MoveOn22 Posted January 21, 2018 Posted January 21, 2018 I’ve been with this girl for 3 months. I always compliment her flirt with her touch her and she didn’t do any of that to me once since we’ve met. At the first month of dating She told shes not good at complimenting or flirting with a guy. I understood her and was ok with it at the time. Second month still nothing. 3rd month and still nothing. Never In these 3 months has she even laid a finger on me to show any affection. When I kissed her the first time, to her it was like nothing there was no emotion from her. Next day we went out I tried kissing her again in the car and she was just sitting in her seat like a robot, I would have to take my seatbelt off just to get to her side and start kissing her, she would never initiate anything. Never does she have anything to talk about, if their would be a slint moment in the car for a few seconds, she would just put on very loud music even if the car ride was 1 hr long and if i tried to ask her questions she would say nah don’t ask any questions I just wanna listener to music OR she would give a short answer and that’s it. I talked to her about this a few days later and asked her why she doesn’t show affection at all and she’s said to me shes never been like that with a guy and she still wasn’t comfortable doing these things with me and telling me she’s nowhere near that level and and that it’s taking to far for her to just lean towards me to kiss or lay on me in the movies and stuff like that. She told me these things will come in time. Like wtf..STILL ISN’T COMFORTABLE?? And it’ll come in time?? We talk everyday on the phone and we see each other every other day. I did so much for her within these 3 months and it seems she just doesn’t give a ****. If I wanted to ask her out, sometimes she would say she don’t feel like coming out and just wanted stay home. Never in these 3 months did we do anything but eat and go home cause she doesn’t like to do anything. No activities at all. I was so patient with her I had to break it off. I honestly couldn’t handle it. She handled the break up easily and seemed like she didn’t care. The day I broke up with her she posts what she’s having for dinner on snap chat a few hours later and captions it “dinnnnner timeee” .. I removed her from all soical media the next day. I think she might’ve been a depressed girl knowing she doesn’t have a mom and she seems like she’s depressed most of the time when she was out with me and she was low on enegery at times. Her mom passed away 2 yrs ago btw. And just wanted to mention our age, I’m 26 and she’s 25. There’s so much more to it but It’ll be so long to read obviously Thank you for taking the time to read this.
SevenCity Posted January 21, 2018 Posted January 21, 2018 It's possible, but really doesn't matter. You did the right thing as I don't know anyone who would be ok with her behavior. 3
basil67 Posted January 21, 2018 Posted January 21, 2018 I reckon her behaviour could be summed up by the phrase "she wasn't that into you". Further analysis would only be speculation. The more important question is why you put up with it for so long. 4
Highndry Posted January 21, 2018 Posted January 21, 2018 What were you even getting out of the relationship? She doesn't sound like good company whatsoever.
qtntran Posted January 22, 2018 Posted January 22, 2018 I wouldn't call your ex "emotionally unavailable." She's more uninterested, unengaged, unaffectionate, and all around unavailable to be in a relationship. I know some girl are more shy to initiate physical contact (lack of experience or scared), but if she's not enjoying it or not into it, you gotta read her body language and pump the brake. The question is why were you interested in her in the first place? It sounded more like you were hoping she'll reciprocate but never did and you now you're upset that it didn't work out. All the best I guess. Good luck!
Author MoveOn22 Posted January 22, 2018 Author Posted January 22, 2018 (edited) I wouldn't call your ex "emotionally unavailable." She's more uninterested, unengaged, unaffectionate, and all around unavailable to be in a relationship. I know some girl are more shy to initiate physical contact (lack of experience or scared), but if she's not enjoying it or not into it, you gotta read her body language and pump the brake. The question is why were you interested in her in the first place? It sounded more like you were hoping she'll reciprocate but never did and you now you're upset that it didn't work out. All the best I guess. Good luck! If she wasn't interested in me, why was she going out with me for this long herself then? I've been doing some research and what I'm saying does point signs of her being emotionally unavailable. Her saying showing affection is taking it far for her wasn't normal for her to say, how can she still be shy if I'm doing all this to her and she's enjoying it, but she cant do it to me just a little? She did tell me that she liked me and that I was a great guy to be with, so I don't understand how you guys are saying she wasn't into me. I was just with her for this long thinking maybe she will change and that it was just a phase, but no nothing did change. I did want to end things earlier but I wanted to be patient as well and find out why she was like this before I ended it. After she told me she still wasn't comfortable with me by doing these things that I mentioned, that's where I snapped and said, nope I gotta end it, its not going anywhere. Edited January 22, 2018 by MoveOn22
qtntran Posted January 22, 2018 Posted January 22, 2018 If she wasn't interested in me, why was she going out with me for this long herself then? Who knows? Boredom, convenience, enjoy the attention? ...how can she still be shy if I'm doing all this to her and she's enjoying it, but she cant do it to me just a little? Because she doesn't want to PERIOD. That's her right! That doesn't automatically mean she's emotionally unavailable. She did tell me that she liked me and that I was a great guy to be with, so I don't understand how you guys are saying she wasn't into me. If that was the case when you break up with her she should've show more care right? But from her action she can care less whether or not you two are together. I was just with her for this long thinking maybe she will change and that it was just a phase, but no nothing did change. Yah, she was a bad investment of your time, an entire 3 months worth. I think you want to believe that her rejection of you as something's wrong with her rather than she wasn't into you. If so, you're entitle to your opinion and whatever help you move on faster. 1
irresolute Posted January 22, 2018 Posted January 22, 2018 I don't think emotionally unavailable. I think she just went with the motion with you because she didn't have someone better at the moment. Definitely loooks like she couldn't stand you to be honest. Great decision on breaking up with her and try to think why would you ever relate to someone that shows you how unimportant you are for them at all times
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