Author MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted August 25, 2005 Author Posted August 25, 2005 Originally posted by thegoodhubbie so glad I am married I was married for 13 yrs until last January. I'm so glad I'm NOT married LOL I'm having the time of my life.
Mz. Pixie Posted August 25, 2005 Posted August 25, 2005 You and I are alike in many ways except I'm glad I'm remarried and don't have to deal with that. I'd see both of them until I could tell for sure what I wanted, for real. If you're enjoying yourself just do that and don't put so much pressure on yourself to pick.
alphamale Posted August 25, 2005 Posted August 25, 2005 Originally posted by RecordProducer I don't like metrosexuals, nerds, guys who cook, ambitious guys (ambitious means he hasn't realized his professional success yet )... so you like old rich dudes RP? sounds like ANS syndrome....Anna Nicole Smith
noname Posted August 25, 2005 Posted August 25, 2005 stop stressing about it. i see no reason why you would have to make a decision now. neither one of them has approached you about a relationship. you have some time to get to know both of them a little better. besides, you said you are having the time of your life. why be in such a hurry to change that? are you in such a hurry for the fun to end? Originally posted by MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 What do you guys think? Should I tell guy #2 that I like him as a friend and don't think we are a good match BUT I have that "friend"! LOL : Oh God... you are probably joking. but, please don't do that. if some girl i was dating told me that, i'd probably kick her out of my house...
Author MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted August 25, 2005 Author Posted August 25, 2005 Do I need to be "approached" about having a relationship? I think some people just assume too much and that is what I'm worried about. Of course, if Guy#2 thinks we're in a relationship then he's taking me for granted cuz he sure hasn't shown me any romance!
noname Posted August 25, 2005 Posted August 25, 2005 Originally posted by MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Do I need to be "approached" about having a relationship? I think some people just assume too much and that is what I'm worried about. Of course, if Guy#2 thinks we're in a relationship then he's taking me for granted cuz he sure hasn't shown me any romance! didn't mean that you need to be approached. it's just that if you are undecided, you have some time to work it out if there are no expectations from either on of them. and they need not be assuming anything that you have not expressed to them. do you think he is capable of romance? 'cause if that is real important for you and he can't, then you need to chop him now...
Author MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted August 26, 2005 Author Posted August 26, 2005 They both called me last night. I am so undecided - fear of making a bad choice I guess. Guy#2 knows I'm free on Sat night but we are playing it by ear because he'll be with his dad in the hospital (and as usual will prob run out of steam by evening). I told Guy#1 that I don't know whether or not I'll be with my kids on the weekend (I hate lying, even half lying). Once school and the kids' activities start, I'm not going to have time to date two men! I want one guy I can call my "boyfriend" and want to be comfortable bringing him around my family and friends. I think I have a better chance of still being friends with Guy#1 if I decide to date Guy#2. I would like to spend more time getting to know Guy#2. BUT I will talk to him this weekend about "us" and "this" because I want to feel more comfortable around him. Maybe I will tell him just that....that I want to feel more comfortable around him and go from there, maybe it will be a mutual decision that we're not right for each other, or maybe we will really "talk" and see that we were meant for each other. But something's gotta give!
Gold Pile Posted August 27, 2005 Posted August 27, 2005 If you're in your 40's, why bother to get involved with a financial struggler, go with number 1, but make sure he's not another Gold Pile.
Author MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted August 27, 2005 Author Posted August 27, 2005 Originally posted by Gold Pile If you're in your 40's, why bother to get involved with a financial struggler, go with number 1, but make sure he's not another Gold Pile. Correction...I am 39 and 360/365. LOL I know that guy#1's not another GoldPile, GoldPile....Cuz I've been told about his family history and the ca$h is there. NOT that I expect him to spend it on me. I have a male friend who makes pretty good coin and buys his gf clothes and food all the time, takes her to nice dinners because he WANTS to make her happy. I can't imagine letting a guy buy me a pair of jeans or a dress ... lingerie maybe! lol I'm not as worried about being with a financial struggler as long as he keeps his debts HIS. Guy#2 and I went to a day event and it was $100 and he kinda popped out "holy crap" and I said "uh...I'll get lunch". So I paid for lunch and dinner and snacks thruout the day and I had no problem with it. He had to drive 4 hours and used his gas, so that's only fair. I love being treated and pampered, but I don't expect it. I am seeing Guy #2 tomorrow afternoon/evening....but there won't be sex (damn cycle!) I know, I know...TMO.
