shan71 Posted January 10, 2018 Posted January 10, 2018 my boyfriend does not always respond to me i do not know where i stand with him he takes ages to respond to me days sometimes i asked him is he ignoring me been like this for while now on and off he replied with why do i keep doing this and that im inpatient i dont know what to say to that ive not responded to him at all now giving him silent treatment have i lost him is he playing games
GorillaTheater Posted January 10, 2018 Posted January 10, 2018 We're talking about texting, right? I'm no fan of it and many others aren't as well. I can't say whether he's playing games, but you certainly are by giving him the silent treatment. How often do you see each other? Have you actually met?
Author shan71 Posted January 10, 2018 Author Posted January 10, 2018 yes we met have been since 2 yrs now but when dont hear off him i overthink from illness did date him 4 yrs ago but he ghosted and came back so i do question if he still around when dont hear off him i just didnt know or what to say to that text i fed up getting hurt if i text and get ignored we see each other when we can usually once a fortnight for about 5 hrs as he works long hours
d0nnivain Posted January 10, 2018 Posted January 10, 2018 Have you tried telling him that it upsets you when it takes him a while to respond?
Author shan71 Posted January 10, 2018 Author Posted January 10, 2018 yes but all he says he cant help being busy all the time ive not spoke to him at all today its always me initiating the texts too and hes not text me all day
d0nnivain Posted January 10, 2018 Posted January 10, 2018 You need to resign yourself to the idea that he won't text during work hours & give him a pass on that. If it's important I may hear from my husband at lunch but otherwise we rarely communicate from about 7 a.m. when he leaves the house until 8 p.m. when we both get home.
Author shan71 Posted January 10, 2018 Author Posted January 10, 2018 i just wondering if im a backburner for him he text when comes round to see me but they turn sexual when he leaves i dont hear off him unless i text him first but the text he sent i just dont no how to react to it reason i not responded
LoverOfDance Posted January 10, 2018 Posted January 10, 2018 Smh, this does not sound good at all. Someone who takes days to get back to you does not sound like someone who is into you. You only see each other once every two weeks, he barely/never initiates messages and sometimes takes days to respond - this definitely does not sound normal if you ask me. Busyness is not an excuse. It sounds like you're someone he's seeing casually. I honestly don't think he's taking you seriously. I think you should listen to your gut.
Author shan71 Posted January 10, 2018 Author Posted January 10, 2018 thanks am i doing right thing not responding to that text do you think he notice if i stop texting him? as my daughter asks for him and dont want ruin there friendship shes blaming me for it shes 12
smackie9 Posted January 10, 2018 Posted January 10, 2018 You have said something, he says he's busy. That's all you can do about it. You can't force him to be the BF you want him to be. If it doesn't feel right, then stop being in this relationship and find someone who meets your expectations. I dated someone that only saw me when it was convenient for them...I ditched him after about 3 weeks. best thing I ever did.
LoverOfDance Posted January 10, 2018 Posted January 10, 2018 @Shan71 - It's kind of like a game but it's clearly a game you don't enjoy. You're playing it in hopes that he'll see that something is wrong and hopefully sit up and act right. I'm really sorry to say but from your post, I get the feeling/impression that he isn't crazy about you. I would say maybe just ask him how he feels about you. Ask him if he loves you. If he does, then he needs to act like it because words without actions mean nothing. If he says he doesn't then you can decide whether you want to leave or stay regardless.
Author shan71 Posted January 10, 2018 Author Posted January 10, 2018 hes obviously not interested in me but why not accept it when i try finish with him
Author shan71 Posted January 10, 2018 Author Posted January 10, 2018 @Shan71 - It's kind of like a game but it's clearly a game you don't enjoy. You're playing it in hopes that he'll see that something is wrong and hopefully sit up and act right. I'm really sorry to say but from your post, I get the feeling/impression that he isn't crazy about you. I would say maybe just ask him how he feels about you. Ask him if he loves you. If he does, then he needs to act like it because words without actions mean nothing. If he says he doesn't then you can decide whether you want to leave or stay regardless. i can answer these one if not wanting me why not let me go when i said to him i cant do this anymore he has told me he loves me im not playing games i just dont see point why text him to be ignored again and what could i really say to that text he said
LoverOfDance Posted January 10, 2018 Posted January 10, 2018 If he's not acting like he loves you and you don't like it then leave. He can't force you to stay. You're staying because you want to. He can't force you no matter what he says. It's your choice. You have told him how you feel and he has refused to change. You have two options - leave or stay. Don't drive yourself crazy because of this. Just make a choice and try your best to stick to it.
Miss Spider Posted January 10, 2018 Posted January 10, 2018 your bf sounds over the rship and this sounds like slow fade. I' m sorry. Ultimatum or just cut the cord
d0nnivain Posted January 10, 2018 Posted January 10, 2018 If he has said he loved you, I suspect he may be giving you all he has, not realizing it's not enough. He likes you on his terms -- on a limited basis when it's convenient for him. Because you allow this, it continues. It will stop when you walk away & don't look back.
snowboy91 Posted January 10, 2018 Posted January 10, 2018 yes we met have been since 2 yrs now but when dont hear off him i overthink from illness did date him 4 yrs ago but he ghosted and came back so i do question if he still around when dont hear off him i just didnt know or what to say to that text i fed up getting hurt if i text and get ignored we see each other when we can usually once a fortnight for about 5 hrs as he works long hours So you've been together 2 years and he only messages every few days? And you only get to see each other every couple of weeks? Do you feel as if that's enough time with him? I agree with Cookiesandough, the fact he's calling you "impatient" at this point in the relationship suggests he's checking out, I'm afraid. You want him to be in touch every day (give or take the long hours) and you want him to put in the effort to initiate contact. And I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume you want to see him more often than you do (correct me if I'm wrong). At this point your needs aren't being met in the relationship, and you should consider leaving so you can find someone who will meet those needs. 1
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