clist8511 Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 Just a thread for discussion, I guess. From reading I've done on these forums and just general internet browsing, it seems that there are a few prevalent 'themes' with break ups. My personal experiences have been that immediately after my exes going on some sort of holiday they returned and broke up with me, almost as if the high of the holiday made them make that decision, or something. And then cut to them acting different, drinking, smoking, going to clubs... I'm talking like in the same week or so of breaking up. Perhaps that's not a theme, I don't know. Also of course there's the blindsiding, the finding someone else, and all that other stuff. Do you think there are a few set 'themes' for break ups? (Apologies if this doesn't make much sense, I'm just rambling and thinking, etc) 1
Frostedflake Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 I mean, breakups are a theme of their own. The theme is someone isn't happy and wants out of their circumstances. Wherever the shortcoming was lying such as feeling stagnant, lack of adventure, not enough socializing, etc. they will throw themselves into these new habits, hobbies, and fillers that counteract all of that. It's especially not uncommon that someone is suddenly going out to bars and clubs when they're single because it is a highly advertised way to meet other single people and have casual relations after a dry relationship. 3
Author clist8511 Posted January 7, 2018 Author Posted January 7, 2018 @FrostedFlake I agree on that part - they're a theme of their own. I don't know, perhaps I didn't make sense, I was just thinking aloud.
Arieswoman Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 clist, The only common theme about relationship break-ups is that one person always wants to break up before the other. The one that doesn't want to break-up is always the most hurt - usually because the other may well have checked out of the r/ship some time before. So when I hear couples say "We've decided to separate" I think "Yeah, right, one of you wants out and the other has to agree, and they're putting a brave face on it to appear 'civilised' " 2
Maldives Posted January 15, 2018 Posted January 15, 2018 Definatley is my friend experienced the exact same thing u did his wife going away on holidays then breaking up after. She'd met her ex back home.
Been Posted January 15, 2018 Posted January 15, 2018 Its depends on a number of factors about the person. Age. Personality. Life decisions. If a person is used to toxic relationships chances are they will remain that way. The up and down. The multiple break ups. And chances are if their past relationship history was to come to light you'd see a strong of past relationships like that. The only main break up theme I've seen and experienced is when someone breaks up with someone and the new boyfriend/girlfriend ends up being a disaster that they will seek shelter from the person they dumped. That all of a sudden they "realize" how much they loved their ex.
todreaminblue Posted January 15, 2018 Posted January 15, 2018 my theme is never make a decision to break up on a period....and the other is ...theres only so much betrayal and deceit a woman can take before she has to say goodbye......deb......
Young mind Posted January 15, 2018 Posted January 15, 2018 The events leading to the breakup are different for everyone one, but you are safe to imagine there is a trend on the characteristics of the break up itself and the preceding days. People are unhappy for several reasons, some of those reasons are communicated, some not, I feel as those issues go on, it is easy to look outside for external happiness, there comes the guy/girl at work or the party, there comes drinking excessively with friends, as the to-be dumper enjoys this new found euphoria, they immediately tap into it, then comes the ghosting and the dumpee is left dry, pondering what must have gone wrong. There is a trend about poor communication during the breakup, thus so many dumpees here, including myself, still searching for answers
love0rlust Posted January 16, 2018 Posted January 16, 2018 Yeah, totally. It's embarrassing to admit, but I've bought tens of products about breakups and getting exs back. Call it.. a hobby ;p They call share common themes - but I'd say it always comes down into the whole logic/emotion thing. Either a guy is too emotional and does dumb stuff, or too logical to understand the girl's feelings and does dumb stuff We're always doing dumb stuff
sdraw108 Posted January 16, 2018 Posted January 16, 2018 GIGs is a fairly common theme (http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/251986-grass-greener-syndrome). I've gone through a GIGs breakup and so have lots of people on this forum. A theme I've noticed is that someone who seemed to be loving and genuinely care about you for X number of years during the relationship, can become incredibly cold, distant, and even downright cruel when they decide to break up. I find that one hard to understand, because I don't have an internal switch I can flip and just stop caring about someone. But it seems a lot of people do. Another theme that someone above me has mentioned is checking out of a relationship before the other person knows anything is wrong. It's a selfish way of making it easier on the dumper at the expense of the dumpee. The dumper gets the best of both words (moving on, and keeping the relationship simultaneously) and has an easy time ending it, while the dumpee often gets hit by surprise and has to move on by themselves and all at once instead of gradually.
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