Gold Pile Posted August 28, 2005 Posted August 28, 2005 You're a good date! If I could pull off a semi Dutch treat, while playing up my wealth....I'd be so proud. Seems if you're still undecided about these two... spending more time with either one will likely "put you under his spell" so to speak. I've this theory that after the romance someday fades, hopefully you'll be friends enough to stay together, life together would be much easier if it isn't under pressure from financial struggle. 2 friends with all else equal, take the wealthy one. Often (almost always, almost) a 40-ish guy who is still struggling with debts, has aquired life long bad habbits with money...will only get worse. I said almost always, well aware of exceptions. Say, I'm no pile of gold, but I'm certainly better off than #2, maybe we should go on a picnic sometime. We'll split the costs..a Dutch treat.
Author MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted August 29, 2005 Author Posted August 29, 2005 I spent Sat aft/eve with Guy#2. He was not affectionate at all. We weren't connecting too well either, kind of getting on each others' nerves and the evening ended at 9:30 cuz he had a 7am tee-off. I tried to snuggle against him on the couch and he put a pillow between us....nice. I told him I didn't want to lean on a pillow...I want to lean on YOU. When he walked me to the car I got my usual hug and "peck" on the lips, only this time I did not peck back. I cried all the way home (45 min). Yesterday on the phone he said I sounded "down". I didn't think so, but he was probably referring to my mood the night before. He went on to apologize for being an ass the last 2 weeks (so he admits it!). I said I'd like to get together on Tues to talk. He feared those words and apologized again saying "you're a nice person and you didn't deserve to be treated like this...I don't know what's wrong with me....yada yada" So we are going to talk....actually I think we are going to end it. Either he has a reason for treating me this way, or I've been giving him signals that I'm not into it anymore which causes him to be that way. Either way it isn't going to work, doesn't work for me anyway, and I think if we talked things over and tried to fix it, we would end up at the same place. I'm not a talker and I need my guy to cater to me, asking if I'm okay, how I'm feeling etc etc. Guy#1 is going to give me a full body massage on my birthday on Wed night. Then we're going to have some wine in his hot tub. I think Guy#2 forgot it's my 40th birthday this week. I'm glad I put the fear into him, cuz it will make it easier...now we both have time to think and come to the realization.
alphamale Posted August 29, 2005 Posted August 29, 2005 So we are going to talk....actually I think we are going to end it. Cool! I'm rooting for #1 anyways Guy#1 is going to give me a full body massage on my birthday on Wed night. Then we're going to have some wine in his hot tub.. Will other activities be going on in the hot tub also???
Art_Critic Posted August 29, 2005 Posted August 29, 2005 Kinda sounds to me that Guy #2 has picked up on some of your Anti # 2 vibes and is starting to pull away from you.. This is one of the problems about dating 2 people at once. You can only truly be with one but you are splitting your feelings and emotions with two.. One of them is bound to pick up on it sooner or later and it looks like #2 has
Author MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted August 29, 2005 Author Posted August 29, 2005 Guy#2 was like this even before I went out on a date with Guy#1. I have actually only been with Guy#1 twice in person, but we talk alot more online. I'm not so sure there were neg vibes because I was always all over him and got no response, not for the last two weeks of this month-long thing. I think maybe both of us said something or other that rubbed the other the wrong way and maybe those vibes were picked up on. Reminds me of the last 5 yrs of my marriage! Guy#1 is the one who said sex changes things and can wait for it. So I can wait too...although I was hoping for one more romp in the hay before I hit the big 4-0hhhh.
