch Desperate Housewives or something. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 4, 2018 Posted January 4, 2018 I have never had this situation with a guy that was even remotely interested. 3
Miss Spider Posted January 4, 2018 Posted January 4, 2018 If someone flaked on me I'd be tempted to give them my mind as well, especially if I had to do my makeup, but what would that accomplish? Nothing because they wouldn't care. If they did, they wouldn't have done it. So just chalk it the loss and never give them a chance to do it again. I think if there's any question the day of or the night before of a date going down then people should just reschedule and say sorry theyre not sorry because I don't think it's normal to be in the dark about it. Incredibly rude. 2
purrrfectlyflawed Posted January 4, 2018 Posted January 4, 2018 (edited) My gut feeling is he is not interested. I have had a few guys do this to me when I was online dating. He’s 42. He’s either not interested or flaky. Or both. Either way too old to be playing games. I would actually just delete his number. If you do happen to hear from his flaky indecisive butt I would say it was nice meeting him And good luck. Have you seen the movie “ He’s just not that into you”? It was kinda cheesy but damn it brought up many memories and horror stories of my 20s and dating. A main point the movie makes is, if a guy wants to see you he will find a way. If a guy is interested he will find a way to see you. Everything else is just lip service. Edited January 4, 2018 by purrrfectlyflawed 1
hippychick3 Posted January 4, 2018 Posted January 4, 2018 I have never had this situation with a guy that was even remotely interested. Exactly. When a man is really interested, there is no confusion. 4
newyorker11356 Posted January 4, 2018 Posted January 4, 2018 I'd venture to say that he still has not texted back? In any case, he either found someone else (good chance), or he completely changed his mind about you. Either way, he should at least say that he doesn't want to see you anymore. Unfortunately, that's dating for you.
bachdude Posted January 4, 2018 Posted January 4, 2018 Well as the day goes on, it’s now 5pm and nearly 4 hours after my text I have not even received a response, I’m just getting pretty upset. This was a guy who kept talking about how wonderful it would be to meet up again and kept sending long texts explaining how he has a problem connecting with other women and it finally felt like he connected with me, etc., has now just disappeared. For some reason, I have a feeling he may reach out to me in the next couple of days or so and give a lame excuse like, he never heard from me or got a text... if he does try to pull that crap, do I ignore him at that point or should I actually let him know he was inconsiderate not responding? You all give such amazing advice and I appreciate it so much. I go back to read your responses just to help get things through my head. Starting to feel down and just wondering if I’ll ever meet someone decent. Look, there is always a remote (very remote) possibility that you never received a text that he sent you. But in reality, what are the odds of that happening? If I ever don’t receive a text, it’s because I just missed it, or didn’t see it. How often have you failed to received a text from a friend they claimed they sent? It seems like when it comes to dating, suddenly texting is completely unreliable! Funny that it seems to work great the rest of the time! And if he had a lot of interest in you, and he did send a text, why didn’t he give it at least one more shot to contact you? Most people will try one more time, just in case. Proceed with caution. There are a lot of guys (and gals these days) out there looking just to hook up. It’s entirely possible he has multiple women he is dating and he was focusing on another. Have a skeptical attitude towards guys who say early on you are the one they have found a connection with, etc, etc, etc. More often than not they are needy or players. He basically messed up in the early stages in a way that makes him appear less than trustworthy and respectful. If he seems to have a plausible explanation, make him really work for you. Proceed with eyes wide open and caution. He needs to make it up to you after all. And that’s my take. 1
Arieswoman Posted January 4, 2018 Posted January 4, 2018 OP, Don't put your life on hold for some half-a$$ed guy who doesn't know if he wants to date you or not. Unless you have fiirn plans a couple of days beforehand assume he's "future faking" and move on with your own plans. I can remember a time when I did OLD that I met 3 guys in the week who all said they wanted to take me out on the Sat. I booked a hair appointment, got a new outfit because I thought that surely one would come through - nope, not a peep out of any of them . I learned from that not to believe any guy who couldn't make concrete plans. I didn't ring any of them because I had no time for such unreliable people. Foeget this guy and move on. If he contacts you tell him politely that you're "busy". Next ! 1
Miss Spider Posted January 4, 2018 Posted January 4, 2018 I booked a hair appointment, got a new outfit Oh my gosh I would havewrung them all with my bare hands 1
Maggie4 Posted January 4, 2018 Posted January 4, 2018 At this point it is not good to still be wondering what to do if he should contact you again. I can't know of course, but I don't think he will.
