LittleDog96 Posted January 16, 2018 Posted January 16, 2018 Long story short my ex broke up with me 3 months ago because of anxiety and needed space to figure herself out. Ever since she has been playing games with me. She would direct snap stories at me with hidden meaning in them only I would know, fav my tweets, and like my instas, talk about me constantly to friends, get mad everytime I'm at my best friends house (who's a girl that lives next door to her), drive by my house slowly to see if i'm home. In november I blocked her on everything and unblocked her just so that she wouldn't be following me anymore and she still stalks all my profiles. I know all this because a close friend told me it was true. It was a good relationship (I did nothing wrong), except I ignored major red flags: needs attention from guys at all times, sometimes would refer to me as just a friend and not a bf, ignore my mental illnesses and say her's were much worse, etc.. We barely talked after the break up and I texted her in november asking to talk and her mom apparently told her not to respond lol. And a few weeks ago she denied my friend request on FB (weak point). I know she's doing this to mess with my head still as she's still kept up all the insta pics of us when she recently deleted a bunch of other pics not of us recently. I have been no contact for over 2 months now which has been really hard. I just don't know why I care so much. I have severe depression and anxiety and her doing all this has made it so much worse on me so much that I had a friend text her to leave me alone because I figured she wouldn't respond (which she got mad I had him do it and not me lol). Anyways, I still love her and would like to get back together as crazy as it sounds but I would also like to just move on as I'm talking to someone else now who actually cares about me. If anyone has any insight it would be greatly appreciated as I am a complete mess 3 months later and really don't feel like carrying on anymore.
d0nnivain Posted January 16, 2018 Posted January 16, 2018 You are not getting back together with her. She is in no shape to be in a relationship & her mom is against this. Stop swimming against the tide. Now block her everywhere & go NC. It's the best healing tool there is. You are no where in getting over her, because she's still in your life. It's like a scab you keep picking. You think you are healing but here she comes with a snapchat, liking your tweet or whatever & viola you are in pain all over again. Good news: YOU have the power to make it stop by blocking her. Then you can heal & eventually pursue a relationship with a happy, healthy person. 1
HumanMachine Posted January 16, 2018 Posted January 16, 2018 Leave you alone? You’re the one sending her friend requests and unblocking her on social media. Occupy your free time, keep your mind busy and “don’t feel like carrying on anymore” over a girl? Really man?
sdraw108 Posted January 16, 2018 Posted January 16, 2018 In november I blocked her on everything and unblocked her Don't half do a job properly.
Author LittleDog96 Posted January 16, 2018 Author Posted January 16, 2018 Idk tbh this is my first serious relationship and I have made many mistakes after it was over and I admit that I just give in. Like you're right I shouldn't but I do, I just don't have the control to stop myself.
d0nnivain Posted January 16, 2018 Posted January 16, 2018 You do have the control to stop yourself. You just don't want to. When you are done with the drama & routinely having your heart broken you will break things off, block her & move on. BTW you don't have "extreme depression." That is a medical diagnosis & it's correct name is major depressive disorder. You are just upset after a break up & you continue to be upset because you are still interacting with her. I'm not downplaying how much it hurts but you need to put the right labels on things & not make your life worse by thinking it will never get better. 3
Author LittleDog96 Posted January 16, 2018 Author Posted January 16, 2018 I appreciate your responses and do need to stop. But I do have depression and anxiety I have been on medication for awhile now and have been in therapy since I was 13. I'm not disregarding what you said cause its all true but I legit do have these illnesses and its been worse since we broke up (the hurt of the breakup); you're right about that. 1
d0nnivain Posted January 16, 2018 Posted January 16, 2018 OK. Then I'm glad you are getting help. The pain of a break up is very difficult. Do speak to your therapist. That person can help you to stay strong & implement NC. It's a boundary you need to help yourself heal.
hurtsbadjusthurts Posted January 16, 2018 Posted January 16, 2018 Similar situation to you. Break up a few month ago. Saw a great YouTube video by brendon burchard. He's done lots of studies on high performers and what they do to perform in challenging situation.(Such as the one we are in.) The key thing is emotions are not fixed. No one is automatically "confident" "Calm" "Happy". People have to consciously choice how they want to feel in a particularly situation and work towards that. Think about how you would best like to feel? during this experience and choose to work towards that.
IReallyLovePuppies Posted January 16, 2018 Posted January 16, 2018 Hey little dog.. Love you dude.. you are like a little pupper! Listen to D0nni mate.. words of wisdom. I'm glad you are getting help.. but for you to heal now, there's a few things you Must absolutely do. Your life is in your hand.. Never ever go, I can't help it or I don't know. When the actions you are doing are hurting yourself.. you can not afford to be indecisive anymore! Sit down and write this down if you must and tell yourself, NC.. I'm not going to try and contact her.. I'm not going to check on her social media not am I going to go finding out what she is doing. There is no buts.. like Yoda says.. do, or do not, there is no try. Then if you do have depression.. Join a gym tomorrow... You'll not see results tomorrow or the next week but ask yourself this, do you want to be the same yourself in 6 months time or do you want to be a better you? And the exercise and endorphins will help with your depression and all that as well, trust me.. I've been there.. forced myself to walk into the gym every day and now, I love it! Be strong little pupper.. You'll walk out if this stronger and happier.. Promise you! 1
igotoverit Posted January 16, 2018 Posted January 16, 2018 Hey little dog.. Love you dude.. you are like a little pupper! Listen to D0nni mate.. words of wisdom. I'm glad you are getting help.. but for you to heal now, there's a few things you Must absolutely do. Your life is in your hand.. Never ever go, I can't help it or I don't know. When the actions you are doing are hurting yourself.. you can not afford to be indecisive anymore! Sit down and write this down if you must and tell yourself, NC.. I'm not going to try and contact her.. I'm not going to check on her social media not am I going to go finding out what she is doing. There is no buts.. like Yoda says.. do, or do not, there is no try. Then if you do have depression.. Join a gym tomorrow... You'll not see results tomorrow or the next week but ask yourself this, do you want to be the same yourself in 6 months time or do you want to be a better you? And the exercise and endorphins will help with your depression and all that as well, trust me.. I've been there.. forced myself to walk into the gym every day and now, I love it! Be strong little pupper.. You'll walk out if this stronger and happier.. Promise you! I can relate to that. We have to let it go and move on. Face the facts and do nc.
rachelangelo Posted January 16, 2018 Posted January 16, 2018 No one can tell you what to do, but this doesn't seem like a healthy relationship for you to pursue again. I know that your anxiety and depression may be scaring you into thinking that you won't find someone else, but you will. Don't settle for someone who treats you like dirt. 1
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