MarkV Posted January 22, 2018 Posted January 22, 2018 Hi everyone Here is my story. Thanks for reading. Me and my girlfriend have been together for four years and have a house and a beautiful little puppy dog. Last year she was under a lot of stress at work and she had a form of a breakdown which put serious strain on us to a point where she changed into a completely different person. We re-connected and had a trip away where she FINALLY opened up to me sobbing her heart out saying she was struggling under stress/workplace anxiety and was distant towards me. We got over that blip and things were great. She got a new job, was very happy and things were moving forwards in a great way. For the last year she has had a few 'lady' problems which won't go away and this has put strain on me because she won't go to the doctors as she's scared. Me and her mum have offered to support her all the way but she still won't go. I don't mention sex to her but there has been lack of intimacy the past few months which started to chip away at me. She thinks she can sort any problems herself and always tries to be the good guy at work listening to everyone else's woes and dramas but in return doesn't look after herself. She's been distant the past month and doesn't seem interested in ANYTHING whereas she is usually so upbeat, positive and ambitious. She works in a gym and they grind her to the ground with the shifts and she's always exhausted and doesn't bring home much money. Three months ago I started my own dog training business that has really taken off and I got her a uniform etc as I told her she could have all the work she wanted so she could have a better lifestyle, more money etc. She just seems flat about that too even though she was really excited about it a few months ago. She thinks she's not good enough for me but I love the girl to pieces and I tell her that. On Saturday my nanny passed away and this hurt me. She spoke to me about it but there a real lack of support. She went for dinner with her sister and when she came home was angry (lately she seems to pick holes in everything). I told her I can't go through this again and that whatever is in her head she either needs to deal with it or open up to me about it. I'm a very open, honest, caring guy but when she has things on her mind she runs away. She packed up her stuff and moved to her parents down the road. She took our puppy so now in the space of 12 hours I lost my nan, my girlfriend and my dog,I'm broken. I saw her dad today and he said she cried herself to sleep and she said she still loves me to bits but she feels down, bored and lonely. Her job doesn't allow her to have a social life, hobbies etc. She loves dogs, hence why I've tried to get her involved with my work. We love each other deeply but she admits she suffers with anxiety and OCD. She seems low all the time and I don't know what to do now. I took my dog to work with me today but it broke my heart handing him back and going home. We last spoke yesterday morning. What do I do? I don't want to keep going through this but she's the love of my life. Thanks for reading
d0nnivain Posted January 22, 2018 Posted January 22, 2018 Your love isn't enough to fix a person who doesn't want to change. Somebody with genuine medical problems who buries her head in the sand & refuses to address them is not a suitable long term partner. I am so sorry about the death of your nanny. Go be with your family. Frankly I think your GF is a horrible person for dumping you in the immediate aftermath of your nan's death. Even if she has wanted out for a while, she couldn't have waited a week? That is just selfish & cruel. Frankly you should be pissed. Losing a pet as part of a break up is very difficult. Some how chalk it up to she needs the dog more then you do because she seems like she is in a really dark place right now. Sadly you can't love her through it. When she is ready to make positive changes in her life -- see a doctor, deal with her employment / financial situation & be a responsible adult rather than one who goes running home to mommy & daddy, she will change. Until that happens, there is nothing you can do. Let her go. Grieve for both your nan & these break up losses. Focus on growing your business. It's all you can do.
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