I'veseenbetterlol Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 My family is old fashioned and I grew up w/the notion that giving a guy sex too early makes him lose respect for the girl, he starts taking her for granted etc etc. How true is this in a functional relationship? I'm not asking about fwb or hookups.
Arieswoman Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 If you have developed a "connection" before having sex then there is no reason why the guy should "lose respect" for you. Having sex should deepen the relationship but some guys finally get sex from a girl (even one they've been dating for some time) and then panic and cut & run. There is really no one answer to this question .... 3
Iseult Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 My family is old fashioned and I grew up w/the notion that giving a guy sex too early makes him lose respect for the girl' date=' he starts taking her for granted etc etc. How true is this in a functional relationship?[/quote'] What you've described contradicts what a functional relationship is. 1
emzara Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 The answer to this depends on several factors. Age, level of interest, cultural upbringing. In some social circles, if a woman hasn't had sex with a guy after 3 dates, he believes he's in the friend zone. Meanwhile, some cultures wait until marriage. If you're 18 and a virgin it's one thing. If you're 28, it's another. Personally, I don't become intimate with someone until we have a deep connection and a commitment to one another. The timing of this is not pre-defined. Things do change after sex. A man doesn't necessarily lose interest or lose respect. If he wants a relationship and he loves you, he will lose neither respect nor interest. Things will change, though. 6
CptInsano Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 [...] Things do change after sex. A man doesn't necessarily lose interest or lose respect. If he wants a relationship and he loves you, he will lose neither respect nor interest. Things will change, though. I only tried casual sex once, and it wasn't for me. The times that I had sex with somebody I was interested in things actually changed for the better. It was like a gate opened that allowed us to express how much we wanted each other. In other words, things can also change for the better after first having sex with somebody. 3
smackie9 Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 It isn't always about "when" you have sex, it's usually how he shows how he values you before it happens. Being able to read people is necessary too. If things fizzle out, it could mean many things like the sex wasn't compatible....and we know how important sex is for the guys. No one is going to invest in a relationship if : it isn't good emotionally AND physically. That's why people date...trying each other on for size. If it doesn't fulfill one's expectations, they have the option...(even you), to move on and find someone else. Like I have said in the past, sex shouldn't be treated as currency. 5
jjgitties Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 I think there is truth to that to some extent. Don't given it up too early or too easily. If he actually likes/loves you, he wait it out. I would say it's reasonable to make him wait anywhere between 1 to 6 months. Depending how it goes and how you feel. 1
jjgitties Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 The answer to this depends on several factors. Age, level of interest, cultural upbringing. In some social circles, if a woman hasn't had sex with a guy after 3 dates, he believes he's in the friend zone. Meanwhile, some cultures wait until marriage. If you're 18 and a virgin it's one thing. If you're 28, it's another. Personally, I don't become intimate with someone until we have a deep connection and a commitment to one another. The timing of this is not pre-defined. Things do change after sex. A man doesn't necessarily lose interest or lose respect. If he wants a relationship and he loves you, he will lose neither respect nor interest. Things will change, though. The 3 date rule is a load of BS. It all depends how those dates went and what happened on them. If OP been on three dates and is still uneasy with guy and they barely touched or held hands... They are a long ways away from having sex. 3
Els Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 There are as many different answers as there are people in the world. Also, the odds of each answer would depend greatly on your social demographic, most notably culture and age range. You should do whatever feels right for you personally.
PJ1 Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 It all depends on several factors as mentioned above. If a guy feels you gave it up too easily, yes often they can lose some respect for you. Guys want a challenge. They don't want something just handed to them. That being said, if a connection is already made it shouldn't change anything.
Lamartine Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 I agree that this depends quite a bit on age and social context. In my experience, though, I've only had one guy who lost respect for me for sleeping with him too early. In my opinion, any guy who would lose respect for you for doing the exact same thing he did isn't someone worth your time. That said, sex does change things. It intensifies them, and, if you have it too early, it can push a relationship to a level it can't handle without a better foundation. Several times, the person for whom it has changed things is me. I get insecure, feel used it things don't work out, etc. A good reason to wait is not to preserve the respect of a man: it's to protect yourself emotionally. There really isn't a specific amount of time to wait. It's more about making sure you trust and care for each other. 1
SpinScratch Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 My family is old fashioned and I grew up w/the notion that giving a guy sex too early makes him lose respect for the girl' date=' he starts taking her for granted etc etc. How true is this in a functional relationship? I'm not asking about fwb or hookups.[/quote'] The longest and most trusting relationship I ever had started with Netflix and Chill as a first date and she spent the night. The shortest relationship with the most evil woman I've ever met started by dating 1 month before having sex. How long a girl waits means nothing to me. If she wants to have sex, great. If she's not ready, thats fine too. What I don't like is for her to dangle sex over my head as a prize. 4
Shining One Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 I have more respect for a woman who has sex on the first date because she wants to have sex than a woman who delays sex for an arbitrary amount of time because she doesn't want to be judged for having sex too early. 6
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