Green_Eren Posted January 9, 2018 Posted January 9, 2018 Hey guys. So about 1 month and a half ago I went on a tinder date with this girl. The date started off a bit stale but it quickly picked up and we ended up having a great time. We ended up talking outside of my place until 3am inside my car and making out a bunch, she even ended up sleeping over cause it was too late and she was tired. I was respectful and didn't try anything, we cuddled though. Fast forward 2 weeks and we had hung out several more times, had sex, and even held hands in public one time. Me and her are very similar in the way we are (Kinda chill personality) and I think thats why we hit it off so well. She's from (Lets say California), she has always lived there, I however was new to town because I transferred to a college out there. So I had to return back to my home state for the holiday break since I already had booked my flight and everything to see my family/friends. My last 4 days in California, we legit spend them all together, 2 nights at my place and 2 nights at her place. A lot of talking, cuddling, sleeping together, and messing around. We got breakfast every morning, she even introduced me to all her friends and we all went out to a dance night club together one night and it all went great. Then I left for break, I would be gone for 5 weeks. So after I left Cali, we were snap chatting each other every single day and we even talked on the phone for 2 hours this one night. This was the case for the first 2 weeks I was on break. I would sometimes initiate it, sometimes she would. Then after new years she didn't mssg for like 2 days, I mssgd her and it turns out she and her friend both got their phone stolen on new years. I felt slightly relieved and then tried getting convo going but it was short lived and she just left me on opened. Usually I'm kinda doing the work in keeping the convo going, I ask questions and stuff, she does sometimes too but its mostly me. Kinda how it is in real life too lol. Then another 2 days passed and commented on one her snaps asking something to which she right away replied with "Yup" I was like wtf? why is she being like this? but I replied and then she proceeded to reply again, this time slightly less dry. In the snap she was playing tennis, so I told her I challenged her to a match of 1 on 1 and she simple replied "We''ll see lol". I found it weird because one of our best dates was playing 1 on 1 soccer and so it made sense for me to ask her this. I left that on open for a few hours cause I know when to cut my losses, but for some reason like 3 hours later I sent her a picture snap saying "Lol let me know when u step up to the challenge" and she just left it on open.. So I'm I being ghosted?? why does she keep replying back if her intent is to ignore me? it doesn't make sense to me. And she also ALWAYS views my snap story whenever I post anything, even still. so what gives? It's silly, but I feel kinda worried that whatever we had might fizzle out in these next 2 weeks until I got back to Cali. Should I be worried? We're definitely not exclusive so the thought has also come to my mind that she may be talking to someone new over there. That last message I sent feels like it should be my last. I think anymore messages will just seem desperate, what do you guys think?
ktmiller222 Posted January 9, 2018 Posted January 9, 2018 Sounds like you guys got too "serious" too soon even though it wasn't exclusive. When you spend that much time together/communicating that soon, most of the time it dies sooner than later. I think you should find some other people to date.... good luck,,,,
Author Green_Eren Posted January 9, 2018 Author Posted January 9, 2018 Do you think I should message her once im back in Cali in 11 days? Is there something to salvage here?
Iseult Posted January 9, 2018 Posted January 9, 2018 Is there something to salvage here? Only your self-respect. And even that prospect is slipping away with every post you make on this. 2
Mkn1010 Posted January 9, 2018 Posted January 9, 2018 You guys sound young, young people (especially those on holidays) have very short attention spans. Plus it's Tinder, many other guys who aren't miles away are probably given her the attention she requires for now, until boredom sets in again and I'm sure you'll get another whiff! 2
Author Green_Eren Posted January 9, 2018 Author Posted January 9, 2018 Should I message her when I'm back in town? like is it worth a shot?
Flame Aura Posted January 9, 2018 Posted January 9, 2018 Should I message her when I'm back in town? like is it worth a shot? Its always worth a shot. When you are back drop her a message asking if she wants to meet up. Overall it does sound like she got with someone else though. If you didn't become exclusive then theres nothing stopping her from carrying on using Tinder while you are away and getting with someone same way she did with you. Next time if you want something serious then make it clear.
Erik30 Posted January 9, 2018 Posted January 9, 2018 It seems like she's doing the slow fade. You can usually tell when they start to take their time to reply, and you only get short messages in return, making it feel like you're doing all the work. (Till they don't reply at all anymore) Try to set something up with her when you get back. If she's "busy," it's probably done. 1
Author Green_Eren Posted January 9, 2018 Author Posted January 9, 2018 It seems like she's doing the slow fade. You can usually tell when they start to take their time to reply, and you only get short messages in return, making it feel like you're doing all the work. (Till they don't reply at all anymore) Try to set something up with her when you get back. If she's "busy," it's probably done. Yeah I think I will try that when I get back in 10 days. Should I go radio silent until then or would that be weird?
