Iseult Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 It’s a red flag for me. That he criticizes women’s bodies like that tells me a lot about him Where did he criticize anyone?
SevenCity Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 In my book, the fat girls in the club ARE the beautiful women. Sounds like he may be a little superficial when it comes to womens appearances, and also that he is pretty blunt in the way he talks... Big deal, nobody is perfect. Isn't a preference for "fat girls" also superficial? Everyone is superficial. We all just have different preferences. 1
Maggie4 Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 There were so many beautiful girls, and there were also fat girls. There were so many delicious desserts, and there were also ice cream. We read into it what we think of fat girls. If a flag need be raised, let it be yellow not red.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 I find it especially bad if the comments are directed at/toward strangers. You don't even know those people!!! My exH was like this and we argued about it sometimes. For instance, if we were in a vehicle, driving down a road, and saw a couple teenage boys with their pants halfway down, or blue mowhawks or something, he could not help himself and would have to roll down the window and made a rude comment to them. It drove me nuts!! Live and let live. None of us are perfect and it truly takes all kinds to make the world go 'round. I hear you. It astonishes me how hateful people can be towards those they don't know a single thing about. They look at the exterior and all the vitriol comes out. That is not healthy by any means. 1
preraph Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 So, he has a physical appearance preference. And how many women won't date a man who's shorter? A physical preference is normal. We really can't change what we find attractive, but we can be careful how we express it. If he was putting them down, that's a negative sign of character, but if he was just describing the range of physical types and expressing his preference, that isn't so bad. I'm not clear on what he said and in what tone, so I guess you have to decide. And what man would like some woman who made fun of him every time she saw a short guy? It's mean. 1
Gr8fuln2020 Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 Where did he criticize anyone? His language seems to be indiscriminately critical of anyone fat. Don't you think? Or maybe it's just the unattractive fat FEMALES?
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 There were so many delicious desserts, and there were also ice cream. We read into it what we think of fat girls. If a flag need be raised, let it be yellow not red. Somehow I doubt OP would have started a thread about it if the comment was just a flat observation. 1
elaine567 Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 But yeah, I do know I don't appreciate negative judgement towards "fat girls". And that is why you do not make excuses for him and you do not desert your principles. 1
Iseult Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 His language seems to be indiscriminately critical of anyone fat. Don't you think? Or maybe it's just the unattractive fat FEMALES? I ask again, where was he being critical?
Iseult Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 (edited) Somehow I doubt OP would have started a thread about it if the comment was just a flat observation. I think the thread says more about the op's opinion on fat women than his. Edited January 7, 2018 by Iseult words
Gr8fuln2020 Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 I ask again, where was he being critical? I'll admit that her original post was not definitive, but it seemed to suggest that whatever he said was offensive to her. OP, could you give us more information? 1
Arieswoman Posted January 8, 2018 Posted January 8, 2018 sala93, If this guy makes comments about fat women (and it would be interesting to know what his definition of "fat" is ) and also posts pictures of beautiful slim women on his website, I would say that he's very into looks and about as shallow as a puddle in the street. That would be a no-no for me, but you please yourself.... 4
Gr8fuln2020 Posted January 8, 2018 Posted January 8, 2018 sala93, If this guy makes comments about fat women (and it would be interesting to know what his definition of "fat" is ) and also posts pictures of beautiful slim women on his website, I would say that he's very into looks and about as shallow as a puddle in the street. That would be a no-no for me, but you please yourself.... I thought the same.
Miss Spider Posted January 8, 2018 Posted January 8, 2018 sala93, If this guy makes comments about fat women (and it would be interesting to know what his definition of "fat" is ) and also posts pictures of beautiful slim women on his website, I would say that he's very into looks and about as shallow as a puddle in the street. That would be a no-no for me, but you please yourself.... Agree. Not to get all linguistic-y, but it's the "also". That makes sounds it sound me like he was drawing a distinction between beautiful girls and 'fat' girls (I think referring to people as adipose tissue offensive in itself, but that's another story),because 'also' means 'in addition to'. But if that's cool w/you, by all means 3
rie39 Posted January 8, 2018 Posted January 8, 2018 why do you feel weird when you're not dating him? Because I know he really likes me and I'm getting to know him, feeling sort of open minded as to if I want to date him in the future.
rie39 Posted January 8, 2018 Posted January 8, 2018 I'll admit that her original post was not definitive, but it seemed to suggest that whatever he said was offensive to her. OP, could you give us more information? Haha sorry. Maybe because I'm not even sure myself how rude he was when he said his comment. But I do know I already felt uncomfortable because he had been making fat jokes to me beforehand (not as in calling me fat for real, but friendly joking that I'll get fat because I eat a lot of chocolate, etc, which I didn't like, and told him I didn't like, but brushed off eventually because I thought well he doesn't mean those jokes!) and talking about models a lot. So I was probably extra critical of his comment from my already heightened concern.
Chilli Posted January 8, 2018 Posted January 8, 2018 (edited) lt is for the fat women , sorry couldn't resist. ls it a red flag if a girl comments about a fat man? Just wondering. But are you serious, l don't think neither of us could've been married 20yrs if that was a red flag to either. lighten up, holy jumpin catfish. Edited January 8, 2018 by Chilli
GemmaUK Posted January 8, 2018 Posted January 8, 2018 So it's not the first time he's made fat comments then. I'm slim but and my weight barely fluctuates but even so I avoid guys who make these kind of comments from the outset. There was only one guy - I couldn't get away from - who said much later that if I had weighed 2 stone more he wouldn't have dated me. 2 stone more and I would have been 10St. He was abusive - which is why I couldn't get away from him. I did eventually. It was quite ironic in that he was over 20st and not made up of muscle.
BoxNSox Posted January 8, 2018 Posted January 8, 2018 Hey guys, I just wanted to know this because even though I'm not dating the guy I'm speaking to now, if it's a red flag I'd like to avoid dating him in the future. He seems to be a really kind guy otherwise. He commented about fat girls being at a place he went to recently. I told him I felt a bit uncomfortable with his comment, but also felt bad if I'd made him feel uncomfortable with me telling him that haha. I just felt like maybe he had been a bit shallow. It's not really a big problem as I'm not dating him, but yeah want to know if it's something to be wary of. He's a really nice guy, but also posts lots of pictures of beautiful models on his social media, which I feel a bit weird about too. I think it's inappropriate for him to make a comment about "fat girls" in the presence of other women. If I wanted to tell my guy friends, "Hey bros, Club X sucked last night. There were nothing but fat girls there" that's another matter. Would I still be shallow for making a comment like that? Yeah a little, but my friends and I are physically fit and therefore prefer physically fit women so in that context it would just be banter with the fellas and maybe a forewarning that Club X may not be one of our hot spots. I would never say something like that in the presence of a woman though regardless of her own physical appearance. Point being: there are things you can say in the presence of friends that are often inappropriate to say elsewhere and in other company. Just my two cents. 2
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