ohnno Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 As the title suggests Only a couple of things to add: Try to be realistic. ie some things that we think to be romantic in our heads might be a bit over the top or creepy if it actually happened IRL Feel free to describe any aspect of the date, not just the logistical stuff! For example maybe a certain mannerism that your date has, a feeling that you have during the date, little things that he/she does etc. 1
heartbrokenlady Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 1st. Something low key. Coffee and a stroll maybe. So chatting is possible. 2nd. A meal maybe? But something easy to eat. No spaghetti or garlic! First dates are about seeing if you’re compatible, not romance. 2
Author ohnno Posted January 7, 2018 Author Posted January 7, 2018 First dates are about seeing if you’re compatible, not romance. This is something that I'm thinking about right now! Can you elaborate on the difference between what you're looking for in compatibility and romance? And specifically what kinds of things add 'romance' to that second date?
Lorenza Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 First dates should be organized in a way that makes it easy to leave at any moment So I usually don't agree to go the restaurants, movies, museums, concerts etc. Coffee dates only! 3
heartbrokenlady Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 And specifically what kinds of things add 'romance' to that second date? A lovely date I went on years ago involved a walk by the river and then a pub. Nice hints of romance from the riverside location, and the pub was dimly lit, so again, romantic but not overkill. Don’t do flowers or gifts! Too much too soon 2
elaine567 Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 First hurdle Can I kiss, make out and have sex with this guy? Yes and maybe, you are in with a chance, No, forget it. You may get on like a house on fire but if it is a no to that first question, you have no chance of turning this into a romance. She then wants to get to know you, what makes you tick, your dislikes and likes, your experiences, how you view the world... etc. She will draw up a picture of you and will decide if it is worth pursuing. Compatibility is always key. Yes you can always compromise, but if her idea of a good time is mountaineering every weekend and you just want to chill out down the coffee shop and walk the dog in the park or vice versa, then quickly one or both is going to get resentful and fights will ensue. Same with the relationship, if one is looking for a relationship and the other just wants casual the one wanting the relationship will invariably get hurt, so best to make sure both are on the same page before getting too involved.
emzara Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 I don't like dates to be romantic. Romance is a fabrication that anyone can create, but it doesn't mean he's a good man, it doesn't mean he's trustworthy, loyal, emotionally mature, or anything else important. So, a good first date for me is with someone who respects my boundaries, shows genuine interest, has things in common with me, especially my values, and we have good conversation about them, and acts respectfully both towards me and those around us.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 A lovely date I went on years ago involved a walk by the river and then a pub. Nice hints of romance from the riverside location, and the pub was dimly lit, so again, romantic but not overkill. Don’t do flowers or gifts! Too much too soon This is nice, especially if you sit AT the bar. Sitting side by side is a good way to get a feel if someone is interested or not. 2
d0nnivain Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 A good first date involves good conversation. Whether that happens is not as important as the fact that it happens. The conversation should not be strained; it should involve some getting to know each other but not feel like an interview; there should not be oversharing (not every biggest fear should be revealed). There should be a light flirtation to it. Food can be an added bonus & should end in a great kiss goodnight that teases more to come. 3
LivingWaterPlease Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 As the title suggests Only a couple of things to add: Try to be realistic. ie some things that we think to be romantic in our heads might be a bit over the top or creepy if it actually happened IRL Feel free to describe any aspect of the date, not just the logistical stuff! For example maybe a certain mannerism that your date has, a feeling that you have during the date, little things that he/she does etc. This is something that I'm thinking about right now! Can you elaborate on the difference between what you're looking for in compatibility and romance? And specifically what kinds of things add 'romance' to that second date? It's not what he does. It's what he is. The more contrived, for me, the less interested I'd be. 1
smackie9 Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 I agree with D0nnivain. Try and find a place where it's comfortable, good atmosphere where you can talk and flirt with each other...build that connection. Remember with women, we get stimulated when our brains get stimulated...we judge/react to/analyze with our emotions. 1
Miss Spider Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 (edited) Ideal first date is the one with the quickest escape route Edited January 7, 2018 by Cookiesandough 2
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 Ideal first date is the one with the quickest escape route But he's really looking for info on a second date since she's already told him she didn't quite feel the spark on the first date but is willing to give it another shot..... 2
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