Brady_to_Moss Posted January 23, 2018 Posted January 23, 2018 So Wednesday will be our 5th date...seeing her for a month now. We have been kissing since date 2...Kiss before and a nice kiss after with some hand holding and last date we made out a bit. We both feel it but I don't know how to get more intimate. All of these dates are at restaurants as she lives with her parents still about an hour from me so it's really hard to get any time alone let alone me go over there or her over here. This upcoming weekend I sent her a txt saying do you want to come over Saturday night for a movie? She said she would get back to me about it. So not sure if she really wants that just now but the way it's been going I would say yes? But still hard to tell..
d0nnivain Posted January 23, 2018 Posted January 23, 2018 She is well aware that your request to come over & watch a movie is code for come over & have sex. 5 dates seems awfully fast to me, especially if she's still living at home because she's young. She is probably hesitating because she does not want to feel obligated. 6
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 23, 2018 Posted January 23, 2018 I agree with donnivain. She's probably no dummy and knows exactly what that means. If you've only "made out a bit" one time, she's probably not quite ready for sex. 2
basil67 Posted January 23, 2018 Posted January 23, 2018 How old are you both? How much dating experience does she have? 1
d0nnivain Posted January 23, 2018 Posted January 23, 2018 Is this the nurse from your other thread? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/search.php?searchid=31293760 Seriously she may simply not be ready for sex but she doesn't want to say that & have you disappear. You kinda put the woman in a corner.
basil67 Posted January 23, 2018 Posted January 23, 2018 Does she WANT to get more intimate with you? When you kiss, is she highly aroused and panting for more? If she's not doing this, then she's either not ready or not into you. 5
Jj66 Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 This is not rocket science. Men and women have been doing this for ages. That's why we are all here. Be prepared with protection/contraception and do what comes natural. There is no need to rush anything. Let the sexual tension build and build and build. When the time is right you will BOTH know it. You won't be able to wait to be alone so you can get your hands on each other. If you are hot and bothered enough you literally may not be able to wait to consummate it. Many times, only the fear of being arrested for public lewdness keeps couples from having sex right where they are in front of everyone. You get so sucked up in the moment the only things that exists are the two of you and your mutual and unquenchable passion for each other. At least this has been my experience.
Miss Spider Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 (edited) She's probably not that interested, sorry. Has she come up at all to visit you an hour or are you going down to visit her? Are you paying for all these dinners? I would be excited to go over to the guy's house if I liked him. I would suspect he wanted sex, because he's a guy, but I would not care and I would go by my own agenda. I would also probably see it as a great opportunity to learn more about him and kiss him Edited January 24, 2018 by Cookiesandough
Jj66 Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 She's probably not that interested, sorry. Has she come up at all to visit you an hour or are you going down to visit her? Are you paying for all these dinners? I would be excited to go over to the guy's house if I liked him. I would suspect he wanted sex, because he's a guy, but I would not care and I would go by my own agenda. I would also probably see it as a great opportunity to learn more about him and kiss him Very true. If a woman wants sex or any other physical escalation - kissing, makeout sessions, whatever- she will find a way to be alone with you. If you find yourself having to convince her she either isn't ready or isn't into you. Why would you even want to have sex with someone who didn't want you? Masturbation is more satisfying. At least you get to have sex with someone you love. 3
Sm12345 Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 Trust me, if and when she wants to sleep with you, she’ll invite herself over. Quit being such a horn dog and try getting to know her. Not her body. 4
arblaster Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 You’d be hoping to have sex on the third or fourth date if things were going well. Look, women of this age aren’t virgins saving themselves for somebody special. They’re experienced and enjoy sex just as much as men, but the decent ones want to make sure they’re going to do it with the right person. So if you’re on the fifth date and she’s still saying no, then something isn’t right, and unless she’s got a reason for making you wait longer, you’re probably better off with someone else.
BaileyB Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 Float another option out to her... let her off the hook. Pick something fun that you can do together - rock climbing, bowling, pool, etc... Go and have some fun and flirt with her. Touch her arm, and her low back... Give her a little kiss here and there... Make her want to come to your house for dinner and a movie. And, if you think she is really not ready but she still at some point agrees to come to your home... tell her dinner and a movie, nothing more serious. That may make her more comfortable... Doesn't mean you can't kiss and make out, but it takes the pressure off for "sex." Good luck! 3
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 You’d be hoping to have sex on the third or fourth date if things were going well. Look, women of this age aren’t virgins saving themselves for somebody special. They’re experienced and enjoy sex just as much as men, but the decent ones want to make sure they’re going to do it with the right person. So if you’re on the fifth date and she’s still saying no, then something isn’t right, and unless she’s got a reason for making you wait longer, you’re probably better off with someone else. Some are! And we have no idea what "this age" is in this case since he hasn't said. I just attended a wedding last year and the bride was a 46 year old virgin. On purpose. It's rare, but it does happen. 1
BaileyB Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 You’d be hoping to have sex on the third or fourth date if things were going well. Look, women of this age aren’t virgins saving themselves for somebody special. They’re experienced and enjoy sex just as much as men, but the decent ones want to make sure they’re going to do it with the right person. So if you’re on the fifth date and she’s still saying no, then something isn’t right, and unless she’s got a reason for making you wait longer, you’re probably better off with someone else. Some women, are ready for sex after the third or forth date. Not all women. It depends in part on their age and experience... to make a blanket statement like this is not correct. OP, if you like this girl, give her a little more time. Have fun with her, flirt with her, make her feel comfortable with you and it will happen, all in good time.
