No_Go Posted January 12, 2018 Posted January 12, 2018 You should not let him pay if you don't desire to see him again. Otherwise - yeah, if you have set time to spend together by all means do it. But you know what? I think your spider senses are (rightfully) flaring up here, the conversation is not cause but consequence... After I met him for coffee today, I'm pretty sure nothing will ever happen between us. The conversation isn't flowing, I'm neither interested or intrigued and on top of that he talks so mildly and quietly, that I always have to ask him to repeat what he said. His jokes irritated me a bit, they were innocent of course, but just not my type of humor. He's surely a good person, has that vibe of someone pretty decent, but I don't think I'd ever find him attractive. Maybe I don't match with introverts like I though I would. Well anyway, he came here for me, so I'll meet him tomorrow again and keep company as I would for a friend, as he's inviting me to a place I named him as my favorite in town. I don't think we'll ever see each other again after he leaves.
GuitarGuy7 Posted January 12, 2018 Posted January 12, 2018 Look on the bright side if he's super excited to see you, then imagine how excited he'll get during sex.
Author Lorenza Posted January 12, 2018 Author Posted January 12, 2018 Look on the bright side if he's super excited to see you, then imagine how excited he'll get during sex. I'm pretty sure the opposite is right
Miss Spider Posted January 12, 2018 Posted January 12, 2018 They all act normal at first...Well, actually that's not true. 1
GemmaUK Posted January 12, 2018 Posted January 12, 2018 After I met him for coffee today, I'm pretty sure nothing will ever happen between us. The conversation isn't flowing, I'm neither interested or intrigued and on top of that he talks so mildly and quietly, that I always have to ask him to repeat what he said. His jokes irritated me a bit, they were innocent of course, but just not my type of humor. He's surely a good person, has that vibe of someone pretty decent, but I don't think I'd ever find him attractive. Maybe I don't match with introverts like I though I would. Well anyway, he came here for me, so I'll meet him tomorrow again and keep company as I would for a friend, as he's inviting me to a place I named him as my favorite in town. I don't think we'll ever see each other again after he leaves. How did he react when you told him there was no interest on your side? I assume he took it really well if you are meeting again tomorrow.
Author Lorenza Posted January 12, 2018 Author Posted January 12, 2018 How did he react when you told him there was no interest on your side? I assume he took it really well if you are meeting again tomorrow. I haven't openly said that, kinda don't want to ruin his stay.
Author Lorenza Posted January 12, 2018 Author Posted January 12, 2018 They all act normal at first...Well, actually that's not true. Come on, you're too young for the "they all" talk 3
Fair Posted January 13, 2018 Posted January 13, 2018 He may be a little unbalanced. Or a lot. Be careful. 2
rightondude Posted January 13, 2018 Posted January 13, 2018 how do you think this guy is gonna take "the ending" of this experience, since you're not interested? Just remember, for him, it's fulfilling a fantasy! It's like a damn movie! For you, it's "meh" Be careful. 1
FilterCoffee Posted January 13, 2018 Posted January 13, 2018 Well anyway, he came here for me, so I'll meet him tomorrow again and keep company as I would for a friend, as he's inviting me to a place I named him as my favorite in town. I don't think we'll ever see each other again after he leaves. Hey Lorenza, How do plan on letting him down? I hope you say something to him cos if he goes in for a kiss or any kind of physical contact it’ll be awkward for both of you!
Author Lorenza Posted January 13, 2018 Author Posted January 13, 2018 how do you think this guy is gonna take "the ending" of this experience, since you're not interested? Just remember, for him, it's fulfilling a fantasy! It's like a damn movie! For you, it's "meh" Be careful. Oh yeah, he seems to be the romantic type. Too bad nothing about him wakes any romantic feelings in me. I will let him know when he's back home. Why ruin his movie 1
Author Lorenza Posted January 13, 2018 Author Posted January 13, 2018 Hey Lorenza, How do plan on letting him down? I hope you say something to him cos if he goes in for a kiss or any kind of physical contact it’ll be awkward for both of you! It's already awkward. He came real close to take my coat for me, it looked like he's about to kiss me or something and instinctively stepped back, possibly with a terrified expression on my face. Oh, and he probably misread me once. Here in Scandinavia it's customary to give a quick hug as goodbye. I've picked up this habit during those 10 years spent here. The first night, I gave him a friendly hug without even thinking, like I'd normally do to anyone and he instantly lit up. Damn, he must have thought I did it because I like him. Made sure not to do that again
FilterCoffee Posted January 13, 2018 Posted January 13, 2018 Damn, that hug was a mistake lol. I wouldn’t spend too much time with him if I were you; that would just give him false hope. Just tell him that you’re not feeling it and hopefully he’ll understand.
