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Would you get into a relationship with someone even if you knew it wouldn't last?

raizel

By raizel
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raizel Member

raizel

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Sounds ridiculous, but say a prophet said that if you got into a relationship with some particular person, you will fall far each other, but at some point you will have to break up. Would you date them?

 

Most of my friends said they would, but I don't understand why you would want to do that. Isn't that setting yourself up for heartbreak? Why spend so much time with someone who you are going to be with momentarily when you can spend that time finding someone who you can be with forever?

basil67 Established Member

basil67

Posted
Posted
Sounds ridiculous, but say a prophet said that if you got into a relationship with some particular person, you will fall far each other, but at some point you will have to break up. Would you date them?

 

Most of my friends said they would, but I don't understand why you would want to do that. Isn't that setting yourself up for heartbreak? Why spend so much time with someone who you are going to be with momentarily when you can spend that time finding someone who you can be with forever?

 

Yes, I would date them - because I'm a skeptic and don't believe anything a prophet would say.

 

As for finding someone you can be with forever....there is no such thing as finding someone you will be with forever. The best you can do is find someone who you *hope* you will be with forever.

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raizel Member

raizel

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Sorry, I should have phrased my question more clearly LOL Say, in a fantastical world where this kind of magic does exist, and someone was able to see into your future if you dated a particular someone, would you date them if it's foretold you'll break up? (sorry, writing isnot my strongest point)

 

but in saying that, would you go into a relationship with someone who has values/morals that don't align with yours? I mean these issues arise in the long term.

 

thanks for your input by the way!

basil67 Established Member

basil67

Posted
Posted
Sorry, I should have phrased my question more clearly LOL Say, in a fantastical world where this kind of magic does exist, and someone was able to see into your future if you dated a particular someone, would you date them if it's foretold you'll break up? (sorry, writing isnot my strongest point)

 

but in saying that, would you go into a relationship with someone who has values/morals that don't align with yours? I mean these issues arise in the long term.

 

thanks for your input by the way!

 

Well I wouldn't date someone who's morals and values didn't align with mine.

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PegNosePete Established Member

PegNosePete

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would you date them if it's foretold you'll break up?

If it's foretold that we'll break up then it's also foretold whether we'd date in the first place, so I wouldn't have a choice.

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Chilli Established Member

Chilli

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lt's incredible the way you've worded that actually , if only you could know the details of what l'm talking about here.

 

But , l've was put up against that exact thing in this last few yrs and this was after going through divorce.

She wanted to go for it, try , and so did l in all honesty , but only if we thought it could last.

So nope , l didn't want to because apparently it wouldn't, even she thought so.

But she still wanted to do it anyway where as l didn't..

Maybe if l was still 25 l would've.

Edited by Chilli
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todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

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even if i were to follow a prophet which i actually do .....i would ask god himself.....i would pray about it and find out what god wanted me to do ...prophets are men of god.......men among men.......in that word ...men..... comes imperfection.....a true prophet would ask of you that you pray and fast about decisions that mean something.......we were given agency for a reason....

 

agency was not given to us as individuals to develop an individual relationship with a prophet but to develop a trusting relationship with god...prophets are of god to guide us back home to him,to guide us through storms and mountains we cant face without help..... not to make our life decisions..our lives are built on the choices we make.....they can only offer their guidance advice and support.. they cannot choose our paths so if a prophet told me that in this world or a fantastical one.....if he didnt counsel me to pray and make my choices based on prayer and faith and go with gods grace and perhaps pray with me and over me........i wouldnt believe him to be of god... more a false or misled prophet.....

 

i would pray.....and trust god to answer me on all important life decisions including dating...i dont take dating lightly ...because hearts are involved.......

 

i would also pray about the prophet who is sent to guide me.....pray for him and about him......last thing i want to do ......is waste someones time or my own...so precious a commodity ...is our time....and that exists in all worlds....time.....fantastical or here grounded in reality..so why waste time ill talk to the man directly...the man is god......and ill ponder a prophets words .....and ask god IF they ARE TRUE..if they are ill feel it........deb

 

.

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drakon12 Established Member

drakon12

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Well, if I was in love, I'd go for it in any circumstances, to the bitter end. But that's what being in love is. If I only liked the person, I'd still give a shot. But I wouldn't expect much.

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Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

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I wouldn't. I've gotten into relationships I knew wouldn't last because I didn't know/like them. One lasted 2 days. But if it was a serious relationship where I would fell in love and was told prior it wouldn't last, no no. When I fall in love I wanna make it last.

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FilterCoffee Established Member

FilterCoffee

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No I wouldn’t. Why waste time and energy on something that’s bound to fail?

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Popsicle Established Member

Popsicle

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If he was hot and local, yes.

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raizel Member

raizel

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it is worth having a non-serious relationship? I am only 20 right now (I think that's fairly young) but I can only imagine dating someone I want to have a lasting relationship with. Is it worth the experience?

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FilterCoffee Established Member

FilterCoffee

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However, if you’re looking for something casual then it would be fine.

lovephule Established Member

lovephule

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I considered it and ultimately decided against it. Currently regret that decision. :laugh:

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raizel Member

raizel

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I considered it and ultimately decided against it. Currently regret that decision. :laugh:

why is that?

lovephule Established Member

lovephule

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why is that?