fred123 Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 Some women, are ready for sex after the third or forth date. Not all women. It depends in part on their age and experience... to make a blanket statement like this is not correct. OP, if you like this girl, give her a little more time. Have fun with her, flirt with her, make her feel comfortable with you and it will happen, all in good time. actually you vcan make a blanket statement like this. with my ex she was living with her parents and me with mine. we didnt have sex for 2 months. i asked her on the 4th date to come over cos my parents werent home. she said yes then flsked an hour before. she also had her house free for a week at one point and never invited me. i found out that she had ****ed a guy before me on the first night. and there was me thinking she is a slow girl and not ready. so what do you think it means if the girl im dating isnt ready to **** me in 2 months but did it so quickly with other guys? 1
d0nnivain Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 so what do you think it means if the girl im dating isnt ready to **** me in 2 months but did it so quickly with other guys? It means she thought he was sexier then she found you to be. Sorry. 3
fred123 Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 It means she thought he was sexier then she found you to be. Sorry. thats awful! so how do we as guys prevent this? such a bad feeling to feel.
d0nnivain Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 thats awful! so how do we as guys prevent this? such a bad feeling to feel. You can't. Each person gets to pick who they think is sexier. Just because a woman has sex early on with one guy doesn't mean that she is obligated to sleep with the next guy at the same pace. 2
Space Ritual Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 thats awful! so how do we as guys prevent this? such a bad feeling to feel. Find a cure for aging and baldness? Penile Implant? Working out instead of jerking off? Those are the easy answers. The hard answer is that we cannot help who we find sexy or who we want to bang. Some people may find my taste in incredibly shallow but physically gorgeous redheads with fake boobs not their cup of tea. Some May. if these questions really bother you, then the best way to get past it is to do what I do and date casually, have little to no expectation of a relationship and move on when the time comes( Hint: When they find someone they find more attractive an want to pursue that would be a good time to bail). You'll be fine. Don't go looking for a relationship and you'll be much happier. If it happens, well then great!. If it doesn't, well there's another candidate for that right around the corner. Sometimes those same women just round the corner may charge you 50 bucks an hour or more without a tip but....just sayin!
guest569 Posted January 24, 2018 Posted January 24, 2018 Sounds like she is just not ready to take that step. Especially given that you’re an hour away and only 4 dates in.
arblaster Posted January 25, 2018 Posted January 25, 2018 Some are! And we have no idea what "this age" is in this case since he hasn't said. I just attended a wedding last year and the bride was a 46 year old virgin. On purpose. It's rare, but it does happen. Sure, but you can't approach dating by hoping that your particular circumstances are something as rare as that. If they are, the other person needs to communicate those circumstances not just leave you guessing or hoping.
arblaster Posted January 25, 2018 Posted January 25, 2018 Some women, are ready for sex after the third or forth date. Not all women. It depends in part on their age and experience... to make a blanket statement like this is not correct. I've found it's very useful to take a blanket approach to dating and adjust depending on the individual. Sure, some women might not like sex on the third or fourth date and indeed might not like it at all, or not with the man in question. Either way, the onus will shift onto the woman to explain why she doesn't want sex rather than leaving the guy in limbo. If it takes her more time to "be ready" that is fine, but it cannot remain unspoken beyond about 3 or 4 dates. My general point is that nobody can reasonably expect sex before 3-4 dates. After that they can reasonably expect it, and if it isn't forthcoming there needs to be a reason and that ought to be communicated. If there is no sex and no communication, it doesn't sound - in general - like a good start to a relationship.
Author Brady_to_Moss Posted January 29, 2018 Author Posted January 29, 2018 (edited) Some women, are ready for sex after the third or forth date. Not all women. It depends in part on their age and experience... to make a blanket statement like this is not correct. OP, if you like this girl, give her a little more time. Have fun with her, flirt with her, make her feel comfortable with you and it will happen, all in good time. I am 29 she is 28. We are headed into the city Tuesday night for a Bs game. We talked the other day and she likes me...just wants to take it slow. So I will just continue with the light flirting ECT and see how it goes! Edited January 29, 2018 by Brady_to_Moss 1
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