newdaynewstart Posted August 23, 2005 Posted August 23, 2005 Hello all. I have not posted in a couple of weeks, but am constantly lurking on the board. I'll try and keep my story short. Think I am mainly just needing to vent and hear some feedback. My ex-boyfriend and I broke up a month ago Monday. We had been in a LD relationship for four months...3 hours apart. Things were wonderful at first but as time went on I became frustarted with his lack of effort in the relationship. The break up ended up pretty mutual. I was not happy in the relationship because I wanted more out of it. He admitted that when he started having deep feelings for me, that he put up a defense mechanism because of the fear of things not working out...especially with the circumstances of the distance. I can't say I wanted any of this to happen but looking back now and putting it all in perspective he just was not at any point to make me the one of his top priorities and I would not be happy if I was still in the relationship until he was able to give it his ful effort. I have gone on with my life and honestly feel a lot better about it than I thought that I would at this point. The thing that confuses me a little is that he continues to email me quite frequently. Since we have broken up I have not gone too many days without him sending an email. Thoughts on this...two weeks ago Saturday I had a few drinks in me and did the naughty drunk dial and texted messaged him, "I miss you." I think I was just trying to see the reaction I would get. I did not leave a message when I called, nor did he call back. But on Wednesday, four days later...I get a text back from him saying, "Sorry I haven't talked to you in a while. I just got your message today." I texted him back a short response...just saying, "No big deal. Hope you are having a good week." Last week he was off the entire week so it was our first week of no contact. Neither of us has called each other, other than my one drunk dial. Monday he emailed me just asking how I was, telling me what he was up to...saying it has been forever since we have talked. I just don't get it. Is he missing me at all? Or is he just trying to be my friend? Any similar experiences with this? I guess I have never ended a relationship on such good terms so it is hard to distinguish what is going on. I know I can be his friend...because it really was a case of bad timing with us more than anything else that caused our relationship to end...it is just I still wonder what he is thinking...
Chigirl Posted September 13, 2005 Posted September 13, 2005 I had a similar thing happen and posted about it on this site. Basically, my ex and I ended the relationship mutually. 2 weeks after the breakup, he emailed me. I was mad b/c I hadn't planned on talking to him. I just wanted to be nice to him if I saw him out in public. But, I hadn't expected to stay in contact. I think that's part of moving on, you each do your own thing and don't know what's going on in the other's life. So, I'm still surprised he emailed me. Now, though, we've stopped contact after the general "checking in" email. I was mad b/c I'd spent 2 weeks getting over the relationship (even when it's mutual, it's still difficult). When he emailed me, it brought up all the feelings I'd worked 2 weeks to get over. I guess my story is similar to yours, but I have no advice. Other than, things ended for a reason. I'd give it a while before you try to be friends. You both need time to re-establish yourselves and let the dust settle. Or, at least that's what I'm telling myself!
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