smile Posted August 24, 2005 Posted August 24, 2005 It has been a week and a half since he last txted and three weeks since we last spoke. It has even been over a month since we last saw eachother. And somehow, someway, I just can't stop thinking about him. I miss him so much. And I know that seems hokey especically after this last year of us being broken up but seeing eachother and talking all the time. I should be angry that he could take everything we had in our relationship and try to hold onto it without commitment. Does that make sense? I should be mad that he wants his cake and wants to eat it too... but he doesnt want to help bake the damn thing. Anyway I am moving next week and then I wont ever worry about him just showing up at my window like he used to. Altho a part of me wishes that he would. But I seriously do not know what I would say or do if he did come. Maybe thats why this NC is best. SO I have time to come to terms with what I want.... right? Its just that the first few weeks were ok and I was fine, but now I just miss him more and more everyday. Random things, random smells, all remind me of him. And I feel like an idiot bc I am the one not answering him. Will there come a time when he stops contacting me? I am not sure I really want that but when he does I get all confused. WIll I know when to answer his calls or his txts? Is there anyway that he just needs to see what his life is like without me? He broke up with me and he is the one who called and initiated sex and sleep overs and long night conversations, dog walks and family dinners for the last year. Maybe he just needs to see what it really means to break up with someone? Will I ever be able to stop thinking he was the one?
Art_Critic Posted August 24, 2005 Posted August 24, 2005 If you want him to stop .. Then tell him .. simple really .. Talk to him It sounds to me that you like it .. you might even give him false impressions to keep him calling you ..
Author smile Posted August 24, 2005 Author Posted August 24, 2005 I did talk to him . I asked him in midjune to stop talking to me, I told him I needed space and this last year was great if we were getting back togetehr but awful if I was just spinning my wheels. He said he cant be what I need right now... and he is not in a place emotionally to be in a relationship (whatever) So after a week of giving me my space he calls a lot! I mean at least twice a day, doesnt leave a msg just calls. Sooo we still had our cell phone bills together and he had to come pay his half. We split the bills that day and I told him I still felt the same way as before, its all or nothing right now. And he said ok he will give me my space, but then asked me to come to his dads for dinner and asked me to hangout. I said no. Then about three more weeks go by and he calls me.. five days in a row and leaves a pathetic "i need to talk to you" msg. SO stupid me I call (worried something happened to his family or whatever) it was NOTHING. I was pissed. We got off the phone and havent spoken since. That was about a month ago. And now last week he txted me. Aside from those 2 timesI dont answer his calls or anything. And the two times we did talk he said "I have called you a lot in the last few days" and I just say "I know". I am not playing games. I have made it clear I dont want him to hang around if there is no chance of gettign back together. I cant just be his friend. I have said all of these things. Now do you think I am playing games bc I am the girl? Not all girls are like that. He broke up with me and he had a mental breakdown and instead of being awful or pushy I stood by him, yeh even when he dated his rebound... not bc I wanted to play games.. but bc I love this guy and I care about him. I did admit I liked it I said so in the post so there is no secret there. But it also confuses me . BC the guy I loved woulda meant something by it but the way he is now, everything is confusing me. Nothing makes sense anymore. But can you please tell me the false impressions I am giving him? Or is it just the fact that I am a girl who still loves this guy that I must be sending mixed signals?
samski3409 Posted August 24, 2005 Posted August 24, 2005 You love him and he's taking advantage of you being there when he's not really there for you. it's selfish of him to try and keep you on a string with no real intentions of doing anything about it. you're not sending any mix signals he know how you feel and he's using that to his advantage,whether it be to make himself feel better or whatever. don't question yourself here,it sounds like you're trying to be strong and do what's good for you.
Art_Critic Posted August 24, 2005 Posted August 24, 2005 If you don't want him to call then remember you are in control. Change your number .. Block his number.. Block his e-mail.. Threaten to call the police and file a harrasment report. This is the most important one ... DON'T ANSWER HIS CALLS ..EMAILS or anything .. Don't talk to him period.. sometimes guys don't get the hint..
upsetnhurt Posted August 24, 2005 Posted August 24, 2005 Smile, What you have to tell yourself is that by answering his calls and being there for him, in no way is that helping you get him back.....I tend to think that you see it that way and by not being there to pick up....you will push him even farther. That could not be any further from the truth. You have already shown him all of your great qualities. If he does not know what you bring to the table as of today he is so not worth another thought. Leave him be as thinking of him and being there is simply torturing yourself. Life is not so bad !
Author smile Posted August 25, 2005 Author Posted August 25, 2005 thanks guys. I feel like I am doing the right thing bc when we talk I just get all confused and feel so suffocated and trapped, and when we dont talk I feel a weight off my shoulders. But lately I have just been disillusioned with everyone and I miss him. I know it happens and I know its prob me afraid of when he is gone for good. I get that. I am just not sure how to handle it. Youre right my being there isnt helping, and it took a year for me to figure that out. I think I just made things worse. I want to be over this.. I want everything to be ok or better or whatever but his transition place sucks. I am afraid to move forward I am afriad of falling back, I am afraid of losing everything and I am afraid of remaining here stagnant and imobile. I feel like I am on the side of the pool right before you jump in... you know that feeling? Excited and scared... anticipating the cold , good and bad. I miss him. We were together over 3 years. He was my best friend and we did everything together. I partly felt like not answering him was a betrayal of some sort. I dont feel that way now.. at least not 100% anyway. Its just weird bc we were at such a happy place in our relationship.. he would tell me how happy he was and how he wasnt ever goign to leaveme . we would talk about our future and kids and whatever. Then he went on tour, had some mushrooms and decided I was the anti christ. And the sucky part is sometimes I can feel that nothing has really changed as far as him loving me.. but his head and his rationale is all messed up. And I think that is what hurts the most. Right now he isnt the same guy I dated for 3 years. Sometimes he would come back and take me out to dinner or hold my hand when we went for a walk... but the times I was there waiting for that and it didnt happen. just broke my heart. And it hurts bc I told him I would be here for him no matter what and now I just can't. And what kind of love is that? Art critic I wish I could see things as black and white as you do. I do want him to call , I want him to call and say "I love you and I am sorry" . I want him to call and say "my life just isnt the same without you". But when he does call I know that isn't what he is going to say. And so I dont answer. Because I cant ride this roller coaster with him anymore.
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