 

Might have sucked in the immediate aftermath, but would likely have made a good memory for when I'm 80.

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CptInsano Established Member

CptInsano

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Yes, I have in the past, twice actually. Both times we were extremely into each other and couldn't resist finding out how it would be. Even though the end hurt I don't regret a thing.

she'stheone Established Member

she'stheone

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Hi raizel,

 

I think this is a great question and so I will do my best to give you a great answer. :)

 

Every interaction we have with another human being is an opportunity to learn and grow.

 

I believe in the expression "It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all." (I have known my share of pain and heartbreak from ended relationships)

 

In the case of your question, there will most likely be some pain of loss when the time comes to break up. You have to ask yourself is the experience worth some upset and pain? (I know, most people would rather avoid pain at any cost, even if it means they lose out on love)

 

The reality is, we all have pain in our lives, some more and some less. In my opinion, to be able to be with someone who I love and loves me back, who I can learn and grow from/with far outweighs the pain I will experience when the time comes to end our relationship.

 

Not every breakup needs to be a heartbreaking, soul crushing experience. Sure, again, there will probably be some pain of loss and it is all part of our journey here to learn and grow.

 

Sending you much love and light

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Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

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Well the way I understood it, it was just this particular love that was predetermined not to work out. It doesn't say he can't find other loves that will

SevenCity Established Member

SevenCity

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F no.

 

Considering the pain I’ve endured for the past year and a half, if I had a time machine I would erase us from existence.

 

If I wasn’t to develop intense feelings, sure. I can learn from temporary relationships and have. But the cost of those lessons when you breakup with someone you deeply loved are just too high. Personally I don’t think we ever fully recover and are often incapable of trusting and loving again so deeply. It took me 45 years to realize this.

 

No thanks.

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RecentChange Established Member

RecentChange

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Yes I would. For a few reasons.

 

First - EVERY relationship we have. Every single one while we are on this earth WILL END.

 

Thats just reality. Now, we can hope in ends in "death do us part" but all relationships will end, that is a given.

 

Second, I don't fall in love easily, very far from it - so I wouldn't be too concerned about protecting my heart / emotions, I am good at that already.

 

So yes, I would! Just like all of my past relationships that eventually hit an expiration date - I have no regrets. I learned so much about life, about myself, about them, about relationships... I value all my past relationships and exes.

she'stheone Established Member

she'stheone

Posted
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F no.

 

Considering the pain I’ve endured for the past year and a half, if I had a time machine I would erase us from existence.

 

If I wasn’t to develop intense feelings, sure. I can learn from temporary relationships and have. But the cost of those lessons when you breakup with someone you deeply loved are just too high. Personally I don’t think we ever fully recover and are often incapable of trusting and loving again so deeply. It took me 45 years to realize this.

 

No thanks.

 

Hi SevenCity,

 

I am so sorry to hear you're still in so much pain.

 

Personally I don’t think we ever fully recover and are often incapable of trusting and loving again so deeply.

 

This is your belief and NOT an empowering one.

 

I too have personally loved and lost and had great pain from those losses. And...

 

I am presently with the love of my life and have NEVER loved anyone quite as deeply as I do her.

 

I also have had my trust broken numerous times and I trust this woman more than anyone I have ever known...ANYONE.

 

All of this was only possible by facing my pain, allowing it to come up and through me (cry a lot:p) and heal.

 

This has taken a lot of personal development and spiritual work and I needed to learn to love and trust myself again. Once we can love and trust ourselves we can then love and trust another.

 

All too often we wear our pain as a badge of honor and say "I'll never do that again" simply to avoid the pain again.

 

When we release the pain, it allows us to grow and while it may not stop new pains from happening, it can keep the pain to a minimum as the old pains we had are released and no longer triggered.

 

Sending you much love and light

dumbass2 Established Member

dumbass2

Posted
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Yes I would. Life is like a rollercoaster, full of ups and downs, twists and turns. Enjoy the ride, but sometimes you barf after the ride too.

Lamartine Established Member

Lamartine

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My answer would have been different when I was younger and less experienced. I absolutely would have dated the person to experience the thrill of being in love.

 

At this point, though, I've had enough heartbreak. I wouldn't get into a relationship that was guaranteed to hurt me no matter how fabulous the person might be. The risk is high enough without breakup being a foregone conclusion!

Standard-Fare Established Member

Standard-Fare

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Most relationships "don't last." They either lead to marriage or they don't, but even in marriage they can often lead to divorce, or the death of one partner.

 

So, if you're realistic, any relationship you start is one that very likely might "not last." That doesn't stop people from starting relationships.

 

Flawed analogy here, but consider owning a dog. When you get that dog some part of you knows that 8, or 10, if you're lucky 15 years later, you will have to deal with losing that dog. Does that mean it's not worth having the dog in the first place? Most people wouldn't say that.

 

Your post also reminds me of the movie "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind." At the end (**spoiler alert**) the two characters find each other again and start everything all over, despite the knowledge that they have already tried and failed in the past.

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