bachdude Posted January 4, 2018 Posted January 4, 2018 (edited) Wait... missed a text? HE asked her for a date for tonight! She said yes - then he's gone silent! There's no missed text - he should have contacted her with solid details - which he didn't! He's looking consistently douchy since he asked her out. You and Arieswoman need to go back and look at her post I quoted, and then my post in response to her post, and it will all clear up for you. Particularly look at her second paragraph. I’m taking this to mean... “For some reason, I have a feeling he may reach out to me in the next couple of days or so and give a lame excuse like, he never heard from me or got a text... if he does try to pull that crap, do I ignore him at that point or should I actually let him know he was inconsiderate not responding? “ ...she is concerned he will come back and say she never got back to him about the details of the date (i.e. he sent a text and she didn’t respond). That is why I wrote what I wrote. Edited January 4, 2018 by bachdude 1
Arieswoman Posted January 4, 2018 Posted January 4, 2018 OK bachdude, it is entirely possible that a text got missed somehow.... That's why I'm not a fan of texting. When I and other girls were using OLD they got every excuse under the sun "I left a msg on your a/phone didn't you get it?" "Your 'phone was permanently enagaged" "You gave me the wrong number" "I spoke to a guy and they'd never heard of you" That's why I made it a rule never to chase guys who didn't call
bachdude Posted January 4, 2018 Posted January 4, 2018 OK bachdude, it is entirely possible that a text got missed somehow.... That's why I'm not a fan of texting. When I and other girls were using OLD they got every excuse under the sun "I left a msg on your a/phone didn't you get it?" "Your 'phone was permanently enagaged" "You gave me the wrong number" "I spoke to a guy and they'd never heard of you" That's why I made it a rule never to chase guys who didn't call Yes agree. That’s why I wrote, “But in reality, what are the odds of that happening? If I ever don’t receive a text, it’s because I just missed it, or didn’t see it. How often have you failed to received a text from a friend they claimed they sent? It seems like when it comes to dating, suddenly texting is completely unreliable! Funny that it seems to work great the rest of the time!” 2
stillafool Posted January 4, 2018 Posted January 4, 2018 Maybe his wife wouldn't give him the night off. 3
Zippy2000 Posted January 4, 2018 Posted January 4, 2018 This has happened to a couple of my girl pals. A man would initially be excited they met someone new but as time goes on they realise maybe you are not the one. Its bad manners and rude not replying but when I was in my early twenties I d ghost rather give a pathetic excuse. Ive learned to be upfront as I grew up. I'm now 43 and if I change my mind. I let them know about it by saying I don't feel it and saying thanks but no thanks. If a man can do that so early on when he first met you. Imagine what type of man or character he would be further down the line. I say you dodged a bullet Keanu Reeves Matrix style. 1
Juha Posted January 5, 2018 Posted January 5, 2018 I would not bother with this guy ever. He is an adult and acts like a child. Totally disrespectful! 1
Zippy2000 Posted January 5, 2018 Posted January 5, 2018 It makes me sad when people dont follow up what they promised. When I was younger I got played by a girl who kept on saying she was too busy, and that she would get back to me. She never did get back to me and after asking again it just didnt feel right. Im always weary when people make plans and leave it till the very last minute. It puts me off.
Author Lexxi Posted January 23, 2018 Author Posted January 23, 2018 Met this guy online and we had one date. Neither one of us is looking for anything serious, I really just want something very casual. After the first date last month, we were not able to see each other again due to our work schedules, distance and kids. He made it clear though, that he wanted to continue seeing me and texted every single day. I think after a bit though, he may have gotten frustrated that we couldn’t come up with another time to see each other. Our last texts to each other was just me greeting him Happy New Year, and he responded with “Happy New Year babe.”. We had a date set for two days later- finally- (I posted about it)... I know... I should have confirmed beforehand but I didn’t reach out until that day asking if we were still on. And he didn’t respond. I never heard from him and it’s been 3 weeks. My question is, if I really just want something sexual/casual, would it hurt for me to reach out after all this time?
Chilli Posted January 23, 2018 Posted January 23, 2018 Well , really you should've heard from him by now. But eh , you can contact him , sure , if it's done that ain't gonna make it anymore done but if it's not it might open the door again sooo. All just comes down to pride really and whether or not you feel like taking the hit if it's a no go or he doesn't answer whatever. 1
SevenCity Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 If you contact a guy, after any period of time, with the offer of NSA sex, chances are he will respond and take you up on it.
Zahara Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 We had a date set for two days later- finally- (I posted about it)... I know... I should have confirmed beforehand but I didn’t reach out until that day asking if we were still on. And he didn’t respond. I never heard from him and it’s been 3 weeks. My question is, if I really just want something sexual/casual, would it hurt for me to reach out after all this time? I wouldn't based on your past thread about this. He asked you out, you provided your availability but then never gave you any details about venue/time. The day you both were to meet, you reached out to him to confirm and he ignored you. You got upset over his behavior. Be very careful and honest as to your motives for reaching out. If he behaves the same way once you've done the deed with him, ask yourself if you'll be okay if he ignores you again moving forward. 1
Jdoublenn Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 Why would you want to? Find someone who's NOT gonna bail on you randomly to have sex with lol. The fact that its been 3 weeks of ghosting means he shouldn't even be in your mind anymore. You can find a FWB easily anywhere else im sure.
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