Daniel540 Posted January 13, 2018 Posted January 13, 2018 (edited) I’m hurting and full of regret after being told by a girl a week ago that what we have is over and that they need space. An incident with an ex provoked my insecurities and an irational response whereby I became extremely overprotective and said some silly things. We had been seeing each other for 3 months and things had been going well - I was happy and looking forward to our future. I am now full of hurt and regret and am receiving mixed advice - After receiving a message last week advising that she had enough of what we had, it was over and she wanted space, I sent a few messages asking for her mind to be changed and called her that evening where she stated that her decision was final. Even through the hurt, I had not made any contact since last week and that conversation. Today I posted a public picture of me at a park and received a very brief message asking if I was okay. I said that i missed speaking to her (which I really do) and that I was fine. She then replied stating that she too missed speaking to me however time would heal. In response - I asked if she was free that evening to go out and received a message saying it was normal to miss each other and would get better with time. I responded saying that it would be a shame to let one situation scupper what was a good thing. She replied stating she was out and could not reply as she wanted to - that was hours ago. She is a strong girl and a girl who does not seem to ever alter her opinions - how can I save this guys? She really is a great girl and makes me a better guy! I was thinking of waiting and sending flowers next week? Edited January 13, 2018 by Daniel540
HumanMachine Posted January 13, 2018 Posted January 13, 2018 Sending flowers to somebody who clearly has no interest in you? It’s done, time to block on.. and never chase the dumper!!!!!!!!!!!! 2
igotoverit Posted January 13, 2018 Posted January 13, 2018 (edited) Your in the denial stage and although it may feel nice, her contacting you like that was hurtful. She probably didn't realize that. She clearly doesn't want to be with you so time to start the grieving process and begin your journey through this. Edited January 13, 2018 by igotoverit
ExpatInItaly Posted January 13, 2018 Posted January 13, 2018 (edited) Do not send flowers. She has not even really responded to your invitation to meet, so flowers would be over-stepping it. The ball is in her court now to follow-up on your invitation if she wishes. Remember that she asked for space; show her you can respect her request by laying low now. In terms of whether or not there is a chance she'll change her mind, can you elaborate on exactly what happened between you two? What triggered your insecurities, and what "silly things" did you say to her? Edited January 13, 2018 by ExpatInItaly
Author Daniel540 Posted January 13, 2018 Author Posted January 13, 2018 Do not send flowers. She has not even really responded to your invitation to meet, so flowers would be over-stepping it. The ball is in her court now to follow-up on your invitation if she wishes. Remember that she asked for space; show her you can respect her request by laying low now. In terms of whether or not there is a chance she'll change her mind, can you elaborate on exactly what happened between you two? What triggered your insecurities, and what "silly things" did you say to her? I just had a message back from her basically saying we will both be sad as we talked a lot over the last 3 months and she doesn’t know what to say. I responded saying that it was clear her decision was made, I apologise again for my actions and she knows where I am of she wants to catch up. In response to what I did - we were put and bumped into the ex who I knew of. I went up to him and said hi and he swore at me to go away. I told her who then text him which made me really upset and I got very over protective. The next day I dragged it out and she came round and when at mine mentioned that she messaged him again in the morning to sort it out. I lost the plot and wouldn’t drop it, I came out with lots of things and told her to block him and never contact etc and she kept telling me if I didn’t get over it we would be over - I kept bringing it up - then came her text goodbye
HumanMachine Posted January 13, 2018 Posted January 13, 2018 Why on earth would you go and say hi to her ex? 1
Author Daniel540 Posted January 13, 2018 Author Posted January 13, 2018 Why on earth would you go and say hi to her ex? Because I knew of him anyway, he was looking at me from the bar and I was obviously a little tipsy.
choochoocharles Posted January 13, 2018 Posted January 13, 2018 3 months??????really gotta move on quickly...girl doesnt want you dont make it worse by embarassing yourself.
Marc878 Posted January 13, 2018 Posted January 13, 2018 You really need to quit acting like a love sick puppy. She's probably disgusted now and wonders WTH was she thinking in even dating you in the first place. 1
mayonnaise Posted January 14, 2018 Posted January 14, 2018 You really gotta stop begging. She will not respect you if you anymore if you do so and most of the time, will think that the decision to break off was a good idea. So stop. Right now. Don't beg anymore. You've done your part, and you've done enough.
d0nnivain Posted January 14, 2018 Posted January 14, 2018 The best thing you can do is learn from this mistake. When you see a partner's EX out somewhere, there is no reason for you to interact with that person. Assuming they know who you are too, a tight lipped fake smile & a curt nod of the head in polite acknowledgement is all that is needed. You acted badly. She concluded she wasn't invested enough after only 90 days to put up with behavior from you she didn't like & she bailed. She doesn't know you well enough to know whether this bad behavior was the true you or some aberration so she concluded it wasn't worth finding out. All you can do is let her go. The more you chase, the farther she will run. You sending her flowers will be a waste of your money. She will receive them as your attempt to continue bugging her about her interactions with this EX. She will not see them as a peace offering or an apology. Since they will only make things worse, save your money. 4
Gr8fuln2020 Posted January 14, 2018 Posted January 14, 2018 The best thing you can do is learn from this mistake. When you see a partner's EX out somewhere, there is no reason for you to interact with that person. Assuming they know who you are too, a tight lipped fake smile & a curt nod of the head in polite acknowledgement is all that is needed. You acted badly. She concluded she wasn't invested enough after only 90 days to put up with behavior from you she didn't like & she bailed. She doesn't know you well enough to know whether this bad behavior was the true you or some aberration so she concluded it wasn't worth finding out. All you can do is let her go. The more you chase, the farther she will run. You sending her flowers will be a waste of your money. She will receive them as your attempt to continue bugging her about her interactions with this EX. She will not see them as a peace offering or an apology. Since they will only make things worse, save your money. PLEASE PLEASE, OP, this is wisdom!
Popsicle Posted January 14, 2018 Posted January 14, 2018 Yeah I agree with Donnivan. You were more invested in her and she thinks you're nuts now after your irractic behavior. There is no coming back from this because she never liked you a whole lot in the first place. She was just feeling you out to see if something would grow out of it. Sort of coasting in neutral waiting for something to happen to sway her positive or negative. I'm sorry you are hurting. She wasn't the right girl for you anyway. The right girl will feel stronger for you. 4
love0rlust Posted January 16, 2018 Posted January 16, 2018 Yeah, flowers is a no go. I don't think you necessarily have to give up on her, but taking some time away would probably be really good for you. I went through a very similar situation in my relationship, but the key was taking a step back and getting some guidance. You're obviously way more invested in her then she is in you.
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