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Just started dating after 2 year hiatus...


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Posted

I have single mostly 16 years. After my divorce I wasn't just financially ruined but emotionally as well. I needed time and to get my head straight. When I started dating I met maybe two men who were good to me but life dealt harsh on them and we didn't stay together. After them its been men who are tired (my opinion) of one night stands and not really wanting a true relationship but a regular woman to be physical with, a place to live or showing their ex they "still got it".

 

After suffering through all that I chose to stop dating. I just lived life. Now I think I'm ready to try dating again. Of the three men I briefly met (two not getting past a third date, one not getting past a 4th.) I am one again frustrated with men. Seems their little guy is dictating how they are approaching dating and relationships.

 

I am on a paid, very reputable ODS and the men there are aren't any different than the ones I dated before. I walked away from them. And started msg with two others. 1 we've exchanged 6 msgs and in each of his msgs he wants to cuddle. Seemingly that's his only focus. The other IDK about yet. We've only exchanged a couple quick niceities. I'm just wondering if I'm wasting my time with dating in general given what seemingly is what I'm working with. Its really sad.

Posted

Your frustration is very palpable. As with anything in life, you only get what you put into it. It’s very easy to blame outside forces for your lack of success with OLD, but the only thing you can control are your actions and your perspective. Once you understand this, you’ll know what to do.

 

Worst case scenario, you can always adopt cats.

Posted

I think it's best to look at it as a marathon, not a sprint, and a marathon you're willing to take a very long time to complete, with breaks in between when you lose steam.

 

A hobby, not a mission. Otherwise you can drive yourself nuts.

 

I'm on a dating hiatus like you were, by the way.

Posted

Yeah it’s a numbers game

I hear you the best thing I can suggest is try your inner circle maybe like friends or co workers someone one mutual

I’m trying that since old sucks especially now a days

Posted

You're going to get a lot of horny men contacting you via OLD no matter what site(s) you're using.

 

Please consider getting involved in some kind of volunteer capacity in a field which interests you and you will likely meet someone organically that way.

 

Older school.

Posted

What are your expectations with the OLD you're using?

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