browzer Posted January 9, 2018 Posted January 9, 2018 Well, if he does contact you, you can hear him out. If he doesn't contact you, then you were right to delete his number. Pointless. He probably doesn't even know why other than he isn't feeling it, unless he met someone else but if he did he probably wouldn't admit it. 1
Sunlight72 Posted January 9, 2018 Posted January 9, 2018 Wow D0nnivain, that is a good post! Thanks. I'll reread it a few more times in the coming days. I'm trying to get a little perspective on this myself. I especially like your last paragraph! I 'knew' it already, but was needing the boost of seeing it in black and white, and you composed it well.The point of dating is to assess compatibility. That takes time, certainly more than the 90 days you have given each other. ........ .....OLD is a single tool. Use it as such, not as your only lifeline to others. Put yourself out there. Make a commitment to do at least one thing per week to meet new people: network; attend a singles event; go to a meetup; go speed dating; attend a hobby based get together; volunteer. If you do those things you will also meet people who share your interests which is an excellent foundation.
Maggie4 Posted January 9, 2018 Posted January 9, 2018 Look, folks, I don't know the details of their relationship. I don't know whether the OP is the one that rushed things (sorry OP, you had a history of at least allowing someone from OLD to move too fast). I don't do online dating but I do know something about long term relationships and what is needed to make that work. If he doesn't think she's right for him, he doesn't have to contact her. If he was misunderstood, let him explain. Why is it necessary to storm off without listening?
Author confusedgirlfriend11 Posted January 10, 2018 Author Posted January 10, 2018 Look, folks, I don't know the details of their relationship. I don't know whether the OP is the one that rushed things (sorry OP, you had a history of at least allowing someone from OLD to move too fast). I don't do online dating but I do know something about long term relationships and what is needed to make that work. If he doesn't think she's right for him, he doesn't have to contact her. If he was misunderstood, let him explain. Why is it necessary to storm off without listening? No need to apologise as you're correct - I usually rush. That's why this has baffled me more as I have been so relaxed with him. I haven't been demanding of his time, we kept things light hearted but he was the one who would open up about the future and things like that. I feel like I need to understand whether it is a matter of he doesn't have time or he doesn't have time for me. I honestly would prefer to know, even if it is me as I know my own self worth so if it is me, then I know that's just his opinion. But I guess if I don't hear from him then he's given me my answer already and it is me that he can't be bothered with.
Author confusedgirlfriend11 Posted January 10, 2018 Author Posted January 10, 2018 I just thought I'd update. He text me this morning. I explained how confused I was with how abruptly he ended things and he explained how as much as he wants to be with me, he just has to be true to himself and concentrate on him feeling better in life with his priorities and commitments. I know most people will see that as a cop out but it's fine. I understand the situation more. He said again what a wonderful person I am and how he knows he's being a fool to throw our relationship away but it's not fair on me for him to mess me around whilst he's sorting his head out. I respect him putting himself first and being true to his needs. I'm disappointed but that's life I guess. Lots learnt once again from this experience. Thanks for your advice.
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