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I broke up with my girlfriend of 2years 3 weeks ago.... now....

chelsea95

By chelsea95
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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chelsea95 New Member

chelsea95

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Posted (edited)

I broke up with my girlfriend of 2years 3 weeks ago.

 

We were talking at night and she fell asleep, and didn't reply me. She knows i don't like this and i always tell her when i'm going somewhere or before i go to bed. So the next day she sent me a few messages and called a few times and said she's sorry. I didn't reply at first but i did later.

 

So then we were talking at night again and she fell asleep on me again, I got angry and said " I'll exactly do the same and act careless because this is enough, now if i'm busy doing something i won't bother replying you either cause this is the second time you did this so don't put up a fight with me next time if i don't reply you "

 

She woke up after 3 hours in the middle of the night and messaged me saying she's sorry and it won't happen ever again. I didn't reply so she called me a few times and i didn't pick up. Then she got mad at me ignoring her and texted me this " why're you ruining the relationship by ignoring me? I told you it won't happen ever again but if you're gonna act this way, fine then don't reply. "

 

So i got pissed off when she sent me this and i was like seriously i'm ruining the relationship, you have the guts to blame me? We argued a little bit and didn't talk for 1-2 days. Then we got fine and made it up with each other so again it was around 10pm at night and we were talking. I told her i'll text her tomorrow and that i have low battery in my phone. She goes " we're talking after so many days and you're saying you're gonna text me tomorrow? if you really wanted to talk to me you wouldn't had said this. Fine then go. I'm going somewhere for a few days anyway so when i comeback i'll text you then " so i texted " you're gonna sleep and not reply my text as usual so i'll text you in the morning and sure babe, we'll talk when you come back. Message me then"

 

This was our last message and the other day she thought i'd message and ask her why she's not replying, which i didn't so she blocked me. I got really mad and i waited for 4-5 days till newyears and was expecting her to text me something sweet for newyears which she didn't and she didn't even unblock me. So i got really pissed off, a lot of things came up my mind at that moment as to how it's always me who texts long and sweet things. It's always me who texts on our anniversery date and It's always me who gives her gifts. I'm not a materialistic person but in these 2 years the only time i received a gift from her was on my birthday. I told her so many times before that i want her to be sweet and show your love to me by sometimes going out of your way to do something and she always said she will but she never did.

 

Since i was blocked on facebook, i texted her on instagram and told her this is enough, i'm breaking up. And also explained as to how i feel, it's always me who tries doing everything and you always promise me that you'll change but you never do. Then she replied saying i'm heartless and that i always break my promises with her and i always breakup and that she's the one who always tries and messages whenever we breakup to fix everything. Yes i broke up a lot with her over this same issue but she never stopped me, and always argued back but after a few days she always used to message me saying she's sorry and that she'll change which she didn't. This happened a couple of times.

 

So then we brokeup and didn't talk for 3 weeks. today after 3 weeks she texted me saying " i know it's been a few days but i've realized now that it was my fault and i shouldn't have blocked you, i'm really sorry" I replied "it's okay but what about everything else?" and she goes " im still really mad at you for breaking up and breaking your promises " Then i explained her everything as to why i brokeup. I told her just like you need assurance at times from me that i love you, i do as well because i've got feelings too, i want you to be more open and sweet if you want this to workout.

 

Then she goes " i've told you many times that i'm really bad at expressing my feelings but i will change and what about you, will you stay like this? Breaking your promises all the time by breaking up and blaming everything on me" then i replied " Are you kidding me right now, You're blaming me for all of this that happened? " she goes no i'm just saying. but breaking up isn't a joke, don't make promises you can't keep. Then i replied " I didn't breakup without any reason, i'm not mad to do that. if you can't communicate openly and you're unexpressive you'll only appear rude and cold. Just like you need reassurance from me that how much i love you at times, i do too. i've got feelings as well and it really pushed me away because no matter how much time passed by you always stayed the same. You did change but slighty "

 

Then she was like " You don't know how much i love you, don't say that. Then she asked me how should i open up? i explained her everything. then she was like " Okay i get it but now can you please tell me that you're still going to be this way, breaking up all the time? and why do you act careless all the time like you don't give a damn about the relationship, i swear it pushes me away. that's the reason i blocked you from everywhere. And if you breakup everytime its hard for a person to open up"

 

Then i replied " Seriously i act careless? You slept on me twice, even after apologizing that day and you're saying i acted careless? you're blaming me? " she replied " I blocked you because you didnt even ask me why i wasnt replying you, it feels like it doesn't even bother you whether we talk or not " I got pissed off and said " You're not doing me a favor by saying you can't open up like this, if you can't show your love then there are other people who can. You're acting the same way and you'll never change and you still have the guts to blame me"

 

Then i blocked her from instagram. she texted me on facebook saying " I apologized and you ****ing blocked me, who do you think you are? I'm gonna do everything that you hate and talk to guys and everything just watch" Then she blocked me and started following guys on her instagram.