Author Lorenza Posted January 13, 2018 Author Posted January 13, 2018 Ugh, I had to tell him it's been a bit too much. We've already made plans to go to my favorite place in town, but during the day he wrote he's passing by my area and asked if he should come by. What the hell?? I got super irritated, like how smothering can it get? When I said no, he asked if he could come by tomorrow and get a lesson (he's learning to play the instrument I teach) before going away and that's when I told him I understand he's trying to get the most out of this visit, but it's a bit too much for me and I don't know if it would work out. I suggested I keep him company tonight anyway, but that I'm most likely not interested. He only answered "sure". Goodness, I can never win, can I? In autumn I dated a guy who would take weeks to propose a date and now I'm punished with someone like this.
FilterCoffee Posted January 13, 2018 Posted January 13, 2018 Damn that sucks. Well at least you now know what the extremities are like! It’s nice that you’re being considerate but you really don’t have to meet him.
bachdude Posted January 13, 2018 Posted January 13, 2018 This whole thread is a perfect example of why a guy looking too interested in the beginning awakens all sorts of defensives, suspicions, and generally just makes the woman feel uncomfortable. No comfort = no feelings
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 13, 2018 Posted January 13, 2018 I'm shocked this guy turned out to be an introvert. 1
Author Lorenza Posted January 13, 2018 Author Posted January 13, 2018 Damn that sucks. Well at least you now know what the extremities are like! It’s nice that you’re being considerate but you really don’t have to meet him. I did end up canceling after all, cause I seriously started feeling feverish, didn't even have to make it up. He wrote that he misses me already, he's sorry if he made a bad impression and he hope that we can continue talking so I might change my opinion... This guy is desperate, can't be anything else. I mean, I understand I'm an interesting woman, but I'm not someone extraordinary, to wake such excessive interest. I think he made up something in his own mind. And that is definitely not attractive. 2
newyorker11356 Posted January 13, 2018 Posted January 13, 2018 I did end up canceling after all, cause I seriously started feeling feverish, didn't even have to make it up. He wrote that he misses me already, he's sorry if he made a bad impression and he hope that we can continue talking so I might change my opinion... This guy is desperate, can't be anything else. I mean, I understand I'm an interesting woman, but I'm not someone extraordinary, to wake such excessive interest. I think he made up something in his own mind. And that is definitely not attractive. You may not think so, but the other person thinks so That being said, good that you canceled a 2nd date with him. 2
Author Lorenza Posted January 13, 2018 Author Posted January 13, 2018 Hope you feel better, Lorenza! Aww, thanks!
DontBreakEven Posted January 13, 2018 Posted January 13, 2018 It is creepy, a stranger that sees your picture on a dating site and hunts you down on FB till he finds you IS creepy. Normal men that cannot communicate with a woman on a dating site will just move to next they won't go out of their way to find them on social media. Second, he is all delusional about you but he doesn't know you. It's all in his head, he already sees himself in your life. You are looking for trouble with this man. I don't really think it's creepy. I've done this if I was SUPER attracted to a girl ... why not try? 99% of the time it will get ignored, but I've gotten through before with my intelligence and wit as well. Never worked out because it was always me more interested, and her just going along with it like OP. OP, he's too excited because he was excited from the get go. Liked your pics enough that he hunted you doing on social media. You never even matched with him. Of course this is imbalanced.
Author Lorenza Posted January 13, 2018 Author Posted January 13, 2018 You may not think so, but the other person thinks so That being said, good that you canceled a 2nd date with him. 3rd actually, we met for coffee yesterday as well, and went out the night before
DontBreakEven Posted January 13, 2018 Posted January 13, 2018 After I met him for coffee today, I'm pretty sure nothing will ever happen between us. The conversation isn't flowing, I'm neither interested or intrigued and on top of that he talks so mildly and quietly, that I always have to ask him to repeat what he said. His jokes irritated me a bit, they were innocent of course, but just not my type of humor. He's surely a good person, has that vibe of someone pretty decent, but I don't think I'd ever find him attractive. Maybe I don't match with introverts like I though I would. Well anyway, he came here for me, so I'll meet him tomorrow again and keep company as I would for a friend, as he's inviting me to a place I named him as my favorite in town. I don't think we'll ever see each other again after he leaves. Does not shock me.
FilterCoffee Posted January 14, 2018 Posted January 14, 2018 I think he made up something in his own mind. Yeah this guy made up all kinds of fantasies about you. Even if you did consider dating him, it’s unlikely that you would’ve lived up to the stories in his mind. Oh well, at least you got to go to your favourite restaurant. Hope you get well soon.
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