KGee Posted January 14, 2018 Posted January 14, 2018 So I've been seeing my boyfriend for a good few months now. He travels across the country and one of our offices caught fire. My boyfriend was at the office that day and I can only guess what happened. He come back to his office and we spoke, He was clearly shaken and we spoke. I thought he would be okay, he said he was just collecting his thoughts and he wasn't talkative. A few days after he asks to meet up. I go and he gives me his watch and explains its one that I can pull out this tab if I am ever in trouble and help will come to me. he made me promise him I'd always wear it, especially when I'm travelling with work and at trade shows. My dad said its an expensive watch and he mentioned a brand. I feel really bad wearing it because I'm scared of losing it or breaking it or accidentally pulling the tab. I don't want to upset my boyfriend by raising this with him because he is looking out for me when he isn't there. I just want to know what could be going through his mind as I want to help him, He isn't giving much away and when I ask he says nothing. I just want an understanding.
d0nnivain Posted January 15, 2018 Posted January 15, 2018 He had a near death experience. Now he's scared & wants to protect you. Discuss your fears about the watch with him. Ask if the watch is insured. If it is, that should eliminate your fears about losing it. It can be replaced. Discuss what will happen if you pull the tab / accidently pull the tab. Pull the tab when you are together so you can see what happens for yourself. Talk about a call before he comes running. Like if you realize you accidently pulled it, you call him & say false alarm. Also if he gets your distress signal because you accidently pulled the tab he should call before he comes running. Only if you don't answer should he come running. In my 1st job I used to accidently set off the silent alarm in the office all the time. The cops would come & it was a thing. It was a small town so we established a routine. If it was an accident, I would meet the officer in the front room which was all glass; the alarm pad was by the back door. One day, it was dark & I tripped on my way to the front room so I didn't get there before the officer. He actually came running in gun drawn thinking I was in real trouble because I wasn't where I was when I set it off by accident. On the other hand if you feel smothered like your BF is trying to control your life, just give the watch back. 2
AngryGromit Posted January 15, 2018 Posted January 15, 2018 (edited) He travels across the country and one of our offices caught fire. Can you clarify by what you mean by fire? Was it a small trashcan fire, extinguished with a fire extinguisher? Or is the building now smoldering shell now? Pull the tab when you are together so you can see what happens for yourself. Talk about a call before he comes running. Like if you realize you accidentally pulled it, you call him & say false alarm. I wouldn't do this, she said if she pulled the tab, help would come. I'm assuming help isn't necessarily him. If he's across the country, and she pulls the tab, what is he going to do, jump on a plane and be here to help her 15 hours later? My assumption is it calls emergency services police/fire/ambulance, not him. Edited January 15, 2018 by AngryGromit
Author KGee Posted January 16, 2018 Author Posted January 16, 2018 Discuss your fears about the watch with him. Ask if the watch is insured. If it is, that should eliminate your fears about losing it. It can be replaced. Discuss what will happen if you pull the tab / accidently pull the tab. Pull the tab when you are together so you can see what happens for yourself. Talk about a call before he comes running. Like if you realize you accidently pulled it, you call him & say false alarm. Also if he gets your distress signal because you accidently pulled the tab he should call before he comes running. Only if you don't answer should he come running. On the other hand if you feel smothered like your BF is trying to control your life, just give the watch back. I asked and he said that it sends out an emergency beacon to the emergency services and they'll come. I had a look on line and found the website for the watch maker. He isn't trying to smother me, he wouldn't know if I pulled the tab neither. He just said I should use it if anything happens. I also asked about the insurance he said it is insured but it still worries me if I break it or lose it Can you clarify by what you mean by fire? Was it a small trashcan fire, extinguished with a fire extinguisher? Or is the building now smoldering shell now? I wouldn't do this, she said if she pulled the tab, help would come. I'm assuming help isn't necessarily him. If he's across the country, and she pulls the tab, what is he going to do, jump on a plane and be here to help her 15 hours later? My assumption is it calls emergency services police/fire/ambulance, not him. He has told me never to pull the tab/antenna out unless it is a real emergency as they'll go after him/his insurance to reimburse him for the response. The building is no more and needs a rebuild. I know he has had a near death experience but from what others said he was amazing and well brave.
Author KGee Posted January 18, 2018 Author Posted January 18, 2018 So I've told him about me going to Ireland with work, He said I need to take the watch with me and gave me tips about always carry my passport when flying. He really is a wreck after this incident, I don't know what to do.
Mr. Lucky Posted January 18, 2018 Posted January 18, 2018 So I've told him about me going to Ireland with work, He said I need to take the watch with me and gave me tips about always carry my passport when flying. He really is a wreck after this incident, I don't know what to do. You come across at times as being more concerned with how this has affected you as opposed to him. You really don't know how to comfort someone who's been through a traumatic situation? I'd apply equal parts consideration, love. communication and patience... Mr. Lucky
Author KGee Posted January 18, 2018 Author Posted January 18, 2018 You come across at times as being more concerned with how this has affected you as opposed to him. You really don't know how to comfort someone who's been through a traumatic situation? I'd apply equal parts consideration, love. communication and patience... Mr. Lucky I don't mean it to seem that way, He just isn't opening up to anyone
d0nnivain Posted January 18, 2018 Posted January 18, 2018 So I've told him about me going to Ireland with work, He said I need to take the watch with me and gave me tips about always carry my passport when flying. He really is a wreck after this incident, I don't know what to do. Take the watch. Ease his fears & carry on.
preraph Posted January 18, 2018 Posted January 18, 2018 What he did was a lovely gesture. Men protect those they love. You shouldn't push back on it. You know it's nothing he's monitoring. it doesn't matter if he gets charged for something. it doesn't matter if you accidentally pull it, which is highly unlikely! It's a very nice thing to have. Thank him for it. Now, if you feel it's too soon for gifts from him or that you don't care that much about him, time for a talk.
Author KGee Posted January 27, 2018 Author Posted January 27, 2018 What he did was a lovely gesture. Men protect those they love. You shouldn't push back on it. You know it's nothing he's monitoring. it doesn't matter if he gets charged for something. it doesn't matter if you accidentally pull it, which is highly unlikely! It's a very nice thing to have. Thank him for it. Now, if you feel it's too soon for gifts from him or that you don't care that much about him, time for a talk. I did thank him for it I know I just want to know what he is thinking/feeling so I can help him, Yesterday I asked him to help me with something at work, (On the books as he would say, so he was assigned to the job) and we had so much fun and it was before the fire (Although I accidentally ran over his foot with my chair - He saw the funny side, My boss wasn't happy he got assigned. He said its not right that he makes me laugh and happy as well as getting me "in" with lots of people who now like me. Thats another thread). He has explained the watch has a policy for accidental activations and the pulling the tab process is a lot more than pulling something. So I'm happy and I've been wearing it with pride and explaining it to anyone who asked. 1
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