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How do I show more investment in this friendship?


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Posted

I'm in my second year of university and last year, I made a friend on the dorm who I saw regularly. This year, we live off campus, so I haven't been able to see him as much(last semester, we only hung out once and I understand he has his own group of friends) but nonetheless, I want to invest in this friendship. What are some things I can do to do so?

Posted

If you're friends, invite him out for drinks or over for a game or something. If this is actually a guy you have a crush on instead and you're not another guy, then probably he'd contact you if he was interested in more than friendship but guys aren't always interested in being active friends with women like women are liking to be friends just fine with them.

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Posted
If you're friends, invite him out for drinks or over for a game or something. If this is actually a guy you have a crush on instead and you're not another guy, then probably he'd contact you if he was interested in more than friendship but guys aren't always interested in being active friends with women like women are liking to be friends just fine with them.

 

I am a dude for the recrod.

Posted

Good. Well, just invite him for something like to come over for a game or to hear new music or out for happy hour. If you are having trouble reconnecting with him once you're together, ask him lots of questions about what he's been doing and really get him to talking. Everyone likes to think someone is interested in hearing all about them. And keep it light and entertaining, nothing heavy.

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Posted
Good. Well, just invite him for something like to come over for a game or to hear new music or out for happy hour. If you are having trouble reconnecting with him once you're together, ask him lots of questions about what he's been doing and really get him to talking. Everyone likes to think someone is interested in hearing all about them. And keep it light and entertaining, nothing heavy.

 

Honestly, I'm kinda hesitant too as I feel like I might annoy him by asking or he might think I'm too needy on him or something.

Posted

Well, then hold off and don't contact for awhile. Does he contact you if you do not contact him? If not, he's probably just moving on. But if so, wait until there's something truly tempting you can invite him to. If he's not reciprocating, no point in chasing him. What you said is right. If he's not reciprocating, he will just get a negative impression of you and start avoiding. But if he contacts wou without you contacting him first, then great. Just don't demand more time than the pace he goes at.

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Posted
Well, then hold off and don't contact for awhile. Does he contact you if you do not contact him? If not, he's probably just moving on. But if so, wait until there's something truly tempting you can invite him to. If he's not reciprocating, no point in chasing him. What you said is right. If he's not reciprocating, he will just get a negative impression of you and start avoiding. But if he contacts wou without you contacting him first, then great. Just don't demand more time than the pace he goes at.

 

Eh, I wouldn't say he's not interested, we do chat. Last time I asked him to hang out was in aroud december, so should I ask now?

Posted

Does he ever initiate plans with you or in the last year, is it only you initiating plans? If it's 50/50, ask him to do something. If it's usually you, see if he would ever initiate plans if you didn't so you can tell if he has enough interest to keep it going.

Posted
Honestly, I'm kinda hesitant too as I feel like I might annoy him by asking or he might think I'm too needy on him or something.

 

If you two are true friends, he'll never even think such a thing! He will welcome hearing from you and want to hang out with you. (either go shoot some pool, or see a sports game on tv, or even go to a hockey or basketball game, depending if the City you're in has a team)

 

Why do you feel you'll annoy him or think you're too needy?

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Posted

I dunno, guess I'm overthinking it. Maybe if he keeps saying no, he'll feel bad.

Posted

Last time you asked him to hang out, what did he say? If he begged off, I think Id leave it alone unless he asks you. Its difficult to force friendships. Good ones just flow.

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Posted
Last time you asked him to hang out, what did he say? If he begged off, I think Id leave it alone unless he asks you. Its difficult to force friendships. Good ones just flow.

 

He said he already had plans.

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