Didyouknow96 Posted January 23, 2018 Posted January 23, 2018 I know it must have something to do with low self esteem. Ever since high school I’ve always been attracted to skinny unkempt nerds that put 0 effort into their physical appearance. Meanwhile I am actually a fairly attractive girl that goes to the gym everyday, shaves everything, does her hair nicely, wears makeup everyday. I actually feel sort of put off when I see a guy wearing a nice outfit and who has a nice haircut. It’s like the more put together and hot the guy, the less attracted to him I am. Literally the guy I’m seeing now is pretty unhygienic, has long hair he doesn’t brush, and his whole apartment is just a mess. But it really doesn’t bother me! Even when he like farts in front of me I don’t mind. It’s really strange. I feel self conscious going to see a guy if even my nails aren’t painted...it’s like I hold myself to such a high standard but I don’t expect anything from guys. I do tend to go for skinny guys with round faces, but like as long as those qualities are there, anything else is fine. Can anyone relate??
smackie9 Posted January 23, 2018 Posted January 23, 2018 You lower your standards because of insecurity yes. You don't have to worry about them straying off.....because they have low standards of themselves. Control issue maybe? You feel empowered by your looks over these guys? That they put you on a pedestal. 1
SincereOnlineGuy Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 I don't think the answers to your questions necessarily equate to anything negative. It could be something SO simple as your having acquired your own tastes/routines/habits from family members all around you, who in turn interacted socially with people who lived to/near the same standards. Then, when (gasp) others arrived in your circles who were curiously unkempt, you were intrigued merely for their seeming uniqueness. I'm sure it is interesting to try to figure yourself out... but you don't have to... Just keep living and being yourself... and the more comfortable you are with yourself, the more well-adjusted will be the people you draw near to you.
2much4 Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 Im a bit bothered by the unhygenic part. Besides that I don't think there's anything wrong with you just because you like nerds.
salparadise Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 (edited) Perfectionism is often a mask for insecurity. You are choosing low risk guys because you don't feel up to the challenge of holding a guy who has options. Getting dumped by such a guy would be devastating, right? So you choose a guy with no options and he'll stay around... but even if he leaves, it's easy to rationalize that he wasn't much of a loss. Does the thought of falling madly in love with a drop dead gorgeous man terrify you? Or does it not even seem within the realm of possibilities? Edited January 30, 2018 by salparadise 1
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