Author Green_Eren Posted January 9, 2018 Author Posted January 9, 2018 Would it be crazy to just straight up ask her whats going on? something like: "Hey so I'm honestly kinda confused lol. Is everything cool between me and you?"
Author Green_Eren Posted January 9, 2018 Author Posted January 9, 2018 Don’t do it. Please don’t. I hear ya, can you elaborate a bit on why you don't think I should? Heres my perspective: We spent ALOT of time together, like we both wanted to see each other. A total of about 7 dates. We slept cuddling together and woke up making out and talking about our dreams and stuff. Get what I'm saying? Things got kinda intimate. So for this reason, I kinda feel like my asking her whats up is reasonable. If this was just a couple of dates, I wouldn't bother. But it was wayyy more than that. We were acting like a couple a lot of the times and thats why it's bugging me so much 1
olivetree Posted January 10, 2018 Posted January 10, 2018 I hear ya, can you elaborate a bit on why you don't think I should? Heres my perspective: We spent ALOT of time together, like we both wanted to see each other. A total of about 7 dates. We slept cuddling together and woke up making out and talking about our dreams and stuff. Get what I'm saying? Things got kinda intimate. So for this reason, I kinda feel like my asking her whats up is reasonable. If this was just a couple of dates, I wouldn't bother. But it was wayyy more than that. We were acting like a couple a lot of the times and thats why it's bugging me so much Picture it like this: She's running away from you. You're chasing. What do you do when someone chases you? You run away more. You need to move in the other direction and get busy. 1
Miss Spider Posted January 10, 2018 Posted January 10, 2018 (edited) I hear ya, can you elaborate a bit on why you don't think I should? Heres my perspective: We spent ALOT of time together, like we both wanted to see each other. A total of about 7 dates. We slept cuddling together and woke up making out and talking about our dreams and stuff. Get what I'm saying? Things got kinda intimate. So for this reason, I kinda feel like my asking her whats up is reasonable. If this was just a couple of dates, I wouldn't bother. But it was wayyy more than that. We were acting like a couple a lot of the times and thats why it's bugging me so much I am sorry this happened but none of this matters anymore now. She lost interest. It happens all the time. Especially with distance and after meeting on such a fickle place like Tinder. This is apparent by being terse in responses/ignoring you altogether. That's not how interested people act. She's a Tinder girl who snaps. I guarantee another guy entered or was already in the pic and her attention diverted. Asking her if things are fizzling out when it is obvious she is pulling the slow fade only makes you look needy. I know you want 'closure', but people rarely give people that. Judging by people who have done the "Is this fizzling out? Do you want to stop seeing each other?" You will be met with an eye roll and a defensive comment like "Um no, I've just been busy..." or something like "Idk. why?" and you will forced more indignity of explaining your insecurities of her ignoring you and she will just gaslight you and say you're being ridic. Try to move on to other girls like other user said....jmo Edited January 10, 2018 by Cookiesandough 1
Author Green_Eren Posted January 10, 2018 Author Posted January 10, 2018 I am sorry this happened but none of this matters anymore now. She lost interest. It happens all the time. Especially with distance and after meeting on such a fickle place like Tinder. This is apparent by being terse in responses/ignoring you altogether. That's not how interested people act. She's a Tinder girl who snaps. I guarantee another guy entered or was already in the pic and her attention diverted. Asking her if things are fizzling out when it is obvious she is pulling the slow fade only makes you look needy. I know you want 'closure', but people rarely give people that. Judging by people who have done the "Is this fizzling out? Do you want to stop seeing each other?" You will be met with an eye roll and a defensive comment like "Um no, I've just been busy..." or something like "Idk. why?" and you will forced more indignity of explaining your insecurities of her ignoring you and she will just gaslight you and say you're being ridic. Try to move on to other girls like other user said....jmo Honestly, I think theres a good chance youre right about this, but Im really leaning towards atleast trying to ask her whats going between me and her. I've got nothing to lose either way, and I know we both had a really good time together so I'm not gonna leave this up to chance. From my experience, girls are weird sometimes. Its not likely but it is possible that she thought something like "hes not interested anymore so Im losing interest" Like I said, unlikely but still possible. I know I sound like im grasping at straws but I'm really just giving this my best shot. Because F*ck it, you only live once. And I don't wanna live my life by some arbitrary rules of not seeming needy or knowing when to let go. If I'm never seeing this person again, what difference will it make anyways
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