Smash1989 Posted January 9, 2018 Posted January 9, 2018 I am currently very interested in a coworker that I work with and report to the same manager. I have known this girl for about 4 months now. She has a lot of common interests and some days at work we end up just talking all morning. She is known to be shy when initially meeting someone and overthinks a lot of things (LIKE ME). We have been hung out in group settings and one on one outside of work a few times over the last few months. She have flirted here and there but I feel like her body language doesn't show she wants me to make a move. However, I sometimes send mixed signals too because I don't want to come off as over embracive. When it comes to texting I typically am the one to engage her. She always will respond and usually will keep the conversation going. I really like this girl and can see a future between us. The only reason I have been hesitant to make a move is because she reports to the same manager as me. However, I am moving onto a new team soon and will be working on a different floor. I have kind of been waiting to make this move out of respect of the work environment. Last week she came over to my apartment after work to watch her favorite TV show and I really wanted to ask her out on a real date when she was there. We had a great time and she hugged me goodbye (as always) and then was on her way out the door. I quickly reacted and asked her if she wanted to go skating on Saturday. She told me to text her as she was waiting on the elevator. I texted her with the time and she said maybe as she might have to babysit. Then I responded with "Okay let me know as I would really like to take her ice skating and out to dinner" and she was receptive to this. As the week went on she didn't confirm on what her plans were on Saturday. She did end up having to babysit and I talked to her about rescheduling for the following week which she said yes we should try going out then. Today at work she mentioned her and her friends are going out of town this weekend to visit some friends out of state. I offered to her that we can try going out after work. She said she is busy this week so I suggested that we go out next week. She didn't confirm or reject me, but she joked that "she doesn't associate with non-team members" Parts of me feels like she doesn't want me to make a move and parts of me thinks she has been waiting for me to make one... I just hope I didn't miss my shot. I am now left with no solidified plans with her. I was going to give her some space over the next few days and let her think. However, I am not sure if I should wait and allow her to respond with my offer of going out after work the following week or just spontaneously ask her to go out for a quick drink after work and express how I feel and why I have been acting the way I have... If I got the change to go out with her one more time I would say this "I have really enjoyed hanging out with you at work and outside of work. I have been meaning to ask her out on an official date but have been hesitant because of the work environment. I just hope I did not miss my shot. She is a terrific girl and I really would just like to tell her how I feel once I switch teams.
mortensorchid Posted January 9, 2018 Posted January 9, 2018 I wasn't going to say anything about this matter, but I am because I don't want you or anyone else to make the same mistakes I did in my working life. Please follow these parameters: 1) Coworkers are not friends - It's easy for you to think that coworkers are friends because you will spend more time with them than you will any others out there. That's not the case. 2) Misery loves company - People come to work not to make a living but to get away from whatever is going on in their miserable lives outside of the workplace. And they bring it with them. 3) Be friendly but not too friendly with coworkers - YOu have no choice but to be by their sides all day, make it as pleasant as possible. They all hate you on sight for a variety of reasons. 4) Never have you social / sexual needs met by a coworker - The world is fully of lonely people, we all have needs for companionship on different levels, and we naturally look to others for these needs. You DON"T WANT TO GO THERE OR IT WILL COME BACK AND BITE YOU. Please listen to these words. If you don't listen to them now, follow them at your second and all following jobs from the one you have now. Good luck.
Author Smash1989 Posted January 9, 2018 Author Posted January 9, 2018 Thank you for your thoughts. However, I did date a co worker in the past and it obviously didn't work out but our professional lives did not get impacted. I do hear a lot of great success stories about co worker relationships that turn out well and that makes me hopeful.
Recommended Posts