lurker74 Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 For what it's worth (and it may not be much), I don't subscribe the the belief that everyone who gets divorced needs years to recover. Or even a year. I agree that some people need a ton of time and I agree that some people never get over it but it's a guideline not a rule. And it also depends on how the marriage ended. I can tell you that by the time I separated, I was over my relationship with my wife. I still had stuff to process with kids, finances, and finding myself...and I had to screw everything I could for a couple/three months, but I was ready for the POTENTIAL of a relationship by just a couple months after my divorce was finalized. I'm an emotionally stable, reasonably deep thinker though so I don't know how common that is. I'm not saying that's the case here. There's literally no way for me to tell. But it seems like you should treat it like you would treat ANY relationship. Invest in it only the amount that the other side is investing and if you want more and they don't, move on. As for the part where you may get hurt...um...yeah? That's what we sign up for in the dating world. The risk of getting hurt versus the reward of growing old with just one person. Balance the risk and reward. Don't be stupid about it but don't tell yourself that there is any relationship worth its salt that doesn't come with risk. The hard part is measuring the risk. 1
Zahara Posted January 31, 2018 Posted January 31, 2018 Thanks for your input! I'm starting to mentally prepare myself to the fact he's probably never going to be what I need him to be. I'm open if he puts forward the effort to actually get to know me but, I'm dropping back from it all. I put myself out there. The rest is up to him. Not waiting around that's for sure. Well, I think he's already told you what he's willing to give you. In this case only give what you get. If getting to know you entails "seeing" you for sex here and there and nothing more of substance, then you'll know where it's heading. Proceed with caution. Know your boundaries and when to walk away. 1
Jj66 Posted January 31, 2018 Posted January 31, 2018 He's just not that into you and doesn't have the courage to tell you because he doesn't want to find himself alone. Sorry.
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