fred123 Posted January 15, 2018 Posted January 15, 2018 gone on a few dates with a girl. iv always initiated the plans and paid and asked her out every time ( once a week). we were talking via text the other day and the convo was about her texting me every day non stop. she texts me every day and even double or triple texts me. i asked her "do you text guys who you are interested in every day?" she replied well "one of her guy friends she talks and texts every day." i then said " well then i have to figure out whether you are interested in me or not" ( some girls like texting every day even to their guy fri3nds) she then replied " im interested in your company thats all. i dont know what u want from me" im now very turned off. this isnt how girls respond to a guy they are into right? kinda hurt me a bit this response from her. kinda maybe wanted validation she was into me.
Gaeta Posted January 15, 2018 Posted January 15, 2018 You don't ask a girl if she is interested in you, you judge her by her actions. You said you've planned and paid for all of your dates then it's time to slow down and let her initiate the next date. If she doesn't then she's more interested in you treating her to restaurants than to date you. When that happens You stop giving her attention and you find someone else. To me you said nothing wrong but it was not very masculine of you to show your insecurities. You said she accepted all of your dates and she text you all day, what's the problem? so far it's nothing negative. Like I said now it's time for her to show HER interest and you do that by letting her do her part. 3
Gaeta Posted January 15, 2018 Posted January 15, 2018 im interested in your company thats all. i dont know what u want from me". What did you reply to that?
Author fred123 Posted January 15, 2018 Author Posted January 15, 2018 What did you reply to that? i havnt replied. well the second or third date was a last minute thing from her when she said" well im free in an hour later". so i said ok and took her to a desert place and i had dressed up and she wore joggers etc.
Gaeta Posted January 15, 2018 Posted January 15, 2018 i havnt replied. well the second or third date was a last minute thing from her when she said" well im free in an hour later". so i said ok and took her to a desert place and i had dressed up and she wore joggers etc. That's not a date she set up, it's her telling you it's time to treat her. On top of that she didn't even make an effort to look presentable. You didn't need to dress up for a desert place but she needed at least to look presentable and cute. You are a dating prospect after all. This is not the type of woman you should invest in. She asked you what you want from her then answer honestly, answer that you are not looking for company but for a woman to date that will, in time, lead to a relationship. Tell her thank you for her time but you don't think you're a match and good luck. 2
gbe2015 Posted January 16, 2018 Posted January 16, 2018 Tell her you'e going out on a date on Saturday night and you can meet her Sunday if she's free. See what she does with that.
act00 Posted January 16, 2018 Posted January 16, 2018 I'm really not clear what the issue is here. I don't know if you're bothered by the fact she texts you all day long, or the fact that she admits she does this with other friends, guy friends, and past relationships. You opened up Pandora's box, sweetie, with this annoyance and question, "do you text guys who you are interested in every day?" What do you think the response was going to be? What were you expecting? What was the answer "supposed" to be, in your mind? So she has a dude-friend...figure out what this friendship is and work with it or walk. She's interested in your company. Is that a bad thing? She likes you enough for three dates and frenzied texting, so I think her interest level in you is rather high. What am I missing? 1
Miss Spider Posted January 16, 2018 Posted January 16, 2018 Nooooooo you don't ask your neurotic thoughts to your date. That's we use loveshack for. 7
olivetree Posted January 16, 2018 Posted January 16, 2018 Nooooooo you don't ask your neurotic thoughts to your date. That's we use loveshack for. You would never do that, would you cookies? 4
Author fred123 Posted January 16, 2018 Author Posted January 16, 2018 I'm really not clear what the issue is here. I don't know if you're bothered by the fact she texts you all day long, or the fact that she admits she does this with other friends, guy friends, and past relationships. You opened up Pandora's box, sweetie, with this annoyance and question, "do you text guys who you are interested in every day?" What do you think the response was going to be? What were you expecting? What was the answer "supposed" to be, in your mind? So she has a dude-friend...figure out what this friendship is and work with it or walk. She's interested in your company. Is that a bad thing? She likes you enough for three dates and frenzied texting, so I think her interest level in you is rather high. What am I missing? the reason i ask is because she sends a lot and is clearly a tester but i prefer to meet in person. and some girls like to text a lot doesn't mean they like you. it could just be she likes me as a friend if that makes sense lol another thing which i thought was strange was we had a phone call once and she told me about a guy she went on 2 dates with and he got touchy with her and she was put off by him trying to get a bit physical with and getting close to her like cuddling and hands holdiing etc. why is she telling me that? is that a sign ? i haven't kissed her or touched her yet