 

Was i wrong for doing this? I'm really hurt and confused because it's always me who showers my love on her by doing sweet things and stuff. It's a part of a healthy relationship and both partners should do equally. Just because she doesn't and she never cares to message on special dates, i feel like she doesn't love me so i get cold and distant without explaining cause no matter how many times i did she never changed..

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
paragraphs ~T
preraph Established Member

preraph

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There's something going on with you that you place so much importance on being in constant contact. It sounds like a lot of insecurity and it also unfortunately sounds like you're a bully about it and don't care about her wellbeing. She's obviously tired and probably bored and you don't even care. You sound as if you have no respect for what SHE needs or wants. You sound tyrannical. This is your insecurity and being controlling, and you need to work on it, my opinion. No one should have to stay awake to keep you happy.

  • Like 4
CantTakeMySmile Established Member

CantTakeMySmile

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How old are you?

  • Like 3
vickyp Established Member

vickyp

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By your actions, you sound too needy and a jerk. I hope your ex finds someone decent.

  • Like 3
mrs rubble Established Member

mrs rubble

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So immature! The whole not replying to her because she fell asleep shows how petty and immature you are.

In the old days, we had actual conversations over the phone, now days young people only text or message each other, which leads to conversations getting taken out of context and misinterpreted.

You could have saved the whole relationship and the misunderstandings by having real conversations.

  • Like 6
MsJayne Established Member

MsJayne

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Hmm, you're a Stage 5 Clinger. Smothering people, sulking, being petty and spiteful, and being a demanding, spoiled juvenile is a great way to drive people away.

  • Like 2
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chelsea95 New Member

chelsea95

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It's not because I intend to be this way. If for instance im busy and I don't reply her. She'd do the same too and get mad...

HumanMachine Established Member

HumanMachine

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You need to grow up OP

  • Like 2
Thingsfallapart Established Member

Thingsfallapart

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Sorry but I think this girl deserves better.

You need to grow up.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
rude ~T
  • Like 5
sdraw108 Established Member

sdraw108

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I concur with the posts above mine. You sound like a young teenager. You need to grow up. Your girlfriend falling asleep during texting is in no way reasonable grounds for an argument or a breakup.

 

I couldn't bring myself to read more than the first several paragraphs as it just sounded like more of the same nonsense.

  • Like 1
anika99 Established Member

anika99

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You both sound somewhat childish,especially you. You want her to make all these changes to make you happy but you accept no responsibility for any of the problems. You are outraged and indignant by every thing she does that you view as a slight, while you think all of your crappy behaviour is justified somehow.

 

In that last conversation I see her reaching out and attempting to take responsibility for her behaviour and wanting to know what you need her to change. All she wanted from you was a commitment to not break your promises and to stop breaking up with her but you wouldn't even give her that, because in your head, everything you do is right and justified and all that matters is your feelings and your wants. You have a lot to learn about how healthy relationships work. If you can't stop breaking up with your gf everytime you don't get what you want then just let her go find someone more mature.

  • Like 1
Whodatdog Established Member

Whodatdog

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I couldnt read thru this whole mess. I stopped after you getting pissed off because she fell asleep. Really? So she fell asleep on purpose?

 

I hope she's done with you. You are are jerk.

  • Like 2
Zahara Established Member

Zahara

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Yes i broke up a lot with her over this same issue but she never stopped me

 

Stay broken up. You both are incredibly immature. Hopefully you learn how to communicate your grievances in a relationship rather than this roller coaster of break-ups and make-ups. That's all just manipulative behavior.

  • Like 3
preraph Established Member

preraph

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It's not because I intend to be this way. If for instance im busy and I don't reply her. She'd do the same too and get mad...

 

Then you're both immature and insecure. I bet she doesn't bully you about it. From what you said she sounds like she apologizes even when you're a bully, so I can't see her being as bad as you, I'm sorry.

ilovemefirst Established Member

ilovemefirst

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You are being so toxic. Give the girl some space.

She falls asleep and you punish her for that? Thats not fair at all to her. You should really work on your insecurities. I know this sounds harsh and i apologize for offending, but please, if you want to be in a healthy relationship, you really need to learn to give your partner their space and not expect them to be in constant contact with you.

  • Like 2
mayonnaise Member

mayonnaise

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I think you need to break up and find yourself first. You seem too immature, dependent and insecure to be in a relationship. Plus, you're asking for too much in return from her because you expect too much. The whole point of being in a relationship is letting a person be who he/she is. Not trying to change them to fulfill your expectations. Please give yourselves some space. You both need it.

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