StarkContrast Posted January 8, 2018 Posted January 8, 2018 I've done therapy a bit before. And I went through the usual list of recommendations post-breakup. It's been almost 3 years..... I'm considering going back. Has therapy really helped anyone? I mean is it worth it as an additional weapon to your arsenal in your defenses against the unhealthy "the one that got away" pining? I feel like I'm going to be the stereotypical guy in his 60's sittin at the bar with kids off to college, unhealthy marriage, and still deep down pining on that one regret...
d0nnivain Posted January 8, 2018 Posted January 8, 2018 Everybody hurts after a break up. Grief doesn't have a time table. However if you are still so sad that you can't function 3 years after a BU, getting some help to find inner peace sounds like a good plan.
Author StarkContrast Posted January 8, 2018 Author Posted January 8, 2018 Everybody hurts after a break up. Grief doesn't have a time table. However if you are still so sad that you can't function 3 years after a BU, getting some help to find inner peace sounds like a good plan. Did you try therapy and did it help you any?
d0nnivain Posted January 8, 2018 Posted January 8, 2018 I have been in therapy for several years but never for the end of a romance. I'm still blinking & breathing so I guess it works. I have learned techniques to ground myself but I'm hardly cured.
FilterCoffee Posted January 8, 2018 Posted January 8, 2018 (edited) Read ‘The Rational Male’ chapter 1. You don’t even have to buy it. I’m sure you can read it in the preview feature on Amazon. Edited January 8, 2018 by FilterCoffee Needed to add some more
Author StarkContrast Posted January 8, 2018 Author Posted January 8, 2018 Read ‘The Rational Male’ chapter 1. You don’t even have to buy it. I’m sure you can read it in the preview feature on Amazon. Is it one of those seduction expert books where it teaches you "game" and so forth? Not exactly what I'm looking for, if so.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted January 8, 2018 Posted January 8, 2018 In therapy now and very briefly years ago. It has been very helpful and painful. I have learned much about myself and the reasons/source of my behaviors/actions over the recent years. I am getting tremendous help and a tools to help me make changes for the better.
carhill Posted January 8, 2018 Posted January 8, 2018 I've done therapy a bit before. And I went through the usual list of recommendations post-breakup. It's been almost 3 years..... So, what were the tools you learned? I had MC and my two takeaways were: 1. Don't fight the emotion, even if ugly. Feel it, embrace it, process it as valid and let it flow into the next emotion. Don't dwell. Emotions are chemical reactions in the brain, often spontaneous. The rest is thought and choice. 2. Accept people for who they are, not who I want them to be. Accept their actions as valid and authentic. Association is not required if who they are is incompatible. I'm considering going back. Has therapy really helped anyone? I mean is it worth it as an additional weapon to your arsenal in your defenses against the unhealthy "the one that got away" pining? I see it more as a toolbox and it blew away every vestige of unhealthy emotional attachment I ever had. Best five grand I ever spent and I spent part of my retirement savings on it when we were married. IMO, therapy helped both of us divorce with a lot less rancor than would have occurred otherwise, though that wasn't the original goal of MC. I feel like I'm going to be the stereotypical guy in his 60's sittin at the bar with kids off to college, unhealthy marriage, and still deep down pining on that one regret... Yeah, if you don't remember the tools or can't implement them in a healthy way, invest in a tuneup. When life is over, it's over. It could be over today. One never knows. If therapy is not your cuppa, try something else. 1
elaine567 Posted January 8, 2018 Posted January 8, 2018 You need to get into a place where you actually want to forget her, otherwise nothing will work and you will still be there years/decades later holding on to her memory as if your life depended on it.
Author StarkContrast Posted January 8, 2018 Author Posted January 8, 2018 You need to get into a place where you actually want to forget her, otherwise nothing will work and you will still be there years/decades later holding on to her memory as if your life depended on it. I'm pretty desperate to.
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