SevenCity Posted January 16, 2018 Posted January 16, 2018 I'm really not clear what the issue is here. I don't know if you're bothered by the fact she texts you all day long, or the fact that she admits she does this with other friends, guy friends, and past relationships. You opened up Pandora's box, sweetie, with this annoyance and question, "do you text guys who you are interested in every day?" What do you think the response was going to be? What were you expecting? What was the answer "supposed" to be, in your mind? So she has a dude-friend...figure out what this friendship is and work with it or walk. She's interested in your company. Is that a bad thing? She likes you enough for three dates and frenzied texting, so I think her interest level in you is rather high. What am I missing? Pretty much everything Gaeta pointed out. OP - A confident man doesn't ask if a girl he's dating likes him. He goes for a kiss and escalates to sex. You'll have your answer quicker and cheaper that way. Go for a kiss after the first date and you'll know exactly where you stand. She'll either balk or kiss you back. If she balks and you decide to try one more time she knows you will kiss her again on the next date. I rarely go out with women again who won't kiss me on the first date. 3
Miss Spider Posted January 16, 2018 Posted January 16, 2018 the reason i ask is because she sends a lot and is clearly a tester but i prefer to meet in person. and some girls like to text a lot doesn't mean they like you. it could just be she likes me as a friend if that makes sense lol another thing which i thought was strange was we had a phone call once and she told me about a guy she went on 2 dates with and he got touchy with her and she was put off by him trying to get a bit physical with and getting close to her like cuddling and hands holdiing etc. why is she telling me that? is that a sign ? i haven't kissed her or touched her yet Well is she turning down you dates or what? Why can't she like to text and also meet in person? How many dates have you been on
Author fred123 Posted January 16, 2018 Author Posted January 16, 2018 Well is she turning down you dates or what? Why can't she like to text and also meet in person? How many dates have you been on 4 dates so far 1
Miss Spider Posted January 16, 2018 Posted January 16, 2018 That's a little steep for no physical touching at all, but she did say she likes to take that slow. This sounds really close to friend/orbiter zone. If she turns down your dates without another suggestion would be affirmation of this. 1
Author fred123 Posted January 16, 2018 Author Posted January 16, 2018 That's a little steep for no physical touching at all, but she did say she likes to take that slow. This sounds really close to friend/orbiter zone. If she turns down your dates without another suggestion would be affirmation of this. why whould she tell me about this guy she went on 2 dates ages ago and how she didnt like that he was touchy feely with her. she said she didnt like when a guy does that too soon. but she has had one night stands before so makes no sense
kakoy Posted January 16, 2018 Posted January 16, 2018 Nooooooo you don't ask your neurotic thoughts to your date. That's we use loveshack for. That’s why I am here....
kakoy Posted January 16, 2018 Posted January 16, 2018 why whould she tell me about this guy she went on 2 dates ages ago and how she didnt like that he was touchy feely with her. she said she didnt like when a guy does that too soon. but she has had one night stands before so makes no sense Is she super shy and awkward? that could be her hinting that she likes to take thing slow since the guy she mentioned was “ages ago”. If it was more recent or a guy she is currently dating, I would say she is friendzoning you.
Author fred123 Posted January 16, 2018 Author Posted January 16, 2018 Is she super shy and awkward? that could be her hinting that she likes to take thing slow since the guy she mentioned was “ages ago”. If it was more recent or a guy she is currently dating, I would say she is friendzoning you. it was a few months ago. she must hav not liked him to have felt that way right? a girl who likes a guy doesnt say that? a girl who likes a guy wont mind if he reaches for her hand or slight touches her on a second date?
kakoy Posted January 16, 2018 Posted January 16, 2018 it was a few months ago. she must hav not liked him to have felt that way right? a girl who likes a guy doesnt say that? a girl who likes a guy wont mind if he reaches for her hand or slight touches her on a second date? Your examples above are totoslly fine on a 2nd date.... I started questioning if there is none attempt at these small physical affections and it makes it really awkward when the guy go for a kiss without them since it would feel really sudden (happened to me before).