Author MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted August 31, 2005 Author Posted August 31, 2005 We had the talk...guy#2 and I. It was more him talking giving me all the reasons why he's been moving so slowly (since the first date). I had planned exactly what I wanted to say but I wasn't as prepared as I thought. He has alot going on, which I realize, and I'm still not sure what point he was trying to get across other than asking me to be patient while he gets through this. Without getting into it here I told him that I didn't know....and now the ball is in my court as to the next step we take and he will wait for me to call. So I was worried about hurting him, at the start, but then after all he told me, I realized that I was worried about hurting myself, subconsciously knowing he wasn't ready for anything, and I really like him and like spending time with him but wasn't getting what I needed, and that hurt. I guess we will just be friends. It's my birthday today (big 4-0) and I feel like crap. Guy #1 is planning a special evening for me later on after my parents take me and the kids for dinner. I'm scared that I won't be "into it"....not that "it" means sex or anything. I hope I can buck up a smile. I did get a b-day text this morning from Guy#2 (he didn't know til i told him yesterday).
FataMorgana Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 It's my birthday today (big 4-0) and I feel like crap. Guy #1 is planning a special evening for me later on after my parents take me and the kids for dinner. I'm scared that I won't be "into it"....not that "it" means sex or anything. I hope I can buck up a smile. Well, whichever way you go, shouldn't let them spoil YOUR special day. Make the best out of it, hope you enjoy you birthday and whatever happens, happens.... there are plenty of fish out there in the sea, but you only turn 40 once so go out there and have a ball
noname Posted September 1, 2005 Posted September 1, 2005 It's my birthday today (big 4-0) \ happy friggin' birthday MWC!!! thought by your tag that you were already past that. but i guess you were planning for your future. hope you are up for "it" by the way...
Author MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted September 2, 2005 Author Posted September 2, 2005 I had an awesome evening with Guy#1. We didn't have sex but lots of foolin 'round!! I got a very nice thoughtful gift as well which was totally unexpected. Guy#2 has called me twice in the last two days and said he'd call today too. Last time we talked, when he said he needed me to be patient, and I said I wasn't sure I could (in not so many words) he said well I'll leave it to you to call me next then. So yikes, now he's calling and I'm drawn to him, and ohhhh damn back to sq 1?
Art_Critic Posted September 2, 2005 Posted September 2, 2005 IMO I think that part of the problem with not being able to chose between the 2 is that NEITHER really trip your trigger. If their was a # 3 that made you trip over your words and made you feel giddy that both 1 & 2 would be history.. Are you just settling ??
JS17 Posted September 2, 2005 Posted September 2, 2005 Glad to hear you had a HAPPY Birthday! You deserved it. My personal opinion is that if you give it time things will fall out on their own and you'll come to see which one is right for you.
Author MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted September 2, 2005 Author Posted September 2, 2005 Guy#1 makes me feel giddy. I think I am harbouring some gilt with Guy #2 though because I've been seeing so much of him in the past month. I knew guy#1 first however, and we are alot more "alike" and really became friends first (online). Guy#2 is extremely intelligent, and outgoing, and I am intimidated by that and maybe I think I want to prove to him that I'm not flaky. Deep down I know he's not the guy for me though but would love to remain friends with him. Why do I find it so hard to talk to him and tell him this? I was gonna joke about dumping them both and going for guy#3 haha but there is no #3. I'm going to the bar tonight to celebrate my bday with coworkers so maybe......j/k They are both great guys. I'm not looking for serious. Exclusive maybe, but doesn't have to be serious. I guess only time will tell.
Mz. Pixie Posted September 2, 2005 Posted September 2, 2005 I don't get it. Guy #1 sounds like the one for you. This is more fuel for Alpha's fire that women don't want to be treated nicely, you know. He's gonna be crowing for sure. Happy B Day anyway!
Art_Critic Posted September 2, 2005 Posted September 2, 2005 Why do I find it so hard to talk to him and tell him this? Because you don't want to hurt his feelings and you know that when you do talk with him about it that it will hurt him. The problem with that is that by continuing to see him you are going to make the hurt worse when the time does come.
Author MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted September 3, 2005 Author Posted September 3, 2005 Guy2 called again and wants me to go golfing with him this weekend. I'd like to see him again and just say how nice it is the pressure is off now that we're just friends. He got me a present! I don't know what it is yet.
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