Dd05434 Posted January 15, 2018 Posted January 15, 2018 Hi everyone, My boyfriend has been really getting on my nerves lately. We have been dating for 7 months. I work night shift, have to sleep during the day, he doesn't seem to get that and gets upset with me for napping so much. He wants to go out and do things all the time and the other day told me that night shift is ruining our relationship and that all I do is sleep. This really pissed me off because I have given him months to adjust to it, I have spent almost all weekend every weekend for 6 months with him, and nothing I do is enough. Earlier tonight I was watching a Shane Dawson video on YouTube while he looked for something for us to watch. Instead of just letting me watch what I wanted, he immediately started asking if I had a thing for gay/bi guys and saying that his videos aren't funny and that he won't watch a "queer"...I was just like okay, first of all we don't have to find all of the same things funny, secondly I don't choose what content to watch on MY phone with MY YouTube based on the sexual orientation of the person. Give me a break. Also started seeing a counselor due to anxiety and depression. He told me to just snap out of it. I know these are little things but the combination just grinds my gears...
SpinScratch Posted January 15, 2018 Posted January 15, 2018 idk... sounds like you got a real catch. These dont seem like problems that you can work out with him. They are just ****ty personality traits that one day you will probably decide you dont want to deal with anymore. 3
snowboy91 Posted January 15, 2018 Posted January 15, 2018 Hi everyone, My boyfriend has been really getting on my nerves lately. We have been dating for 7 months. I work night shift, have to sleep during the day, he doesn't seem to get that and gets upset with me for napping so much. He wants to go out and do things all the time and the other day told me that night shift is ruining our relationship and that all I do is sleep. This really pissed me off because I have given him months to adjust to it, I have spent almost all weekend every weekend for 6 months with him, and nothing I do is enough. Earlier tonight I was watching a Shane Dawson video on YouTube while he looked for something for us to watch. Instead of just letting me watch what I wanted, he immediately started asking if I had a thing for gay/bi guys and saying that his videos aren't funny and that he won't watch a "queer"...I was just like okay, first of all we don't have to find all of the same things funny, secondly I don't choose what content to watch on MY phone with MY YouTube based on the sexual orientation of the person. Give me a break. Also started seeing a counselor due to anxiety and depression. He told me to just snap out of it. I know these are little things but the combination just grinds my gears... Those would get on just about everyone's nerves. Not being able to spend much time with each other due to night shift can put a lot of strain on any relationship, but it sounds like he's just not willing to be respectful of your work schedule. For this point you need to work out expectations that both of you can agree to, and adjust as needed. The second point bolded - you don't have to find the same things funny, but he has to respect your preferences in entertainment, as you do his. The third point is the most concerning IMO. Those kinds of attitudes toward mental health issues can be really damaging, especially when they come from those closest to you. You may have to seriously consider whether continuing this relationship will be good for your mental health in the long run, or whether you can set his judgement aside. 3
BaileyB Posted January 15, 2018 Posted January 15, 2018 Nope, those are pretty big things... I wouldn't be very impressed with his dismissive attitude and lack of consideration for your feelings either. Have you considered that your anxiety and depression may in fact be related to your relationship? 3
rightondude Posted January 15, 2018 Posted January 15, 2018 ask yourself, do you really see this changing for the better? If not, get the hell out now before it gets worse. 1
GemmaUK Posted January 15, 2018 Posted January 15, 2018 Have you considered that your anxiety and depression may in fact be related to your relationship? Just what I was thinking. He doesn't respect your need for sleep during the daytime which is your only opportunity to sleep. He doesn't respect your own choices in whatever you want to watch. He doesn't respect your health. Controlling and potentially abusive spring to mind here. Do you want to date a guy who is in it for himself and has no respect or consideration for you? 3
dude360 Posted January 15, 2018 Posted January 15, 2018 Hi everyone, He wants to go out and do things all the time and the other day told me that night shift is ruining our relationship and that all I do is sleep. This really pissed me off because I have given him months to adjust to it, I know, right? It's so annoying. A boyfriend that actually wants to spend time with the girl he loves. What a sh*tty boyfriend. I would be pissed off too.
sdraw108 Posted January 15, 2018 Posted January 15, 2018 I know, right? It's so annoying. A boyfriend that actually wants to spend time with the girl he loves. What a sh*tty boyfriend. I would be pissed off too. The point <---------------- ----------------------> dude360 5
Author Dd05434 Posted January 15, 2018 Author Posted January 15, 2018 I know, right? It's so annoying. A boyfriend that actually wants to spend time with the girl he loves. What a sh*tty boyfriend. I would be pissed off too. I like how you didn't quote the part immediately after where I said that I have spent almost every weekend for 6 months with him. 3
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 15, 2018 Posted January 15, 2018 He sounds like a self-centered jerk. The YouTube story would be enough for me.....he's a bully. 1
Els Posted January 15, 2018 Posted January 15, 2018 While polar opposite shifts are difficult for any couple to deal with, this guy seems to put zero effort into any compromise, and has other serious issues to boot. I really would not call any of THOSE problems a "little thing". 1
kendahke Posted January 15, 2018 Posted January 15, 2018 Your boyfriend is an insensitive oaf. You'd be well served dumping him and you may find a lot of the things you're seeing the therapist for will clear up. .
kendahke Posted January 15, 2018 Posted January 15, 2018 I know, right? It's so annoying. A boyfriend that actually wants to spend time with the girl he loves. What a sh*tty boyfriend. I would be pissed off too. Wrong. An immature boy who actually believes he's supposed to come before how OP puts food on her table? What a laugh!!! I'd be avoiding that clingy mess, too. It won't kill him to spend a few weekends doing something so his girlfriend can sleep. Why should she adjust her schedule for an ingrate such as him? I wouldn't. He acts like he'll dissolve into a puddle on the street. OP, throw this ball of too much trouble back--he's not worth it. He's not mature enough to recognize financial responsibility.
smackie9 Posted January 15, 2018 Posted January 15, 2018 He has buyer's remorse and wants some things to change .....try making some kind of compromise together. You only need 8 hours to sleep right? So work something out with him like sleep when you get home, or sleep before your shift. There's like 4-6 hours in there somewhere you two can go do things together. Obviously it doesn't have to be everyday, but maybe it would help if you two planned things ahead in advance that would be acceptable for the both of you. I think that will take some of the pressure off.
fireflyingaway Posted January 16, 2018 Posted January 16, 2018 You don't need someone in your life who puts you down for watching Shane Dawson. He's a queen and so are you Find someone who treats you like one. Who respects you! So get your plastic crown, diet rootbeer and ranch dressing... 1
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