BaileyB Posted January 16, 2018 Posted January 16, 2018 why whould she tell me about this guy she went on 2 dates ages ago and how she didnt like that he was touchy feely with her. she said she didnt like when a guy does that too soon. but she has had one night stands before so makes no sense This girl sends a few mixed signals that are hard to read. But, I think her reply "I'm interested in your company, that's all" was pretty clear. She wants to be friends. And yeah, not the smoothest plan to ask a girl straight out if she likes you. Although, I know it can be hard to tell in the early stages of dating... 3
Gaeta Posted January 16, 2018 Posted January 16, 2018 why whould she tell me about this guy she went on 2 dates ages ago and how she didnt like that he was touchy feely with her. she said she didnt like when a guy does that too soon. but she has had one night stands before so makes no sense Again, you are concentrating on 1 tree and not seeing the forest behind. It's not important she said that, you have a collection of other incidents telling you she is not interested in you as a dating partner. " im interested in your company thats all. i dont know what u want from me" It means I am interested in your company nothing else. Then she plays stupid by asking you what do you want from her. I suggest you be honest and tell her exactly what you want from her! 3
Andy_K Posted January 16, 2018 Posted January 16, 2018 she then replied " im interested in your company thats all. i dont know what u want from me" She doesn't seem too interested, so you don't have much to lose here. Might as well have fun with it. "Marriage, kids, and a white picket fence! Or failing that, we can just practice the making kids" 1
d0nnivain Posted January 16, 2018 Posted January 16, 2018 why whould she tell me about this guy she went on 2 dates ages ago and how she didnt like that he was touchy feely with her. she said she didnt like when a guy does that too soon. but she has had one night stands before so makes no sense Women LOVE IT when men they are attracted to are affectionate. It also creeps us out when men we aren't attracted to get touchy feely. 4 dates & no affection = she's not that into you fred123. (In contrast just because your prior GF used you for sex, didn't mean she liked you) Please move on now. You were right to get offended & turned off by her response. She point blank told you she has friend zoned you. Now act on that info & walk away. Don't waste more time & money on this chick. Listen to Gaeta & SevenCity. Make a decisive move early. . . like 1st date or at least 2nd. If you get rejected, move on. Don't continue wasting time & money. Also stop trying to have deep emotionally laden conversations about the status of your relationship via text. It doesn't matter is "she's a texter." It's a lousy way to communicate deep subjects. If she can't talk to you like a mature adult get rid of her in favor of dating a grown up. I'm glad you at least put yourself out there again but you have to learn to lead with confidence. 2
Author fred123 Posted January 17, 2018 Author Posted January 17, 2018 Women LOVE IT when men they are attracted to are affectionate. It also creeps us out when men we aren't attracted to get touchy feely. 4 dates & no affection = she's not that into you fred123. (In contrast just because your prior GF used you for sex, didn't mean she liked you) Please move on now. You were right to get offended & turned off by her response. She point blank told you she has friend zoned you. Now act on that info & walk away. Don't waste more time & money on this chick. Listen to Gaeta & SevenCity. Make a decisive move early. . . like 1st date or at least 2nd. If you get rejected, move on. Don't continue wasting time & money. Also stop trying to have deep emotionally laden conversations about the status of your relationship via text. It doesn't matter is "she's a texter." It's a lousy way to communicate deep subjects. If she can't talk to you like a mature adult get rid of her in favor of dating a grown up. I'm glad you at least put yourself out there again but you have to learn to lead with confidence. i will ask her out on a 5th date for this friday or saturday. il get tickets to a show or something for our date. i dont think she or girls ( esp learning from my ex) that they like to have deep emotional philosophical converstaions. i like to have deep convos because for me it shows connection on an emotional level but oh well i have to do what the women wants
BaileyB Posted January 17, 2018 Posted January 17, 2018 Well... I like a deep philosophical discussion, but not usually on the first few dates. I would rather get to know the guy and have some fun together...
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