HeleneMary Posted January 8, 2018 Posted January 8, 2018 I recently ended a 1.5 year relationship and after a half month he started dating a 16 year old girl(he is 22).They knew each other and used to go out often as friends but I trusted him and I never thought they will date because of the age difference.He also told me that he likes being controlling in a relationship.The main reason why we decided to end it was because he was living abroad.I wasn't sure that I want to move there and he doesn't want to return home either.We also had some arguments during our relationship ,he used to get angry sometimes even called me "stupid" twice.After breaking up I apologized for every mistake and told him how much it hurts but he didn't care and eventually blocked me.I am feeling very bad what should I do? Do you think he really loved me or he only needed someone to be there for him?
Zahara Posted January 8, 2018 Posted January 8, 2018 You should embrace the pain you feel and realize that this was a blessing for you. While you may not see it now, when someone tells you that they are controlling and verbally degrade you -- you would have likely ended up abused and broken in the long run. Stay complete NC and try to heal from this. The next time a man tells you he likes to be controlling and calls you stupid, walk the other way. 4
stillafool Posted January 8, 2018 Posted January 8, 2018 You did the right thing by breaking up with him. If he is interested in a 16 year old he will always be looking for someone young that he can control. It's good that he blocked you so you can move on. 2
HumanMachine Posted January 8, 2018 Posted January 8, 2018 22 yo male going out with a 16 yo female, I think that says enough about this guy. 5
d0nnivain Posted January 8, 2018 Posted January 8, 2018 Why are you feeling bad. This was untenable on so many levels. He makes bad decisions. A 22 year old adult has no business dating a 16 year old child. Where are her parents in this? He told you he likes to be controlling. Do you want to be controlled by this guy? Think about it. Adult women like you won't cow tow to him. What does that tell you, that only a child will put up with him? He calls you names. That is a big red flag. There was no meaningful way to close the distance. You didn't want to move there. He didn't want to live where you are. How was this sustainable? You should not feel bad. You should be celebrating the fact that you dodged a bullet. You need to take a good look into your soul & figure out where your self esteem went. 2
Author HeleneMary Posted January 9, 2018 Author Posted January 9, 2018 Thank you all for these great advices made me feel better 1
ExpatInItaly Posted January 9, 2018 Posted January 9, 2018 This is a low-quality guy. 22 and dating a teen? Likes being controlling in a relationship? Surely you don't need to scrap the bottom of the barrel like this, OP. 2
mayonnaise Posted January 9, 2018 Posted January 9, 2018 First of all, I'm sorry you have to go through this. But yes, everyone is right. This might be just a blessing in disguise. Don't take anything he says personally... At least now he's showing his true colors before it's too late. You did right walking the other way. Never look back. 1
Author HeleneMary Posted January 10, 2018 Author Posted January 10, 2018 (edited) First of all, I'm sorry you have to go through this. But yes, everyone is right. This might be just a blessing in disguise. Don't take anything he says personally... At least now he's showing his true colors before it's too late. You did right walking the other way. Never look back. Well I kinda feel bad because I wasn't sure about the moving were he lives and because of that he found a new girlfriend. I recently graduated college and learning a new language,finding a good job in a different country without any experience ,living far away from my family it was a lot to take. He never wanted to return home and I don't think I can live forever in another country.He also said that he prefers to spend holidays there instead of coming home,but I am not like that I want to spend as much as time I have with my family because they are getting old. I don't understand how people move on so fast because i can't it takes me a lot of time to find a new boyfriend. Edited January 10, 2018 by HeleneMary I didn't want to reply here
Author HeleneMary Posted January 10, 2018 Author Posted January 10, 2018 Well I kinda feel bad because I wasn't sure about the moving were he lives and because of that he found a new girlfriend. I recently graduated college and learning a new language,finding a good job in a different country without any experience ,living far away from my family it was a lot to take. He never wanted to return home and I don't think I can live forever in another country.He also said that he prefers to spend holidays there instead of coming home,but I am not like that I want to spend as much as time I have with my family because they are getting old. I don't understand how people move on so fast because i can't it takes me a lot of time to find a new boyfriend.
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